Slowly he wakes to welcome the morning
Flesh still frozen under too many sheets
Rubbing his forehead, stifling his yawning
He lingers one moment in private peace
Stretching his arms to loosen his muscles
Bending his body to strengthen his core
Tilting his head, picturing her smile
Distracted now -- missing her even more
He stares out the window, reasons unclear
Remembering her hair tousled and pressed
Against his face, slightly covering his ear
Her soft morning sigh when he touched her breast
Miles away she dreads the silent morning
Hand over heart, consumed by her longing
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Middle Ground
Middle Ground can flood
if there is too much rain
or a synthetic supply of wasted years
Middle Ground can erode
solid soil fading to grains
if the water is toxic
saturated with painful tears
Middle Ground (you say) is easier
if you tread lightly above the plains
and stay removed from our fears
But if you are living in the air
over Middle Ground regained
Won't I eventually disappear?
if there is too much rain
or a synthetic supply of wasted years
Middle Ground can erode
solid soil fading to grains
if the water is toxic
saturated with painful tears
Middle Ground (you say) is easier
if you tread lightly above the plains
and stay removed from our fears
But if you are living in the air
over Middle Ground regained
Won't I eventually disappear?
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Scar
Walk towards me slowly
Beat --
Sound --
Loud to fast
High to low
Surrender the smile
to my desire for you
You're coming
faster, deeper and further
into my private play zone
This music is sinking in
infiltrating my secrets
-- splitting my soul --
into parts I remember
and pieces I will forget
Cool air chills my drink
while heavy heat
beats erratic, static passions
to my sleeping heart
Memories start to sweat
from your wet, longing lips
I'm upon you quickly
like unexpected weather
turning from calm to wild
Some mother's young child
once too kept, too confined
to time's empty space
wanting to taste sex
from your first line
Strangers crowd this place
and I can lose myself
Cloaked easily behind
the dangerous rythm
of the steady, rising heat
and face to face
sweating body to body
we meet.
I touch you
like you've never been
touched before
Permanently creating in you
one estactic sigh
Silently owning you,
I purposely scar you
for more than one song
for longer than one life
Beat --
Sound --
Loud to fast
High to low
Surrender the smile
to my desire for you
You're coming
faster, deeper and further
into my private play zone
This music is sinking in
infiltrating my secrets
-- splitting my soul --
into parts I remember
and pieces I will forget
Cool air chills my drink
while heavy heat
beats erratic, static passions
to my sleeping heart
Memories start to sweat
from your wet, longing lips
I'm upon you quickly
like unexpected weather
turning from calm to wild
Some mother's young child
once too kept, too confined
to time's empty space
wanting to taste sex
from your first line
Strangers crowd this place
and I can lose myself
Cloaked easily behind
the dangerous rythm
of the steady, rising heat
and face to face
sweating body to body
we meet.
I touch you
like you've never been
touched before
Permanently creating in you
one estactic sigh
Silently owning you,
I purposely scar you
for more than one song
for longer than one life
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Afterlife in a Book
Leave this book with me when I'm laid to rest
My heart will remember, my soul will know
My fingers clutching it next to my breast
Return me to warmth I knew long ago
Leave this book with me its pages, our dreams
Nobody will know why it stays so close
Leaves from our fall decorating the seams
Beneath pale hands, a bible to its ghost
Leave the book with me when I'm dead and gone
When I can't feel the rain upon my cold skin
Arouse my spirit with your haunting songs
Awaken me when we can love again
Leave this with me inside of my coffin
Weep on my grave, remember us often
My heart will remember, my soul will know
My fingers clutching it next to my breast
Return me to warmth I knew long ago
Leave this book with me its pages, our dreams
Nobody will know why it stays so close
Leaves from our fall decorating the seams
Beneath pale hands, a bible to its ghost
Leave the book with me when I'm dead and gone
When I can't feel the rain upon my cold skin
Arouse my spirit with your haunting songs
Awaken me when we can love again
Leave this with me inside of my coffin
Weep on my grave, remember us often
Friday, January 25, 2008
Reading With Fear
My shaking hands cradle the book once more
And read the words from your heart sent to mine
My mind wells up with fears beyond that door
That closes when you do not have the time
To tell me that I am your life, your breath
While loving me from very far away
Remind me our faith will survive this test
When silence seems to be the only way
To cope with feelings we no longer share
But why I do not understand at all
It isn't right, or wrong but it's not fair
We ran at first and now we have to crawl?
My tears hit pages memorized too fast
Fearing our love is just too real to last
And read the words from your heart sent to mine
My mind wells up with fears beyond that door
That closes when you do not have the time
To tell me that I am your life, your breath
While loving me from very far away
Remind me our faith will survive this test
When silence seems to be the only way
To cope with feelings we no longer share
But why I do not understand at all
It isn't right, or wrong but it's not fair
We ran at first and now we have to crawl?
My tears hit pages memorized too fast
Fearing our love is just too real to last
Too Many Breaks
Words fade on pages
Memories become dusty
like unused sheets
on an empty bed
And trust me
It's not in my head
when you don't have time
just to give time
There's nothing left
to be said;
Catching your breath
is merely living your life
waiting for my death
Memories become dusty
like unused sheets
on an empty bed
And trust me
It's not in my head
when you don't have time
just to give time
There's nothing left
to be said;
Catching your breath
is merely living your life
waiting for my death
Sacrifice
Don't use me
as second time
for another sacrifice
The blood still remains
upon the floor
from the first time
you had my heart
in your vice
as second time
for another sacrifice
The blood still remains
upon the floor
from the first time
you had my heart
in your vice
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Catching A Breath
An inhale from you
cleverly disguised
is still
an exhale from me
I had to catch my breath once, too
but then
I let him go quite easily
cleverly disguised
is still
an exhale from me
I had to catch my breath once, too
but then
I let him go quite easily
Fever
Please not tonight, don't start again with me
My skin is warm from fevered loneliness
I don't need chicken soup, just let me be
My broken, ill-patched heartbeat needs her rest
It does not matter what you say this time
The window I gaze out has shattered now
Dreams suffocate under overgrown vines;
They've wrapped around my foolish hope somehow
Please stop pretending everything's just fine
If you don't feel it now you never will
What's important to you was never mine
And now we'll pass each other standing still
You won't understand everything I've said
If you can't place your hand on my forehead
My skin is warm from fevered loneliness
I don't need chicken soup, just let me be
My broken, ill-patched heartbeat needs her rest
It does not matter what you say this time
The window I gaze out has shattered now
Dreams suffocate under overgrown vines;
They've wrapped around my foolish hope somehow
Please stop pretending everything's just fine
If you don't feel it now you never will
What's important to you was never mine
And now we'll pass each other standing still
You won't understand everything I've said
If you can't place your hand on my forehead
Waiting
Waiting in line
First to be forgotten and last;
Waiting in line
Sending you my kiss to remind
Your heart of how we've lost our past
Still, slipping sands of time are cast
Waiting in line
First to be forgotten and last;
Waiting in line
Sending you my kiss to remind
Your heart of how we've lost our past
Still, slipping sands of time are cast
Waiting in line
Desert
My mouth as dry
as the last grain
blowing in the desert
no hope for shade
silhouetted in shame
for not finding my way
to the mirage
Even an oasis
in my empty mind
could wash my
desire clean
with false blues
and missing greens
as the last grain
blowing in the desert
no hope for shade
silhouetted in shame
for not finding my way
to the mirage
Even an oasis
in my empty mind
could wash my
desire clean
with false blues
and missing greens
Siobhan
You are the voice
that penetrates mine
with woman in you
we are somehow combined
Deep desires in me
they weep at your thoughts
I find solace in time
spent feeling your loss
Fondling your fears
much like my own
no quiet immunity
to the pains that you show
Past future years
and tears that I’ve wept
remain on the pillows
where you’ve never slept
Black and white pictures
with lifelines and smiles
speak all of your dreams
and comfort the child
that dwells within me
dreamlike, surreal
You are the hope
I needed to feel
that penetrates mine
with woman in you
we are somehow combined
Deep desires in me
they weep at your thoughts
I find solace in time
spent feeling your loss
Fondling your fears
much like my own
no quiet immunity
to the pains that you show
Past future years
and tears that I’ve wept
remain on the pillows
where you’ve never slept
Black and white pictures
with lifelines and smiles
speak all of your dreams
and comfort the child
that dwells within me
dreamlike, surreal
You are the hope
I needed to feel
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Sonnet to My Lover
My lover knows velvet, my gentle touch
When I trace my fingers upon his skin
Pressing firmly sometimes, never too rough
I know the place where his comfort begins
My lover knows music, my whispered sigh
Inside of his ear before I lay down
Next to his heartbeat - my soft lullaby
Fills his dreaming with sweet, angelic sounds
My lover knows fire - the taste of my kiss
Passion's desire when we meet tongue to tongue
Entwined in hypnotic, estactic bliss
We warm each other like the rising sun
My lover knows life - my own in his hands
He knows me better than he understands
When I trace my fingers upon his skin
Pressing firmly sometimes, never too rough
I know the place where his comfort begins
My lover knows music, my whispered sigh
Inside of his ear before I lay down
Next to his heartbeat - my soft lullaby
Fills his dreaming with sweet, angelic sounds
My lover knows fire - the taste of my kiss
Passion's desire when we meet tongue to tongue
Entwined in hypnotic, estactic bliss
We warm each other like the rising sun
My lover knows life - my own in his hands
He knows me better than he understands
Contemplating Shapes
A deep troubled sigh escapes from my lips
My eyes are glazed over with too many thoughts
A longing for one more sweet passionate kiss
Scolds me for fading tonight when we talked
About different shapes life brings to us
In ways we would have never dreamed before
Some odd angled ones seem ridiculous
Until they become the shape we adore
I look out the window escaping my frown
The lights seem to dance and sway with the trees
But all I can feel are lines falling down
And landing sharply, wherever they please
It does not take long to deliberate
The triangle isn't my favorite shape
My eyes are glazed over with too many thoughts
A longing for one more sweet passionate kiss
Scolds me for fading tonight when we talked
About different shapes life brings to us
In ways we would have never dreamed before
Some odd angled ones seem ridiculous
Until they become the shape we adore
I look out the window escaping my frown
The lights seem to dance and sway with the trees
But all I can feel are lines falling down
And landing sharply, wherever they please
It does not take long to deliberate
The triangle isn't my favorite shape
New Year Flashback
I was there too
Right at the bottom
of that endless abyss
Swirling around
in a puddle of thick
redundant, repeating mist
My shaking hands
curled from a prayer
turned into angry fists.
*from reading your poem, Gary.
Right at the bottom
of that endless abyss
Swirling around
in a puddle of thick
redundant, repeating mist
My shaking hands
curled from a prayer
turned into angry fists.
*from reading your poem, Gary.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Stale
Breakfast turns cold now, sitting on a plate
Without your warm smile to reflect the sun
Orange juice tastes bitter, tears fall down my face
I look for your memory but you are gone
It's not just a poem, it's not just a thought
Or cliched regret we've stumbled upon
But a moment lost by things we forgot
To have and to hold despite everyone
Who taught us to leave, give up go away
Buried hearts in fear and futility
As life gets difficult in such strange ways
Can't you just fight impossibility?
Savor this meal before it becomes stale
Wanting to love more than wanting to fail
Without your warm smile to reflect the sun
Orange juice tastes bitter, tears fall down my face
I look for your memory but you are gone
It's not just a poem, it's not just a thought
Or cliched regret we've stumbled upon
But a moment lost by things we forgot
To have and to hold despite everyone
Who taught us to leave, give up go away
Buried hearts in fear and futility
As life gets difficult in such strange ways
Can't you just fight impossibility?
Savor this meal before it becomes stale
Wanting to love more than wanting to fail
Home Improvement
This old door, it squeaks and creaks constantly
I cant walk through it without hearing sounds
Some tell me to stand and spray aimlessly
My anti-rust can shooting up and down
But a closer look will always reveal
Which pin is rubbing and making the noise
That grates on my nerves and pierces my ears
I can't ignore it, don't I have a choice?
I'll stand and inspect it, find the culprit
Sleepless, annoyed, I must figure it out
The reason it whines, why it doesn't fit
Will I ever know why? I start to doubt...
Down on my knees - I don't know what to do!
I look up at the door and see the screw
I cant walk through it without hearing sounds
Some tell me to stand and spray aimlessly
My anti-rust can shooting up and down
But a closer look will always reveal
Which pin is rubbing and making the noise
That grates on my nerves and pierces my ears
I can't ignore it, don't I have a choice?
I'll stand and inspect it, find the culprit
Sleepless, annoyed, I must figure it out
The reason it whines, why it doesn't fit
Will I ever know why? I start to doubt...
Down on my knees - I don't know what to do!
I look up at the door and see the screw
Last Thought
Driving on the frozen road
her eyes like melting icicles
she stares
Swirving mechanically
to hit the speed bumps
feeling the passion she never shared
Steering with no direction
her hands tied like knots
she grips the wheel
Increasing her speed
to miss the detours
crying for what she couldn't feel
Sitting at the crossroads
her heart shattered like glass
she turns right
Sliding down the hill
to reach her destination...
the black waters below...
he was her last thought that night
her eyes like melting icicles
she stares
Swirving mechanically
to hit the speed bumps
feeling the passion she never shared
Steering with no direction
her hands tied like knots
she grips the wheel
Increasing her speed
to miss the detours
crying for what she couldn't feel
Sitting at the crossroads
her heart shattered like glass
she turns right
Sliding down the hill
to reach her destination...
the black waters below...
he was her last thought that night
Lie to Me
Lie to me for once
and tell me that you love me
otherwise take my heart
tear it into shreds
move on...
there's nothing to see
Deceive me once again
I'll believe anything you say
otherwise trade my soul
for something less
love her...
and wish me away
Imprison me one last time
but promise to let me go
otherwise
leave my thoughts drowning in the river
where once
our passion flowed
But
Lie to me once more
and tell me that you still love me
otherwise
know this
that without your love
I will never truly be free
and tell me that you love me
otherwise take my heart
tear it into shreds
move on...
there's nothing to see
Deceive me once again
I'll believe anything you say
otherwise trade my soul
for something less
love her...
and wish me away
Imprison me one last time
but promise to let me go
otherwise
leave my thoughts drowning in the river
where once
our passion flowed
But
Lie to me once more
and tell me that you still love me
otherwise
know this
that without your love
I will never truly be free
Signs
Road map torn
my direction gone
Needing more
but it's been too long
Paths won't cross
this way again
knowing you won't let me in
Road block here
barrier there
Everywhere I turn
you never stop and stare
Jumping fences
swimming against the current
My mind deserts me
because my heart thinks you are worth it
So...
Post your signs
beneath my heart
Confuse my mind
tear my world apart
I'm something more
than what you need
so post your signs...
I'll take heed
Drive into me
with what I'd never say to you
Thrill me
with the things you wouldn't do
Feel me
in some nightmare at night
Remember
that you gave up this fight
Too many ways
you could have let me know
But when it all came down to this
you just wouldn't show
The simple answers
that I needed to hear
The car lost control
but you weren't willing to steer
Please...
Post your signs
beneath my heart
confuse my mind
tear my world apart
I'm something more
than what you need
so post your signs...
I'll take heed
Crashing head first
flesh and concrete meeting
Hitting the pavement is better
than a love that is fleeting
A regurgitated illusion
of one eternal bliss
That's all that I am to you
and nothing too precious to miss
Reariew mirror warned
that you never would
Headlights shining in my eyes
I should have left you right where you stood
Screeching onto a bridge
you had crossed before me
Horrifying twists and turns
of what I could not see
Into the cold river below
the heaviness brought me down
Unable to escape
and you were nowhere to be found
Then...
Waiting for the moment
when all was dead and gone
Quietly you stole a glance
at the fading ripple
in the water
left by one
small
sinking
stone...
Shhh...
Slowly walk past the crash site
you won't recognize me this time
Name and face will trigger no longing...
Memories disappear...
Never forgetting what you can't remember...
You survive the tragedy...
Walking away forever...
leaving it all behind
my direction gone
Needing more
but it's been too long
Paths won't cross
this way again
knowing you won't let me in
Road block here
barrier there
Everywhere I turn
you never stop and stare
Jumping fences
swimming against the current
My mind deserts me
because my heart thinks you are worth it
So...
Post your signs
beneath my heart
Confuse my mind
tear my world apart
I'm something more
than what you need
so post your signs...
I'll take heed
Drive into me
with what I'd never say to you
Thrill me
with the things you wouldn't do
Feel me
in some nightmare at night
Remember
that you gave up this fight
Too many ways
you could have let me know
But when it all came down to this
you just wouldn't show
The simple answers
that I needed to hear
The car lost control
but you weren't willing to steer
Please...
Post your signs
beneath my heart
confuse my mind
tear my world apart
I'm something more
than what you need
so post your signs...
I'll take heed
Crashing head first
flesh and concrete meeting
Hitting the pavement is better
than a love that is fleeting
A regurgitated illusion
of one eternal bliss
That's all that I am to you
and nothing too precious to miss
Reariew mirror warned
that you never would
Headlights shining in my eyes
I should have left you right where you stood
Screeching onto a bridge
you had crossed before me
Horrifying twists and turns
of what I could not see
Into the cold river below
the heaviness brought me down
Unable to escape
and you were nowhere to be found
Then...
Waiting for the moment
when all was dead and gone
Quietly you stole a glance
at the fading ripple
in the water
left by one
small
sinking
stone...
Shhh...
Slowly walk past the crash site
you won't recognize me this time
Name and face will trigger no longing...
Memories disappear...
Never forgetting what you can't remember...
You survive the tragedy...
Walking away forever...
leaving it all behind
Crowbar to My Heart
Crowbar to my heart
you force me to reveal
the words and thoughts I've buried deep
so that my soul might heal
Hammer to my mind
you shatter the logic and visions
The pain comes quickly but I suffer so long
with your indecisions
Torch to my eyes
you burn my tears with fire
The dreams drown slowly and hope subsides
weakened by your desire
Knife through my Spirit
you poison the air that I breathe
I gasp and wait for a final whisper
as I watch you turn and leave
you force me to reveal
the words and thoughts I've buried deep
so that my soul might heal
Hammer to my mind
you shatter the logic and visions
The pain comes quickly but I suffer so long
with your indecisions
Torch to my eyes
you burn my tears with fire
The dreams drown slowly and hope subsides
weakened by your desire
Knife through my Spirit
you poison the air that I breathe
I gasp and wait for a final whisper
as I watch you turn and leave
Empty Page
A dusty empty page
you will always find
For I am no longer allowed
to share what is on my mind
You cannot faithfully read
what lies deeply in my heart
and by leaving me behind
you have a brand new start
Pictures pulled down
from the walls they once adorned
They are nothing but targets
for a red hatred scorned
I feel the quiet chill
when I open the door
knowing that you haven't
been here before
There is no way to know
no trusting place to hide
A dangerous risk in itself
to try to secretly confide
Convinced my heart to believe
that perhaps, I am still missed
Still I've turned to ashes
just as she wished
Writing until my hands bled
created only for you
Knowing all was never read
whispering from hidden views
Blind is your perception
lost are my thoughts to your heart
Your arms a cold reception
to a home unvisited and dark
I go to places and you are aware
of what I am longing to know
but you shut the door before I can speak
and remind me that it's time to go
and...
Your ink has run dry
this I know and see
Have you nothing to say
do you feel anything for me
Passion turned to lies
promise to my tears
A beautiful, comforting, loving place
now filled with endless fears
Once here a blissful dream
for my soul to drink
Now a burned and blackened hole
where my hope continues to sink
My world though shattered by this
as yours is where it remains
and I have too many questions for you...
to write on this empty page
you will always find
For I am no longer allowed
to share what is on my mind
You cannot faithfully read
what lies deeply in my heart
and by leaving me behind
you have a brand new start
Pictures pulled down
from the walls they once adorned
They are nothing but targets
for a red hatred scorned
I feel the quiet chill
when I open the door
knowing that you haven't
been here before
There is no way to know
no trusting place to hide
A dangerous risk in itself
to try to secretly confide
Convinced my heart to believe
that perhaps, I am still missed
Still I've turned to ashes
just as she wished
Writing until my hands bled
created only for you
Knowing all was never read
whispering from hidden views
Blind is your perception
lost are my thoughts to your heart
Your arms a cold reception
to a home unvisited and dark
I go to places and you are aware
of what I am longing to know
but you shut the door before I can speak
and remind me that it's time to go
and...
Your ink has run dry
this I know and see
Have you nothing to say
do you feel anything for me
Passion turned to lies
promise to my tears
A beautiful, comforting, loving place
now filled with endless fears
Once here a blissful dream
for my soul to drink
Now a burned and blackened hole
where my hope continues to sink
My world though shattered by this
as yours is where it remains
and I have too many questions for you...
to write on this empty page
The End
I was standing on the edge
Feeling one last sigh
you unraveled every thread of my soul...
and then you said goodbye
Feeling one last sigh
you unraveled every thread of my soul...
and then you said goodbye
The Last Letter
You can't feel my pain
I'm breaking down tonight
And you don't taste the salty stab
of every tear that I cry
I speak to you through dreams and prose
words written from my heart
But deeper my uncertainty grows
and tears my soul apart
I knew if I went searching again
how disappointed I would be to find
Time is erasing my memory
from your forgotten mind
Look into my eyes that you cannot see
the spark is lifeless and dull
Hidden hopes and empty dreams
are starting to take their toll
I will always feel that searing pain that runs deep
when the shattering thunder meets the soft rain
But my heart will no longer be hoping to see
if you will ever return again
Please close the door gently on me
what it seemed to me was not what it was
A charred and burned ending is all that I am
another one lost but never loved
I won't leave anymore letters lying around
time to find a place warm and new
They will stay on this table never to be found
a reflection and memory...
of my true love for you
I'm breaking down tonight
And you don't taste the salty stab
of every tear that I cry
I speak to you through dreams and prose
words written from my heart
But deeper my uncertainty grows
and tears my soul apart
I knew if I went searching again
how disappointed I would be to find
Time is erasing my memory
from your forgotten mind
Look into my eyes that you cannot see
the spark is lifeless and dull
Hidden hopes and empty dreams
are starting to take their toll
I will always feel that searing pain that runs deep
when the shattering thunder meets the soft rain
But my heart will no longer be hoping to see
if you will ever return again
Please close the door gently on me
what it seemed to me was not what it was
A charred and burned ending is all that I am
another one lost but never loved
I won't leave anymore letters lying around
time to find a place warm and new
They will stay on this table never to be found
a reflection and memory...
of my true love for you
Shadows of Alone
Alone you will always find me
hiding in my mind
The dreams and confusion have taken my soul
there's nothing left to find
Fears ripped into my sanity
stealing my hope away
You left me buried underneath my hurt
and that is where I'll stay
Never did you love me
forever was not real
Memories are now shadows of sadness
my heart will always feel
Leave me here behind you
crying eternally
I've left myself alone inside
where you will never be
hiding in my mind
The dreams and confusion have taken my soul
there's nothing left to find
Fears ripped into my sanity
stealing my hope away
You left me buried underneath my hurt
and that is where I'll stay
Never did you love me
forever was not real
Memories are now shadows of sadness
my heart will always feel
Leave me here behind you
crying eternally
I've left myself alone inside
where you will never be
if you must
hurt me deeper with your lies
take me under ingore my cries
suffocate my fragile trust
do it quickly if you must
keep me up for days on end
forget to write then press unsend
hate me loathe me you don't care
I do close my eyes and you aren't there
drag my hope upon the ground
list me where I can't be found
run from everything I say
you never loved me...
you never wanted me...
you do not miss me...
in any way
take me under ingore my cries
suffocate my fragile trust
do it quickly if you must
keep me up for days on end
forget to write then press unsend
hate me loathe me you don't care
I do close my eyes and you aren't there
drag my hope upon the ground
list me where I can't be found
run from everything I say
you never loved me...
you never wanted me...
you do not miss me...
in any way
Battle
A battle rages on
inside of a broken soul
Thoughts and empty promises
never to be told
Why did she run so far
when she had the strength to fight
Darkness stole her courage
and extinguished her loving light
Take this blade before you
and stab it into her eyes
She would rather stumble blindly
then stare backwards on the lies
Tie her wrists together
break her bones and will
To leave her is to betray her
it will give you such a thrill
Walk away you clever one
never look behind
You will sicken at the sight
pure destruction you will find
Turn your head you pathetic beast
leave her on the ground
She mourns for your lifeless touch no more
and she welcomes the hell she's found
inside of a broken soul
Thoughts and empty promises
never to be told
Why did she run so far
when she had the strength to fight
Darkness stole her courage
and extinguished her loving light
Take this blade before you
and stab it into her eyes
She would rather stumble blindly
then stare backwards on the lies
Tie her wrists together
break her bones and will
To leave her is to betray her
it will give you such a thrill
Walk away you clever one
never look behind
You will sicken at the sight
pure destruction you will find
Turn your head you pathetic beast
leave her on the ground
She mourns for your lifeless touch no more
and she welcomes the hell she's found
Never For Me
Never for me
not for this
No longer a soft smile
just bittersweet lonliness
Never for me
only for them
Reading too much
my soul bleeds thin
Never for me
always an illusion
My heart breeds sadness
and endless confusion
NEVER FOR ME
forever you're gone
Wishes were lost
my hope turned to stone
NEVER FOR ME
IT FADED THAT DAY
PROMISES DEAD
YOU WALKED AWAY
not for this
No longer a soft smile
just bittersweet lonliness
Never for me
only for them
Reading too much
my soul bleeds thin
Never for me
always an illusion
My heart breeds sadness
and endless confusion
NEVER FOR ME
forever you're gone
Wishes were lost
my hope turned to stone
NEVER FOR ME
IT FADED THAT DAY
PROMISES DEAD
YOU WALKED AWAY
icy road
icy road ahead
slippery when taken
light shining blinding bright
veering to find me unbroken
invisible detour missed
having no direction
rain pours down washing away
my midnight drive's reflection
stopping on the bridge
waters churning below
opening the door looking around
for someone I'll never know
viewing another death
climbing the rail
feet braced and arms open wide
I give up this empty shell
falling into darkness
freezing and drowning instantly
saying goodbye to all that I lost
the moment you looked at me
slippery when taken
light shining blinding bright
veering to find me unbroken
invisible detour missed
having no direction
rain pours down washing away
my midnight drive's reflection
stopping on the bridge
waters churning below
opening the door looking around
for someone I'll never know
viewing another death
climbing the rail
feet braced and arms open wide
I give up this empty shell
falling into darkness
freezing and drowning instantly
saying goodbye to all that I lost
the moment you looked at me
Waiting
She waits by the bridge
looking down
reflection in the rippling water
she only sees his face
She stands at the edge of the cliff
gazing out across the canyon
wind bringing chills
she only feels his arms
She sits in her room alone
looks into the mirror
gun in her hand
she pulls the trigger...
after he walks in
looking down
reflection in the rippling water
she only sees his face
She stands at the edge of the cliff
gazing out across the canyon
wind bringing chills
she only feels his arms
She sits in her room alone
looks into the mirror
gun in her hand
she pulls the trigger...
after he walks in
That Night
Quiet night she's in bed it's late
wanting her he can't hesistate
Watching her from a distance but near
Approaching upon her sleeping silhouette
he whispers into her ear...
I want youI need you
I'm taking you you're mine
I'll make you beg
I'll make you scream
I won't waste my time
She wakes up startled to see him there
confused as he forcefully grabs her hair
Something in her back feels like a stabbing pain
she looks behind his mask into his eyes
he has found her again
NO she screams
GET AWAY she pleads
I NEVER EVEN LOVED YOU
Smirking in his eyes wicked grin upon his face
Yes, believe me, I knew
I knew it when you didn't come home
I knew it when you wanted to be alone
I knew it when you said never again and
I knew it when I saw you with him
She fell limp into his arms
jarring fear filled her heart
He had told her once before
from her he'd never part
Even if that meant
taking life from her
She knew that he would do it tonight
He always kept his word
Taking her body for hours
though fighting him she tired
Her eye upon the barrel of the gun
she wished he would finally fire
Raping her and damaging her
beyond all self-repair
He bound her wrists and gagged her mouth
and tied her to the chair
Look at me my love
see what you brought me to
All I ever wanted was love
pure and only from you
Now you cannot have him
nor can you have me
And last but not least he said
as he cocked his gun
I will end your misery
Her eyes were dead and lifeless
her body beaten and bruised
Her final thought as she watched his face
was the years of all his abuse
The shot boomed loud like a cannon
one bullet went straight to her head
The only reminder of the murder in there
was the spatter of blood on the bed
No one solved the mystery
of what happened to her that night
A second and final gunshot filled the air
and he's never been seen since that night
wanting her he can't hesistate
Watching her from a distance but near
Approaching upon her sleeping silhouette
he whispers into her ear...
I want youI need you
I'm taking you you're mine
I'll make you beg
I'll make you scream
I won't waste my time
She wakes up startled to see him there
confused as he forcefully grabs her hair
Something in her back feels like a stabbing pain
she looks behind his mask into his eyes
he has found her again
NO she screams
GET AWAY she pleads
I NEVER EVEN LOVED YOU
Smirking in his eyes wicked grin upon his face
Yes, believe me, I knew
I knew it when you didn't come home
I knew it when you wanted to be alone
I knew it when you said never again and
I knew it when I saw you with him
She fell limp into his arms
jarring fear filled her heart
He had told her once before
from her he'd never part
Even if that meant
taking life from her
She knew that he would do it tonight
He always kept his word
Taking her body for hours
though fighting him she tired
Her eye upon the barrel of the gun
she wished he would finally fire
Raping her and damaging her
beyond all self-repair
He bound her wrists and gagged her mouth
and tied her to the chair
Look at me my love
see what you brought me to
All I ever wanted was love
pure and only from you
Now you cannot have him
nor can you have me
And last but not least he said
as he cocked his gun
I will end your misery
Her eyes were dead and lifeless
her body beaten and bruised
Her final thought as she watched his face
was the years of all his abuse
The shot boomed loud like a cannon
one bullet went straight to her head
The only reminder of the murder in there
was the spatter of blood on the bed
No one solved the mystery
of what happened to her that night
A second and final gunshot filled the air
and he's never been seen since that night
Silent Suicide
I lost a friend so dear to me
my heart is filled with misery
I don't know why she went away
fate didn't choose for her to stay
She cried the tears that no one saw
cut herself for every flaw
They hated her for everything
but did not know the joy she could bring
I loved the way her eyes would gleam
when she would speak of her latest dream
She lived in a world with peace all around
in reality she existed without a sound
Smiles and laughter were all they knew
but in her heart she was already through
Why couldn't they look closer to realize
that voice in her head was Death's last sigh
Forgive yourselves for what you have done
the pain is felt by everyone
But know this tonight as you lie safely in bed
Your ignorance and neglect left your little girl dead
my heart is filled with misery
I don't know why she went away
fate didn't choose for her to stay
She cried the tears that no one saw
cut herself for every flaw
They hated her for everything
but did not know the joy she could bring
I loved the way her eyes would gleam
when she would speak of her latest dream
She lived in a world with peace all around
in reality she existed without a sound
Smiles and laughter were all they knew
but in her heart she was already through
Why couldn't they look closer to realize
that voice in her head was Death's last sigh
Forgive yourselves for what you have done
the pain is felt by everyone
But know this tonight as you lie safely in bed
Your ignorance and neglect left your little girl dead
Last Frozen Tear
Shivering in the cold feeling so empty
trying to hold your hand
The lies and the truth finally unfold
as I try to make you understand
Your eyes meet mine with a distant stare
hearts breaking with the loss
I'm mourning the possibility of what we will never share
How will I ignore my doubts and thoughts
Averting my gaze to the falling snowflakes
I watch them disappear
Slowly down my cheek drops an icy memory...
My last frozen tear
trying to hold your hand
The lies and the truth finally unfold
as I try to make you understand
Your eyes meet mine with a distant stare
hearts breaking with the loss
I'm mourning the possibility of what we will never share
How will I ignore my doubts and thoughts
Averting my gaze to the falling snowflakes
I watch them disappear
Slowly down my cheek drops an icy memory...
My last frozen tear
Hidden Music
Soft and fading
playing a melody of my heart
Forlorn and saddened
in sweet misery
I don't hear the violin
Confusion in my mind
the only sounds I know
making hidden music
to enlighten my thoughts
Gripping and moving
imitating the passion in my soul
Seductive and alluring
in full anticipation
I don't feel the bass
Body swaying
the only touch I feel
making hidden music
to hold closely in the night
and...
Breathtaking and heart stopping
mirroring the desire within my heart
Captivating and touching
in eternal vigil
I don't see guitars
Tears from my eyes
the only sounds I have left
making hidden music
for me to see
playing a melody of my heart
Forlorn and saddened
in sweet misery
I don't hear the violin
Confusion in my mind
the only sounds I know
making hidden music
to enlighten my thoughts
Gripping and moving
imitating the passion in my soul
Seductive and alluring
in full anticipation
I don't feel the bass
Body swaying
the only touch I feel
making hidden music
to hold closely in the night
and...
Breathtaking and heart stopping
mirroring the desire within my heart
Captivating and touching
in eternal vigil
I don't see guitars
Tears from my eyes
the only sounds I have left
making hidden music
for me to see
Cold
Scrape the window
upon my soul
Into your house
light grows cold
Shadow and darkness
within my mind
Out of the solitude
what might I find
Close the window
still hear the wind
Sleep peacefully
welcome the end
upon my soul
Into your house
light grows cold
Shadow and darkness
within my mind
Out of the solitude
what might I find
Close the window
still hear the wind
Sleep peacefully
welcome the end
Trash
Don't throw that one away
file it under things never to say
Leave that one lying on the ground
someone will realize it lost, then found
Put that one inside of a bin
Letting go doesn't mean giving in
Store that one inside of a steel shed
discontinued love should never be reread
Please take this one from me
hide it in a locked box and throw away the key
Crumple this one up and throw it in the garbage
I don't need the memories, sadness or the heartache
Rip this one up into millions of parts
just like he did to my soul when he broke my heart
Tear this into two and then into two again
I should have never let it all begin
Add this to the pile that is sitting at the door
a mix of unkept promises that I had heard before
Place this in your pocket read it if you will
Never let me have it again for I love him still...
Toss that one outside the window
the wind will take it where I can't go
Burn that last one in the roaring fire
and with it all...
Destroy my desire
file it under things never to say
Leave that one lying on the ground
someone will realize it lost, then found
Put that one inside of a bin
Letting go doesn't mean giving in
Store that one inside of a steel shed
discontinued love should never be reread
Please take this one from me
hide it in a locked box and throw away the key
Crumple this one up and throw it in the garbage
I don't need the memories, sadness or the heartache
Rip this one up into millions of parts
just like he did to my soul when he broke my heart
Tear this into two and then into two again
I should have never let it all begin
Add this to the pile that is sitting at the door
a mix of unkept promises that I had heard before
Place this in your pocket read it if you will
Never let me have it again for I love him still...
Toss that one outside the window
the wind will take it where I can't go
Burn that last one in the roaring fire
and with it all...
Destroy my desire
Frozen
Drowned in tears
chilled to my bones
I go everywhere to find you
but you are never home
My body shivers
from what my mind thinks
Nothing comforts me
and my heart slowly sinks
Deaf from the winds
blind from the cold
Trembling lips taste bitterness
and frozen with sorrow...
under the ice I go
chilled to my bones
I go everywhere to find you
but you are never home
My body shivers
from what my mind thinks
Nothing comforts me
and my heart slowly sinks
Deaf from the winds
blind from the cold
Trembling lips taste bitterness
and frozen with sorrow...
under the ice I go
Last Breath
Eyes downcast. Love just didn't last. Failed instead.
Logic is eternally dead. Thinking again. Reality will
always win. Swirling blender. Just ignore the sender.
Focus away. Nothing soft for today. Green stare. I will
always be there. Tear drops. I feel so lost. Emptiness
consumes. Future disappointment still looms. Needing
words. Painful silence is heard. Crying out. Fear joins
my doubt. My name. Hard and cruel game. Won't stay. Can
see clearly today. Can't leave. You have to believe.
Buried flame. Surfaces quickly once again. Slight
happiness. Tonight turns to sadness. Futile hope. I just
can't cope. My promise. A single passionate kiss. Last
Breath...
You said never forget
Logic is eternally dead. Thinking again. Reality will
always win. Swirling blender. Just ignore the sender.
Focus away. Nothing soft for today. Green stare. I will
always be there. Tear drops. I feel so lost. Emptiness
consumes. Future disappointment still looms. Needing
words. Painful silence is heard. Crying out. Fear joins
my doubt. My name. Hard and cruel game. Won't stay. Can
see clearly today. Can't leave. You have to believe.
Buried flame. Surfaces quickly once again. Slight
happiness. Tonight turns to sadness. Futile hope. I just
can't cope. My promise. A single passionate kiss. Last
Breath...
You said never forget
Smarter
Ashes to ashes
without you to see
how she manipulated and controlled me
Blow my ashes to the wind
then cast a stone
since you've never sinned
Asked for forgiveness impossible denied
Remember this
Not one but TWO who lied…
Befriending a soul deceived from the start
Smarter than you know…
I sensed danger in my heart
without you to see
how she manipulated and controlled me
Blow my ashes to the wind
then cast a stone
since you've never sinned
Asked for forgiveness impossible denied
Remember this
Not one but TWO who lied…
Befriending a soul deceived from the start
Smarter than you know…
I sensed danger in my heart
Should Have Known
Moonlit Night. All Seems Right. Lesson Learned. Beaten
And Burned. Taking This. An Empty Promise. Giving Less.
Time To Confess. Threatened Violence. Forced Into
Silence. Peaceful Here. Without You Near. Never Forget.
Hard To Accept. Deceptive Triangle. Endless Painful
Spiral. Buried Thoughts. Desire With Cost. Feeling
Jaded. Love Is Complicated. Game played. Forever So
Betrayed. Ashes Blown...
Should Have Known
And Burned. Taking This. An Empty Promise. Giving Less.
Time To Confess. Threatened Violence. Forced Into
Silence. Peaceful Here. Without You Near. Never Forget.
Hard To Accept. Deceptive Triangle. Endless Painful
Spiral. Buried Thoughts. Desire With Cost. Feeling
Jaded. Love Is Complicated. Game played. Forever So
Betrayed. Ashes Blown...
Should Have Known
Scandalous
Scandalous that I loved you
Scandalous that I bled
Scandalous that you know I meant every single word I said
Scandalous that you left me
Scandalous that you tried
Scandalous that I feel so empty now and continously cry
Scandalous that you are hurting me
Scandalous that you are gone
Scandalous that I have to hear it in every single song
Scandalous that I'm empty
Scandalous that you're not
Scandalous that writing to you is pointless and my thoughts are forever lost
Scandalous that I want you
Scandalous that I still believe
Scandalous that you had me down and crawling on my knees
Scandalous that she hates me
Scandalous that you do too
Scandalous that I am having a difficult time seeing this through
Scandalous that my heart beats
Scandalous that it stays
Scandalous that you will never feel it in any possible way
Scandalous that you said always
Scandalous that we are never to be
Scandalous that I had pure intentions as impossible as that seems
Scandalous that you won't find me
Scandalous that you don't want to
Scandalous that with every breath I still hear the words I love you
Scandalous that I feel fear
Scandalous that I can't let go
Scandalous that you cannot hold me when I'm feeling so scared and low
Scandalous that you erased me
Scandalous that I scream
Scandalous that my hopes and wishes are only in my dreams
Scandalous that it ended
Scandalous that I cannot feel
Scandalous that you and everyone else would doubt a love so real
Scandalous that it's over
Scandalous that we're done
Scandalous that I must go on and forever remain
Alone
Scandalous that I bled
Scandalous that you know I meant every single word I said
Scandalous that you left me
Scandalous that you tried
Scandalous that I feel so empty now and continously cry
Scandalous that you are hurting me
Scandalous that you are gone
Scandalous that I have to hear it in every single song
Scandalous that I'm empty
Scandalous that you're not
Scandalous that writing to you is pointless and my thoughts are forever lost
Scandalous that I want you
Scandalous that I still believe
Scandalous that you had me down and crawling on my knees
Scandalous that she hates me
Scandalous that you do too
Scandalous that I am having a difficult time seeing this through
Scandalous that my heart beats
Scandalous that it stays
Scandalous that you will never feel it in any possible way
Scandalous that you said always
Scandalous that we are never to be
Scandalous that I had pure intentions as impossible as that seems
Scandalous that you won't find me
Scandalous that you don't want to
Scandalous that with every breath I still hear the words I love you
Scandalous that I feel fear
Scandalous that I can't let go
Scandalous that you cannot hold me when I'm feeling so scared and low
Scandalous that you erased me
Scandalous that I scream
Scandalous that my hopes and wishes are only in my dreams
Scandalous that it ended
Scandalous that I cannot feel
Scandalous that you and everyone else would doubt a love so real
Scandalous that it's over
Scandalous that we're done
Scandalous that I must go on and forever remain
Alone
Failure
Where is this strength
I thought I once knew
I brought this on myself
when I wanted to be with you
I'm angry with my heart
and I can't turn off my mind
I brought this on myself
when I chose to cross the line
The days are cold and darker
how can I still close my eyes
I brought this on myself
when I believed the lies
You can't hear or see this
my bleeding wounds and pain
I brought this on myself
when I trusted once again
I have to find some refuge
from all that you don't know
I brought this on myself
when you decided to go
I thought I once knew
I brought this on myself
when I wanted to be with you
I'm angry with my heart
and I can't turn off my mind
I brought this on myself
when I chose to cross the line
The days are cold and darker
how can I still close my eyes
I brought this on myself
when I believed the lies
You can't hear or see this
my bleeding wounds and pain
I brought this on myself
when I trusted once again
I have to find some refuge
from all that you don't know
I brought this on myself
when you decided to go
Love's "Inspiration"
Love's Inspiration. Anticipation. Love's Protection.
Affection. Love's Reaction. Satisfaction. Love's Demise.
Lies. Love's Fears. Tears. Love's Fury. Worry. Love's
Revealing. Stealing. Love's understanding. Demanding.
Love's Deception. Perception. Love's Motion. Devotion.
Love's Abuse. AMUSE. Love's Trying. Dying. Love's
Leaving. Disbelieving. Love's Eyes. Cries. Love's
Thinking. Sinking. Love's Forgotten. Rotten. Love's
Heart. Apart. Love's Forbiddance. Good Riddance.
Love's Test...
Death
Affection. Love's Reaction. Satisfaction. Love's Demise.
Lies. Love's Fears. Tears. Love's Fury. Worry. Love's
Revealing. Stealing. Love's understanding. Demanding.
Love's Deception. Perception. Love's Motion. Devotion.
Love's Abuse. AMUSE. Love's Trying. Dying. Love's
Leaving. Disbelieving. Love's Eyes. Cries. Love's
Thinking. Sinking. Love's Forgotten. Rotten. Love's
Heart. Apart. Love's Forbiddance. Good Riddance.
Love's Test...
Death
My Mistake
I'm so sorry
My mistake
I thought that I love you
meant that you would stay
When did forever
turn into unless
I believed every word of it
without question I must confess
I'm so sorry
My mistake
I thought that I love you
meant you would never walk away
When did eternity
turn into except
I've become so numb
to the tears that I've wept
I'm so sorry
My mistake
I thought that I love you
Forever...
Unconditionally...
Eternally...
Meant ALWAYS
My mistake
I thought that I love you
meant that you would stay
When did forever
turn into unless
I believed every word of it
without question I must confess
I'm so sorry
My mistake
I thought that I love you
meant you would never walk away
When did eternity
turn into except
I've become so numb
to the tears that I've wept
I'm so sorry
My mistake
I thought that I love you
Forever...
Unconditionally...
Eternally...
Meant ALWAYS
Empty Apology
Empty eyes are watching you
Tears I cry you feel them too
But you turn from me as if to say
I'm sorry but it's just that way
You can't leave without goodbye
Look at my heart feel that deep sigh
But you turn from me as if to say
I'm sorry you should have known
It would be this way
Tears I cry you feel them too
But you turn from me as if to say
I'm sorry but it's just that way
You can't leave without goodbye
Look at my heart feel that deep sigh
But you turn from me as if to say
I'm sorry you should have known
It would be this way
Faceless
I can live
another day
find my place
or fade away
Knowing that you
cannot see
what your absence
takes from me
Behind this mask
a better place
for living with
a different face
Knowing that you
cannot feel
my broken heart
will never heal
another day
find my place
or fade away
Knowing that you
cannot see
what your absence
takes from me
Behind this mask
a better place
for living with
a different face
Knowing that you
cannot feel
my broken heart
will never heal
My Eyes Don't Lie
Look closely
what do you see
Do you see the pain
that lives within me
Can you feel the lonliness
from my stare
Do you know that
I will always care
Did you notice the sparkle
is one less so
One more disappeared
when you had to go
Deep in my eyes
there is a hope so great
I only feel love
no room for hate
But I understand
the games people play
I just don't want
to live life that way
A desire to reach out
and be there for you
A promise that is real
from a trust that is true
My eyes never lie
you can watch me bleed
I will believe you
and give you what you need
Past stories and future lifetimes
are what you will find
With one intense stare
you can read my mind
Look closely again
what do you see
Do you know that your absence
makes me cry endlessly
what do you see
Do you see the pain
that lives within me
Can you feel the lonliness
from my stare
Do you know that
I will always care
Did you notice the sparkle
is one less so
One more disappeared
when you had to go
Deep in my eyes
there is a hope so great
I only feel love
no room for hate
But I understand
the games people play
I just don't want
to live life that way
A desire to reach out
and be there for you
A promise that is real
from a trust that is true
My eyes never lie
you can watch me bleed
I will believe you
and give you what you need
Past stories and future lifetimes
are what you will find
With one intense stare
you can read my mind
Look closely again
what do you see
Do you know that your absence
makes me cry endlessly
Mask
A deliberate mask
Not to hide the real me
But to conceal the hurt
I will feel eternally
Close my eyes in my dreams
Open them when I'm awake
This deliberate mask worn to erase
The pain I must face
Not to hide the real me
But to conceal the hurt
I will feel eternally
Close my eyes in my dreams
Open them when I'm awake
This deliberate mask worn to erase
The pain I must face
Sorrows
Through the cold grey mist and blackened trees
A thousand Sorrows are begging me
Luring me closer through fire and flame
to feast on my flesh and banish my name
Brought to my knees I lose my last strength
my Soul can't find refuge from where it began
I am lost and forgotten and I need a new Light
yet I cannot remember to stand tall and fight
Sorrows grow closer and reach for my heart
Longing to crush it and tear it apart
Snarling thoughts pierce my insides while Fear grips my
skin
Razor sharp teeth are slowly digging in
My bones crack and moan like a great distant thunder
Sorrows have me now and are pulling me under
Screaming for a Beloved Name I thought I once knew
Bloodied and beaten I can no longer feel You
Future sadness awaits me in a lifeless tomorrow
Captured and imprisoned by these powerful Sorrows
No Promise to save me no whispers in the night
Sorrows have torn out my eyes blind from sight
I lie still as the Sorrows devour me whole
Silently crying out to You my abandoned Soul
But no one can hear me or feel my last breath
and I will remain frozen with Sorrows...
A Fate worse than Death
A thousand Sorrows are begging me
Luring me closer through fire and flame
to feast on my flesh and banish my name
Brought to my knees I lose my last strength
my Soul can't find refuge from where it began
I am lost and forgotten and I need a new Light
yet I cannot remember to stand tall and fight
Sorrows grow closer and reach for my heart
Longing to crush it and tear it apart
Snarling thoughts pierce my insides while Fear grips my
skin
Razor sharp teeth are slowly digging in
My bones crack and moan like a great distant thunder
Sorrows have me now and are pulling me under
Screaming for a Beloved Name I thought I once knew
Bloodied and beaten I can no longer feel You
Future sadness awaits me in a lifeless tomorrow
Captured and imprisoned by these powerful Sorrows
No Promise to save me no whispers in the night
Sorrows have torn out my eyes blind from sight
I lie still as the Sorrows devour me whole
Silently crying out to You my abandoned Soul
But no one can hear me or feel my last breath
and I will remain frozen with Sorrows...
A Fate worse than Death
I Fade Away
I'm sure you will love me less each day
with every horrible thing I say
It's the passion and the love I still feel for you
I'll try harder as time goes until you hate me too
Love me a little less in every way
Think of me no more as I fade away
I'll leave that special place in your heart
Disappearing from your soul we'll remain apart
I no longer exist to you anymore
Now opening my eyes and closing the door
I'm sure you will love me less each day...
Think of me no more as I fade away
with every horrible thing I say
It's the passion and the love I still feel for you
I'll try harder as time goes until you hate me too
Love me a little less in every way
Think of me no more as I fade away
I'll leave that special place in your heart
Disappearing from your soul we'll remain apart
I no longer exist to you anymore
Now opening my eyes and closing the door
I'm sure you will love me less each day...
Think of me no more as I fade away
Words
Words have appeared
now that we are apart
to cope with my invisibly
shattered heart
Find them once more
at the foot of the door
Near the place that I go
the only security I know
Lock them away
but find them today
with one reminder...
You tore my world apart
now that we are apart
to cope with my invisibly
shattered heart
Find them once more
at the foot of the door
Near the place that I go
the only security I know
Lock them away
but find them today
with one reminder...
You tore my world apart
Think of Me
You promised you'd never leave
she said with tears in her eyes
I know, my love and I never will
We will never say goodbye
How long will I have to wait
she asked not wanting him to go
I can't answer that one for certain my love
for I honestly don't know
Where can I go to find you again
she continued her questions to him
His mind felt heavy and his heart grew weak
for he knew that this was the end
What can I tell you before you leave
she quietly whispered with fear
He gently took her face into his hands
and whispered in a voice so clear
I want you to know that I love you
always have and I will for all time
Never will a day or night pass
without you knowing that you are still mine
I can't explain why life leads us down
a Path we just cannot take
I didn't mean to hurt you my love
I don't want your heart to break
Think of me when you feel the rain
upon your beautiful face
Remember all that we've shared my dear
Visit our special place
She turned to him with a sigh so deep
and felt her Soul slipping away
She wanted to let him know everything
but couldn't find the right words to say
I love you more than you'll ever feel
always have and I always will
I call to you and you are there
It brings me such a warm chill
You are the wind that blows around my Soul
and the firey passion in my heart
Your kiss is the touch I feel in my dreams
and I promise we will never part
I know that you have to go now
Though I cannot watch you leave
I want you to know I'll feel you forever
but my heart will continue to grieve
They tightly embraced each other
no space between the two
She looked up to see his loving eyes
and noticed some branches in full view
There is our tree she exclaimed
these are our woods, our home
He followed her gaze and noticed her smile
realizing he would miss it when she was gone
Yes our trees my love
they will stand here interwined
and just like us he promised her
They will be together for all time
She felt her wall go up
her passion and sadness colliding
It's time for you to go my love
and time for me to start writing
He smiled at the thought
for he knew he could always find her
Through her words and in her songs
there would be a constant and loving reminder
Close your eyes he told her
when you need to know I'm there
I will she agreed only if you remember
that I too am always there
The love they share is real
though rare and not of these days
It remains as they said forever
in the most deep and profound way
she said with tears in her eyes
I know, my love and I never will
We will never say goodbye
How long will I have to wait
she asked not wanting him to go
I can't answer that one for certain my love
for I honestly don't know
Where can I go to find you again
she continued her questions to him
His mind felt heavy and his heart grew weak
for he knew that this was the end
What can I tell you before you leave
she quietly whispered with fear
He gently took her face into his hands
and whispered in a voice so clear
I want you to know that I love you
always have and I will for all time
Never will a day or night pass
without you knowing that you are still mine
I can't explain why life leads us down
a Path we just cannot take
I didn't mean to hurt you my love
I don't want your heart to break
Think of me when you feel the rain
upon your beautiful face
Remember all that we've shared my dear
Visit our special place
She turned to him with a sigh so deep
and felt her Soul slipping away
She wanted to let him know everything
but couldn't find the right words to say
I love you more than you'll ever feel
always have and I always will
I call to you and you are there
It brings me such a warm chill
You are the wind that blows around my Soul
and the firey passion in my heart
Your kiss is the touch I feel in my dreams
and I promise we will never part
I know that you have to go now
Though I cannot watch you leave
I want you to know I'll feel you forever
but my heart will continue to grieve
They tightly embraced each other
no space between the two
She looked up to see his loving eyes
and noticed some branches in full view
There is our tree she exclaimed
these are our woods, our home
He followed her gaze and noticed her smile
realizing he would miss it when she was gone
Yes our trees my love
they will stand here interwined
and just like us he promised her
They will be together for all time
She felt her wall go up
her passion and sadness colliding
It's time for you to go my love
and time for me to start writing
He smiled at the thought
for he knew he could always find her
Through her words and in her songs
there would be a constant and loving reminder
Close your eyes he told her
when you need to know I'm there
I will she agreed only if you remember
that I too am always there
The love they share is real
though rare and not of these days
It remains as they said forever
in the most deep and profound way
Angel Tears
Yin without her Yang
Soul minus Soul
Pieces of the the puzzle missing
Angels arms grow cold
Sorrow instead of smiles
memories fall to the ground
Our woods are burning fires deep
Angels tears have no sound
Skipping all alone
through the endless trees
Endlessly crying in the night
Angels fall to bended knees
Looking at the moonlit sky
stars dance high above
Shining down upon us both
Angels cannot love
Soul minus Soul
Pieces of the the puzzle missing
Angels arms grow cold
Sorrow instead of smiles
memories fall to the ground
Our woods are burning fires deep
Angels tears have no sound
Skipping all alone
through the endless trees
Endlessly crying in the night
Angels fall to bended knees
Looking at the moonlit sky
stars dance high above
Shining down upon us both
Angels cannot love
No Wall
A wall is solid
I am weak
A wall is unbreakable or so they think
I am broken...
A wall is high
I am low
A wall protects where you shouldn't go
I am not safe...
A wall is thick
I am transparent
A wall is sturdy enough for a foundation
I am unblanced...
A wall is solid
I am rocks
I am crumbled
I am shattered...
I am no wall
I am weak
A wall is unbreakable or so they think
I am broken...
A wall is high
I am low
A wall protects where you shouldn't go
I am not safe...
A wall is thick
I am transparent
A wall is sturdy enough for a foundation
I am unblanced...
A wall is solid
I am rocks
I am crumbled
I am shattered...
I am no wall
Never Repaired
A broken heart never repaired
everything that you gave selflessly
Taken away in the blink of an eye
and now you will never feel me
I keep trying to find the words
that will make you understand
I meant it all even feel it now
still feel the warm touch of your hand
It is deep inside of me
the love the strength and the light
But I have to make it go away
save it for my dreams at night
I cannot possibly ask you
what you feel for me anymore
the sad and cruel twist throughout all of this...
is that I love you even more
everything that you gave selflessly
Taken away in the blink of an eye
and now you will never feel me
I keep trying to find the words
that will make you understand
I meant it all even feel it now
still feel the warm touch of your hand
It is deep inside of me
the love the strength and the light
But I have to make it go away
save it for my dreams at night
I cannot possibly ask you
what you feel for me anymore
the sad and cruel twist throughout all of this...
is that I love you even more
Window of Sadness
Opening the window to my sadness
you finally flew away
I cannot describe the pain that I felt
when I heard from you today
I don't want to speak or say your name
this was not some love affair
A connection beyond the naked eye
and now it cannot be there?
Don't say that you will always feel me
You cannot touch that which refuses to be felt
Take every piece of me and burn it to ashes
as you cast me into my own private Hell
Can't you hear my confusion
I go back and forth with my thoughts
But nothing can deaden this pain in my heart
and now a life without you...
I am forever lost
you finally flew away
I cannot describe the pain that I felt
when I heard from you today
I don't want to speak or say your name
this was not some love affair
A connection beyond the naked eye
and now it cannot be there?
Don't say that you will always feel me
You cannot touch that which refuses to be felt
Take every piece of me and burn it to ashes
as you cast me into my own private Hell
Can't you hear my confusion
I go back and forth with my thoughts
But nothing can deaden this pain in my heart
and now a life without you...
I am forever lost
Falling
Images in my mind
Whispered words
engraved upon my Soul
Revelations lifting me higher
until I fall
Fear grips my heart
Painful truths
spoken into my ears
Resolutions bringing me lower
until I crash
Tears in my mind
Unbelievable realities
surfacing before my eyes
Decisions taking me further...
until I lie still
Whispered words
engraved upon my Soul
Revelations lifting me higher
until I fall
Fear grips my heart
Painful truths
spoken into my ears
Resolutions bringing me lower
until I crash
Tears in my mind
Unbelievable realities
surfacing before my eyes
Decisions taking me further...
until I lie still
Smile Empty Soul
Smile Empty Soul
they said
But they couldn't hear the voices
in her head
Laugh Empty Heart
they cried
But they couldn't feel the confusion
in her mind
Cry Empty Soul
they asked
But they couldn't see the images
from her past
Live Empty Soul
they tried
And they didn't know the peace she finally had
when she died
they said
But they couldn't hear the voices
in her head
Laugh Empty Heart
they cried
But they couldn't feel the confusion
in her mind
Cry Empty Soul
they asked
But they couldn't see the images
from her past
Live Empty Soul
they tried
And they didn't know the peace she finally had
when she died
Favor
I wanted you to know
it is not you it is me
This endless pain and confusion my own
it just took me longer to see
I've given it meticulous thoughts
can't explain why it has to end
Despite the rules and mortal barriers
people just can't understand
The feelings were my completely my fault
Desire crept up too fast
You must understand it is only buried
from love for you in the past
I know it sounds absurd
to open hearts and minds
but the fact remains I remember this pain
from another place and time
So I beg of you this favor
the next lifetime you find me near
Walk past me please --don't even give me the chance
then I will never have to fear
Losing you every lifetime
tears my soul apart
and no one but you
believes the truth
that is written in our hearts
I can't bear to think of anything
for EVERYTHING carries your voice
I want to wake up and find it a dream
but now I have no choice
I want to end this hope
that my sadness will disappear
but I know in my Soul
I want to grow old
with you in my arms so near
These are only words from my heart to yours
desperately trying to convey
the love I will always have for you
and the way I feel today
No I will never forget
I cannot bury feelings that remain
I just want something to wake up my Soul
and relinquish me from this pain
There's no way to end these thoughts
I will forever continue to try
to imagine us on the steps looking up
under the night's starry sky
Wanting is just not enough
but I bow my head silently
Please hear every whisper from me to you
and sometimes remember me
it is not you it is me
This endless pain and confusion my own
it just took me longer to see
I've given it meticulous thoughts
can't explain why it has to end
Despite the rules and mortal barriers
people just can't understand
The feelings were my completely my fault
Desire crept up too fast
You must understand it is only buried
from love for you in the past
I know it sounds absurd
to open hearts and minds
but the fact remains I remember this pain
from another place and time
So I beg of you this favor
the next lifetime you find me near
Walk past me please --don't even give me the chance
then I will never have to fear
Losing you every lifetime
tears my soul apart
and no one but you
believes the truth
that is written in our hearts
I can't bear to think of anything
for EVERYTHING carries your voice
I want to wake up and find it a dream
but now I have no choice
I want to end this hope
that my sadness will disappear
but I know in my Soul
I want to grow old
with you in my arms so near
These are only words from my heart to yours
desperately trying to convey
the love I will always have for you
and the way I feel today
No I will never forget
I cannot bury feelings that remain
I just want something to wake up my Soul
and relinquish me from this pain
There's no way to end these thoughts
I will forever continue to try
to imagine us on the steps looking up
under the night's starry sky
Wanting is just not enough
but I bow my head silently
Please hear every whisper from me to you
and sometimes remember me
What It Means To Say Goodbye
It's not that I think otherwise
you didn't fill my heart with lies
I just can't bear to think it's done
I want to stay with you not run
It wasn't ever meant to be
I wonder what she thinks of me
Had no intentions to pull you away
from the world you know and love today
I wanted to let her know it is real
the way I shared and what I feel
She understands my heart is true
because she chose and loves you too
It hurts more than this world can comprehend
what it is to say goodbye...
what it means to face the end
you didn't fill my heart with lies
I just can't bear to think it's done
I want to stay with you not run
It wasn't ever meant to be
I wonder what she thinks of me
Had no intentions to pull you away
from the world you know and love today
I wanted to let her know it is real
the way I shared and what I feel
She understands my heart is true
because she chose and loves you too
It hurts more than this world can comprehend
what it is to say goodbye...
what it means to face the end
Silent Lyrics
I burned my memories of us today
I hope you destroy yours too
The tragedy is I can't erase my life
but everything reminds me of you
It tore our soul in half
left love in an abyss of pain
The lyrics are silent
Those notes are all wrong
and I am empty once again
You'll never really know
how deep my feelings are for you
the horrifying part was revealing my heart
because I thought that you felt it too
I hope you destroy yours too
The tragedy is I can't erase my life
but everything reminds me of you
It tore our soul in half
left love in an abyss of pain
The lyrics are silent
Those notes are all wrong
and I am empty once again
You'll never really know
how deep my feelings are for you
the horrifying part was revealing my heart
because I thought that you felt it too
Stilled
Like trudging through quicksand frozen in time
Or searching for a treasure filled with space
My will has been defeated, redefined
I reconstruct my tears from endless grace
Self pity and false pride will not defer
Your losses to your hopeless, faithless fear
But leaving me will leave you to concur
With feelings taught to you over the years
You take no actions to reach for my hand
Choosing to selfishly break no one's fall
Stepping upon my heartache as I land,
You never understood my love at all
I walk into the quicksand on my own
Unaware that you will never come home
Or searching for a treasure filled with space
My will has been defeated, redefined
I reconstruct my tears from endless grace
Self pity and false pride will not defer
Your losses to your hopeless, faithless fear
But leaving me will leave you to concur
With feelings taught to you over the years
You take no actions to reach for my hand
Choosing to selfishly break no one's fall
Stepping upon my heartache as I land,
You never understood my love at all
I walk into the quicksand on my own
Unaware that you will never come home
How To Kill A Life
The voices in my head
are deafening but clear
No one will miss you
you are wasting your tears
And those years that you gave
will all be forgotten
Like the core of an apple
that's molded and rotting
Upon the cold, frozen ground
that hasn't been mown
Brown, overgrown weeds
have made it their home
Like anyone would love you
what do you have to give
Frustration? Confusion?
Your faith leaks like a sieve
Watch it spill quickly
like blood onto the floor
from a murder victim
gunned down at the door
of the house she returned to
at the end of a long day
with love in her arms
and so much to say about life
Just take the knife and peel the skin
that covers your desire
that masks your sins
Pierce the soul slowly
digging as deep as you can
Let the pain consume your heart
even if you can't stand the sigh
of your silence bleeding out
leaving your heart to die cold
Don't skip the past
just because the wounds are old
They should be the last to remember
though closest to your heart
Go for new flesh --it's tender
and easier to scar...
No one will miss your happiness
as false as it betrayed
Listen to the voices:
Love isn't here
And he doesn't wantyou to stay
are deafening but clear
No one will miss you
you are wasting your tears
And those years that you gave
will all be forgotten
Like the core of an apple
that's molded and rotting
Upon the cold, frozen ground
that hasn't been mown
Brown, overgrown weeds
have made it their home
Like anyone would love you
what do you have to give
Frustration? Confusion?
Your faith leaks like a sieve
Watch it spill quickly
like blood onto the floor
from a murder victim
gunned down at the door
of the house she returned to
at the end of a long day
with love in her arms
and so much to say about life
Just take the knife and peel the skin
that covers your desire
that masks your sins
Pierce the soul slowly
digging as deep as you can
Let the pain consume your heart
even if you can't stand the sigh
of your silence bleeding out
leaving your heart to die cold
Don't skip the past
just because the wounds are old
They should be the last to remember
though closest to your heart
Go for new flesh --it's tender
and easier to scar...
No one will miss your happiness
as false as it betrayed
Listen to the voices:
Love isn't here
And he doesn't want
Monday, January 21, 2008
Blogroll
Very rarely do I break my silence. I was adding your names to my distro list for notification of the changes and upcoming sonnet contest on (shameless plug and proud editor for) http://sonnetwriters.com. It warmed my heart to see the same loyal names on my blogroll and comments. So a less than silent thank you to all of you. You mean so much to me and my writing. Note the change. Not a blogroll. Friends.
Thank you.
Ali
Thank you.
Ali
Meaningful
Mommy showed me the great big world today
We walked hand in hand; the rain disappeared
I caught a butterfly that wouldn't stay
Was that the real reason for mommy's tears?
The sun was hidden behind her blue eyes
As she held out my hand for me to feel
Flowers on a tree, and birds in the sky
This is how, she said, you know something's real
When you can feel its warmth and hear its breath
Even when time won't allow it to be
When you can watch it grow, and take each step
To become something meaningful, you see?
When Mommy shows me such beauty in life
I wonder why you aren't here by our side
We walked hand in hand; the rain disappeared
I caught a butterfly that wouldn't stay
Was that the real reason for mommy's tears?
The sun was hidden behind her blue eyes
As she held out my hand for me to feel
Flowers on a tree, and birds in the sky
This is how, she said, you know something's real
When you can feel its warmth and hear its breath
Even when time won't allow it to be
When you can watch it grow, and take each step
To become something meaningful, you see?
When Mommy shows me such beauty in life
I wonder why you aren't here by our side
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Dolphins
Unsure, uncertain as I watch them swim
Under and over through circles of light
Clear waters invite my mind to dive in
No pause to enjoy this beautiful sight
You whisper to me it will be okay
Releasing my fear to take the first step
Their bodies glide faster than mine today
But I fly past the feelings I have left
Upon hidden shores where no one will go
Near places I wandered too far, too fast
My hands to start to slip and the dolphins know
To be patient while I tighten my grasp
Speed, sound and danger vibrate through my mind
I'll remember to hold my breath next time
Under and over through circles of light
Clear waters invite my mind to dive in
No pause to enjoy this beautiful sight
You whisper to me it will be okay
Releasing my fear to take the first step
Their bodies glide faster than mine today
But I fly past the feelings I have left
Upon hidden shores where no one will go
Near places I wandered too far, too fast
My hands to start to slip and the dolphins know
To be patient while I tighten my grasp
Speed, sound and danger vibrate through my mind
I'll remember to hold my breath next time
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
After Dinner
A sunset long past, and dinner away
We slowly walk toward a dark private room
I kiss you --oh, how I've missed you today!
Your eyes bring smiles to the lips of the moon
Our shadows combine from two into one
Our perfect rhythm --such sweet harmony
Our touching, exploring brings us back home
Our softness, our roughness; pure ecstasy
As midnight moons pass, my strength becomes weak
You've taken my body for your pleasure
Gently I collapse, without words to speak
You promise me we will be together
This past memory will not fade away
I miss your touch more than I can convey
We slowly walk toward a dark private room
I kiss you --oh, how I've missed you today!
Your eyes bring smiles to the lips of the moon
Our shadows combine from two into one
Our perfect rhythm --such sweet harmony
Our touching, exploring brings us back home
Our softness, our roughness; pure ecstasy
As midnight moons pass, my strength becomes weak
You've taken my body for your pleasure
Gently I collapse, without words to speak
You promise me we will be together
This past memory will not fade away
I miss your touch more than I can convey
Holding onto Hope
Was it just a dream when you spoke my name
With the soft, tender voice that I once knew?
My heart warmed its beats to a hundred shades
Of pure desire to be next to you
When I heard you whisper into my ear
My lips smiled a yearning to taste your kiss
If I turn around will I find you here
Touching my skin -- do you remember this?
I'm missing it more than you know tonight
Memories are not enough anymore
But deep insecurities must take flight
If I am to find myself at your door
We've made love and life from pure fantasy
Hold onto our hope for proximity
With the soft, tender voice that I once knew?
My heart warmed its beats to a hundred shades
Of pure desire to be next to you
When I heard you whisper into my ear
My lips smiled a yearning to taste your kiss
If I turn around will I find you here
Touching my skin -- do you remember this?
I'm missing it more than you know tonight
Memories are not enough anymore
But deep insecurities must take flight
If I am to find myself at your door
We've made love and life from pure fantasy
Hold onto our hope for proximity
Friday, January 4, 2008
Burned --Out
Lips sweetened with passion
from such a long time ago
whisper cautious warnings
about the history I know
When New Year's lights brightened
I hoped for a second too soon
that something sleeping deeper
would finally start to bloom
Now sipping from reality
an awkward bumbling cup
my frosted lips feel burned
by the fiery taste of love
I drop the delicate china
reacting to the pain
remembering that each year
has always been the same
I clean up the puddle around me
place a cool cloth on my mouth
lean over the flickering candle
and blow love out
from such a long time ago
whisper cautious warnings
about the history I know
When New Year's lights brightened
I hoped for a second too soon
that something sleeping deeper
would finally start to bloom
Now sipping from reality
an awkward bumbling cup
my frosted lips feel burned
by the fiery taste of love
I drop the delicate china
reacting to the pain
remembering that each year
has always been the same
I clean up the puddle around me
place a cool cloth on my mouth
lean over the flickering candle
and blow love out
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)