Kidney

An organ that functions
without its other half,
an overlooked piece
of a blackened polygraph.
Straight lines turned to lies
and were carried away
while the tissues rotted
full of decay
Dehydrated prayers
now hooked to machines,
and artificial hope
keeps one functioning
until it gives way to the internal bleeding
no one considers -
no one even sees.

May

I call upon the Sixth of May once more
somehow, someway to energize my trust
Just make me feel the love I felt before
I was drained by your absolute silence
This tinted, tarnished steel covered in rust
from crying salt stained tears on metal doors
which used to bridge the emptiness in us
lies broken, crushed in anger on the floor
That special moment when we shared a vow
to love within our hearts and nothing less
Whispered words: someway, somewhere, somehow
became our path of love and happiness
I need the Sixth of May to redirect
my disconnected soul from your neglect

Zen

I traced the words around the page again
my fingers touching every noun and verb
It brought me to my favorite place of zen
You just don't know the power of your words
How every note and song reverberates
inside my soul, within my heart and mind
Reminding me of plans that we would make
and how we danced inside a perfect rhyme
I followed every tear, each memory
and found that some were better left alone
But finally, I rested on the scene
Where you walked in and I embraced you home...
I know I am out of your mind and sight
but your words gave me such comfort tonight

Intruder

My head was a siren
and my heart cried "Hurt!"
repeating the warning
"Intruder alert!"

Insight

Truth and deception
fought blind again tonight
How childish are they
when they both need sight

Butterfly

Come lay with me
inside a cocoon of comfort
Dream me into a patience
of  brilliant colored wings and change
Then fly with my freedom
whispered softly by my side
where my memories of forever
constantly remain

Crumbs

I hold in my hands
Your dark and ravenous
As tiny crumbs of hope
fall between the cracks
disappearing onto the fingers
Of a praying shadow

In Between

Standing
in between
feels like waiting
for the guillotine
to come down
repeatedly
in slow motion
This terror that I feel
makes the hoping
too surreal
and my heart must
must void itself
protect my life
from emotions

Bridge

Long distance miles
don't separate
the bonds of mother and child
they only generate
an appreciation
for the time well spent
during tea time and nap time
Our conversation
is the bridge between
mother and daughter's hearts
held tightly by the love
I always feel when we're apart

For My Mother Mother's Day 2010

Awake

Within this silent dreamworld I reside
my body pained, but never giving up;
bright lights and sounds resound beneath my eyes.
My skin feels torn, my bones a little rough --
cracked, broken from the impact of the car
into myself and fate's powerful hand
It feels as if I'm traveling too far...
I strain to obey each of their commands.
I've done it! Lifted all my fingers --see?
Squeezing their hands will let them know I'm here
Tempted to stay inside eternity,
I run back to the voices that are near.
Awake at last I'm home with love and light
inside of me because I chose to fight

For TSE

Five Miles

I ran five miles at sunset for the view
and let the memories comfort my mind
Though faraway you slept, or dreamed or knew
that I was simply going back in time
to soft mornings with bird's songs and light rain
simple meals at cafes that once were
A safety zone from future tears and pain
but like the roads I pass, they are now blurred
Our hearts continue beating loud and strong
despite the unexpected bend or break
Perhaps we wait for change for far too long
and find that we have made a deal with fate
To run five miles at sunrise could rewind
the hurt, regrets, the loss of precious time

Weed

Gripping his thick stem
the soul of the sin
I tug and pull with no relief
One day I will dig deeper
to find the root's end
and kill this destructive weed
But something has weakened -
much to my contempt
I ignore this rampant disease

Three

It can't be love
when your job takes the place
of the heart that follows
and the only thirst quencher tastes
of the pride and tears you swallow
as you constantly tolerate
the empty hollow
of one silent sigh

There is no competition
because you are free
you are starting over
you are not me
There is no resolution
to what needs to be
so I become the silhouette
of the next - Number Three

I want to be the island
that disappeared at last
be swallowed by the waters
I once lived on in the past
feel the cool upon my earth
once scorched beneath the sun
and be remembered for nothing but
a place that meant
something to no one

Undone

I don't have a family anymore
past judgments and conversations
white lies creeping on the floor
Cutting murderous accusations
splatter across a door
that once remained open;
nevermore

Don't lie to or about me
you see
that which you proclaim
of mine to be so false
is your own insecurity
Don't fool yourself
into thinking I created this mess
you are the creator
of all that you will never confess

In your vain attempts
to be unlike her
you chastise me
for what you were
In your self righteous mind
you choose to ignore
reality;
You are not my family anymore

Patterns

Fear is my motivator
but I dare not speak
a silent dark instigator
of patterned deceit
leaving charcoal fingerprints
and a worried retreat
perhaps only in my mind
or a realistic scene
I pause...

at the sound...

of a distant warning.

Judgmental

Talk to me
before you speak
about the details of my life
that you perceive
to be riddled with strife
and little relief
instead of how much
they really mean to me
Walk with the man
who hangs around your neck
on crossed reminder
of what you seem to forget
when you chastise me
with your not so subtle sighs
as I soothe the sounds
of my precious five
Talk to me first
before you assume
with your judgmental comments
because I am not you

Curious

I'd like to forget them
but it's doesn't work like that
These questions are forming
fears that I never had
I'd like to renew us
and start from the first step
since running will kill me
along with my regrets
But all of my attempts
bring me down to my face
They taste like sharp gravel
and misty eyed haste
I'd like to forget them
the numbers and names
but fear's curiosity 
will cause me more pain

Misunderstood

Love came to me
innocent and smiles
so full of hope
but little wisdom
Safe in my dreams
faith like a child's
Love spoke too softy
I didn't listen
Love whispered
to my deafening soul
you will have great memories
But I realize now, as I grow old
he actually said
you will break from misery

Backwards

I wanted to be born
at another time
when Elizabeth Browning
was so moved by rhymes
from her lover's kiss
with her thoughts entwined
around their private bliss
This should have been mine

I wanted my eyes
to glance longingly
upon my pride's own match
mirrored in Mr. Darcy
Oh to feel that moment
when he declared his heart
no longer in torment
or fear that we would part

Dear Emma and John
two best friends for life:
one proposed as her husband
one promised as his wife

I wanted to be born
at another time
when I could be yours
and you could be mine

Sunset

How suddenly
in an instant
can words resurface between
my past, present and future hope
of every dying dream...
Will whispers, promises and a distant kiss
satisfy what you really need...
Wardrobed in particles of setting sunlight
along a darkened stream