Therapy

It started out as conversations will
some details shared, lost memories revealed
Just looking for forgiveness and to fill
infinite breaks my heart can't seem to heal
Those blessed waters that replenish faith
cover my body, soul and broken mind
Refreshing tears...no...more like tidal waves
drown all of my mistakes but leave behind
A place of solitude with one stranger
Confusing crossroads and revelations
A calm voice turns me away from danger -
verbally leading me to salvation
The voice that whispers "you'll never be seen..."
is the opposite of who's guiding me

Morgue

Faces and places consume my reprieve
The moon screams an apocalyptic glow
Pin pricked by pain my heart leaks like a sieve
Into false waters and darkness below
There lies an untruth in each of your words
You refuse to speak when I crave it most
Losing the sky like a broken winged bird
Attempting to talk through a clouded host
I crash land alone into lost memories
The rain becomes jealous of each tear shed
Dropping my heart onto cold, wet, concrete.
Gasping for love -- its reached terminal death
The horror will dry and my heart will shrink
Embalmed in loneliness -- frozen reprieve.

Paradeaux

It's not about the flowers --
they're as beautiful and bright as can be
But the longing I feel
staring at an empty chair
and the unfinished cup of tea.

I see you in the music
when I'm searching for tranquility
But the sadness seeps in
my desire still burns
I miss you touching me...

There's a hidden door of truth
where my hopes and fears combine
A shadow stirs pain
deep scars plague my heart
Will they ever fade with time?

It's not about our time lost
or some impossible possibility
But the lonely view
of a life without us
and the unwritten symphony.

Karma

You son of a bitch
taking him away
to the lies and deception
you introduced that day!
Why can't you just be a real friend
and keep the lone wolf cravings at bay?
I hope fate cashes in
when true love finally looks your way
and you lose someone to drugs
like I just did today

You son of a bitch
promising not to leave me --
then sneaking away again
pretending not to decieve me
Insulting me to the core
not bothering to retrieve me
by asking total forgiveness
for the lies you told to mislead me
and now I have nothing
but six broken hearts that are bleeding

Splinters

Don't say I love you
as you're walking out the door
Those words mean nothing to me
I don't believe you anymore
You whispered them into my ear
when we were fucking on the floor
So don't say I love you
as you're walking out the door

Don't say I miss you
five years or days from now
You'll break my heart into pieces
that should be your vow
Not promises that fade
"I'm ready to move forward now..."
Don't say I miss you
five years or days from now

Don't say I'm sorry
for all the pain you caused
The selfish beast you claim to have tamed
has drawn its bloody claws
And all that's left is shreds of me
splintering in the pause
Don't say I'm sorry
for all the pain you caused

Don't say anything
you're good at doing this
Don't say goodbye
or leave me with a kiss

I always stood by your side
through all of the fucking bullshit
Just walk out of the door
and forget all of it

Insult

You don't work
Therefore the money isn't yours
I don't think you could have insulted me more!
Add up every last thing
I've bought since we met
Sell each one at full price
or one hundred dollars more
and I swear to you -- I bet
you could never afford
to pay what I'm worth
or hire me --that's for sure
Priceless is my paycheck
for all of my hard work
My ego has been hurt
self dignity on the floor
Sometimes your mean spirit
is too much for me to endure
You don't work
Therefore the money isn't yours...

Dr. Zeus

Gather around everybody
I've got such a wonderful treat!
Dr. Zeus is in the house
quickly grab any seat!
This story stars our usual
unsuspecting Princess Peach
who unfortunately trusts
every villain she meets.
The scene was set years ago
on a bright and sunny day
watching the children happily
run, splash and play
Fast forward past that
I don't want to delay
why she's hurting, crying again
on her pillow this way
He met the criteria
of a best forever friend
someone to grow old with
until the very end
And then maybe past the end
it depended on the weather
that would eventually destroy
their chance of being together...
The eye of the storm
Hurricane Anthony appeared
Don't let go of my hand!
She cried, begged and feared
the worst would happen -- and it did-- sweet, smart girl
He DID let go of her hand
and the excuses began to swirl....
I was tired
Couldn't find it
uncharged, dead and spent
You always accuse me anyway
so I just left and went
for awhile
for a week
needed space, balance and time
It's working for ME
Don't you see?
I feel ready and primed
But what about our plans?
She inquired --and rightfully so
I don't want to live there
or breathe there
Um...I'll let you know...
What about always and forever or--
"I'll never do it again"
That was then
this is now Mama
(Does anyone see a trend?)
I'm alone
I'm bi polar
I'm whatever I am
But I know you'll be there
whenever I demand
food, shelter or clothing
Mama, I'm so sick today
(Do you see how her heart melts
even being treated this way?)
I need water
I need medicine
I need a new phone, computer -- oh wait!
I'm feeling dark and gloomy
Just leave -- and shut the damn gate!
I won't call you for weeks
days and nights at a time
While you sit, sleepless hours
composing Dr. Zeus Rhymes
Mama...Relax.  I love you.
It's not you it's just me
but I'm not ready to talk
But please just trust me
That's what I've been doing
all these years for you
honestly, faithfully
What more can I do?!?
I said unconditionally!
Silence. Only silence.
Selfish silence once more
She sighed, cried and slept
Not wanting to be here anymore
A small flutter from within
followed by a powerful kick
brought her back to reality
Screaming --this is RIDICULOUS!
It's a partnership not a dictatorship
or a communist plot
Love is priceless and rare
It can never be bought
or sold, borrowed or traded
for hypocrites and liars
Her eyes red with salt
reignited with fire
Her belly groaned a little
sounding more like a roar
I don't have to pack a bag
when he shows me the door
I have rights and I vow
not to take this hurt anymore!
One phone call from a friend
thirty minutes or less
She remembered who she was
She deserves only the best
Forget the pain and the double standard
Life is on the way!
How dare you treat me like this
then ask to stay and play?
I've cried so many tears
I can barely breathe
You lied, cheated and stole
You took my heart from me!
And you didn't have to
I had already given it to you for free
Dr. Zeus Rhymes once taught me
when I was small and innocent
Bad people and bad choices
would be certain, imminent
danger would lurk
Protect your heart
Sprint don't run
to the nearest Ocean
Find your comfort in the Son
And that horrible monster
Selfish, immature, greedy one
Stand your ground
Didn't you learn from your accidents
Who can hurt you?
No one
There's no moral to the tale
of giving your heart away
or having it be stolen
in a sociopath's game
You can't love a psycho
who refuses to admit
He's not tired, sick or confused
He's just a selfish di...
Did you hear me this time?
Did I stutter?
I said hold your head up high!
Let the weeds pull him down
You didn't fail because you tried!
Hurricane Anthony will blow and damage
your home with permanent smoke
But you know the precious meaning of life
and that loving someone is no joke
Life is a mix of choices
some right most of them wrong
but you dance through the joy of learning
retrace steps with the saddest of songs
What will you do Princess Peach
What do you think darling girl?
What do you decide?
Support and defend?
Like a clam does his pearl?
Support the Constitution of Love!
Or balk at the past
and swallow your pride
We'll see next week
when our heroine
encounters loneliness
will she again let him inside....
Thank you for listening to the story
Dr. Zeus has some bolts and clouds to send
to the eye of Hurricane Anthony
who seems to have surfaced again...

Nothingness

Oh my GOD!  He exclaimed
What WAS that horrible sound?
That's the sound of my heart being dragged across the ground
He looked down
And why are my hands scratched?  Full of rocks and debris?
What happened?
An accident...she said softly
Why is there blood  all over my fingers?
She paused uneasily...started to speak...then lingered
Looking back over her shoulder with a smile too thin
she surveyed the horror scene caused by him
Her trust had been torn from her love and truth
Her happiness was knocked from her dreams and youth
Her hope had been shattered into a million deaths
and her heart --well her heart had disintegrated
into complete nothingness

The Simple Truth

Secrets unfolded from hundreds of lies
lining the years I would have to deny
to make sense of the reasons -- why even try?
Just count the treasons he committed that night...

Lies became secrets numbering the years
Devoting my nights to hundreds of tears
Unable to justify the root of my fears
Although his deception was perfectly clear...
Remembering his final goodbye...

So selfish and insincere

Tarnished

Simply forgotten? Written off your page?
Beauty and friendship disappeared somehow?
Wiped clean from memories that we once made?
Our past some stale mockery of a vow --
"To love, forever cherish --come what May"
Mmmm. What you said I once believed was true
Until I could no longer hide the stains
of bloody hope from always loving you...
Do not exist in me you wretched girl!
Betrayed by you, time and faux promises!
Hurled towards the ocean deep, my Tarnished Pearl
clamped firmly in your dreams you witness this:
I toss you into black infinity
with all the life and love you took from me!

Deoxygenated

The air in my lungs
that helps me run this marathon
the oxygen I desperately need
has been cut off ----
idefinitely --
while you hide ---
and deceive
It..
hurts..
to..
breathe.
And my legs buckling
as if missing their knees
entangled in the lies
of some marionette's twisted strings
won't stand tall
or let me run free
back to your arms
where I can finally breathe

Hallow

Something wicked this way came
on a darkened sister's Hallow's Eve
But led me to an interesting game
which taught me to believe
that where the truth lies
inside of those words
of pure dishonesty
is buried below
the unwritten books
on how one can deceive

Someone wonderful followed suit
and once crossed o'er the threshold
Into my arms love came to me
and kept me in a chokehold
For years and some I played his game
of love, leave and try again
But through each selfish
silent reprieve
I couldn't avoid the end

Now back at home
my mind can't rest
on every word you never say
Cruel lies intensify
your herbal breath
my hope just fades away

Disadvantageous

Deception is a dangerous game
it leaves me feeling disadvantageous
against the strength of well told lies
My hope is fading -- less courageous
to stand for what I know is right
to protect our love is in vain
Deception is an unfair fight
and starts with every letter of your name

Scarce

I'm safe in here
inside of my words
the only place I'm allowed
My emotions and feelings
are deemed absurd
and tend to draw a crowd.
But the sadness I hold
deep within
is growing every day
My poetry is now my only friend
since you went away
Conversations before my eyes
take a number, wait patiently
No wireless proxy will suffice
amid ignored, vibrating insensitivity
And the technology you despise so vehemently
is only when it's coming from me

Weed

Gripping his thick stem
the soul of the sin
I tug and pull with no relief
One day I will dig deeper
to find the root's end
and kill this destructive weed
But something has weakened -
much to my contempt
I ignore this rampant disease

The Doormat

Wipe, wipe, wipe
Stomp!
Wipe, wipe, wipe
Stomp!
Wipe, mud
Wipe, dirt
Wipe, filth
Wipe, worth
Wipe, wipe, wipe
Clean