Feather

I watched the small feather fall to the ground.
It seemed quite confused, unable to land
in the perfect place where it could be found,
carried delicately by someone's hand.
Then turned my attention to six children
listened intently about bosses, games
characters, scores and strategies to win.
Backed out the car and we were on our way,
the fallen feather watched me slowly drive
down the long street until I disappeared,
curled into itself, attempting to hide
how alone it felt in the grassy field;
I composed this song from a fleeting thought;
a metaphor for the love I have lost

May

I call upon the Sixth of May once more
somehow, someway to energize my trust
Just make me feel the love I felt before
I was drained by your absolute silence
This tinted, tarnished steel covered in rust
from crying salt stained tears on metal doors
which used to bridge the emptiness in us
lies broken, crushed in anger on the floor
That special moment when we shared a vow
to love within our hearts and nothing less
Whispered words: someway, somewhere, somehow
became our path of love and happiness
I need the Sixth of May to redirect
my disconnected soul from your neglect

Morgue

Faces and places consume my reprieve
The moon screams an apocalyptic glow
Pin pricked by pain my heart leaks like a sieve
Into false waters and darkness below
There lies an untruth in each of your words
You refuse to speak when I crave it most
Losing the sky like a broken winged bird
Attempting to talk through a clouded host
I crash land alone into lost memories
The rain becomes jealous of each tear shed
Dropping my heart onto cold, wet, concrete.
Gasping for love -- its reached terminal death
The horror will dry and my heart will shrink
Embalmed in loneliness -- frozen reprieve.

Paradeaux

It's not about the flowers --
they're as beautiful and bright as can be
But the longing I feel
staring at an empty chair
and the unfinished cup of tea.

I see you in the music
when I'm searching for tranquility
But the sadness seeps in
my desire still burns
I miss you touching me...

There's a hidden door of truth
where my hopes and fears combine
A shadow stirs pain
deep scars plague my heart
Will they ever fade with time?

It's not about our time lost
or some impossible possibility
But the lonely view
of a life without us
and the unwritten symphony.

Reverie

God whispers to me so I can withstand
the reality that I cannot bear;
Missing your laughter, the touch of your hand,
our simple togetherness we once shared.
But something intrudes and makes me feel cold
A powerful force attempting to pull
me back from my prayer that we will grow old
together. Doubts leave me less than hopeful.
The night's icy air surrounds me but still
the wind's a vessel of your voice to me:
"I'm right here, love. Feel warmth inside the chill
Breathe the sigh between us -- our reverie."
No man, or vain tempest can interfere
with God's whisper that keeps you here.

Loop

I love how everything leads back to you

from a distant star to the falling rain.

And I always know when the day is through,

I'll be close to you in my dreams again.

I'm thankful for deep dreams and poetry -

my portals to enter your private thoughts.

Are we planets lined in asymmetry

twisting ourselves into a lover's knot?

When the sun sets tonight will it reflect

another path to take me to your door?

Will the moon cast a shadow of regret?

My eyes gaze upon where I've been before...

Mercury jumps through an infinite loop

to reveal everything that leads to you

Pink

My heart can't find the words to express
my overwhelming joy and happiness
I keep waiting for the perfect inspiration to write
but it came to me while looking into your eyes tonight
Though you deserve something more profound and deep
these words are only yours to hear and keep:
I know we will hit the crossroads someday
where you take what you've learned and go away
But in the quiet of this moment I whisper with a kiss
My world is complete now that you exist

*Dedicated to my daughter

Zen

I traced the words around the page again
my fingers touching every noun and verb
It brought me to my favorite place of zen
You just don't know the power of your words
How every note and song reverberates
inside my soul, within my heart and mind
Reminding me of plans that we would make
and how we danced inside a perfect rhyme
I followed every tear, each memory
and found that some were better left alone
But finally, I rested on the scene
Where you walked in and I embraced you home...
I know I am out of your mind and sight
but your words gave me such comfort tonight

Regift

Am I finally learning how to cope
keeping busy while you "balance and break?"
Perhaps, I'm simply a pathetic joke
and can't admit it's more than I can take.
Silence is the stab wound I know too well
murdering my condfidence.  And each day
that passes into night, my private Hell
becomes the moment that you went away.
My head and heart cry out "You've been betrayed!"
Just like the movie when she can't let go
"God?  Please regift me strength to walk away..."
The love is gone when you can cry no more
Tears for what you trusted to come true
Tears for pretending he'd never hurt you

Dedication

My heart knows you've found love and peace
a genuine happiness overwhelms me
I'm happy for you seems so cliche
to say the least
but I really am overjoyed
For the high prices you paid
that you have found your heart's best friend
who will be with you in body, mind, spirit and more...
until the very end

Tarnished

Simply forgotten? Written off your page?
Beauty and friendship disappeared somehow?
Wiped clean from memories that we once made?
Our past some stale mockery of a vow --
"To love, forever cherish --come what May"
Mmmm. What you said I once believed was true
Until I could no longer hide the stains
of bloody hope from always loving you...
Do not exist in me you wretched girl!
Betrayed by you, time and faux promises!
Hurled towards the ocean deep, my Tarnished Pearl
clamped firmly in your dreams you witness this:
I toss you into black infinity
with all the life and love you took from me!

Afterness

His hands and feet are yours, his heart is mine;
The way he moves his words and thoughts around
Deep eyes reflecting life and love combined
distracting regrets we can't turn around
Poetic puzzles dance around his world
I watch the shapes and colors come alive
His universe abounds with rainbow swirls
before the rain appears and tears collide
He's always had the light inside of him
Perfected curiosity his goal
A voice resembling you and me within
guides softly as the Grand Design unfolds
Will you forget his genuine laughter
while you live happily ever after?

Ink

I'm proud of you and everything you'll be
red lines -- their names--  were whipped upon your back
But through my love I hope that you can see
one name that still remains written in black
Scratch out the past, the people who still try
to deceive you, confuse you, bring you down
Move forward love, not even asking why
slip past their grip, and leave without a sound
The future is your book, so write a page,
a chapter each day, a story of love
A pen will replace the sword used to slay
your confidence; now draw what you deserve
If you lose sight of what you need to do,
just retrace the name inked on your tattoo

Dawn

Just as dawn makes her way
past the morning dove's song
this soft, gentle rain begins to fade
My soul stands at the window
looking out past the light
feeling too far away
Left hand to the glass
my breathing still as death
daring to touch your heartbeat
From a thousand miles away
while you sleep unaware
playing your dreams on repeat
I close my eyes tightly
giving into my solitude
and reach across space and time
to hear your quiet
to touch your skin
determined to see a sign
Just as dawn makes her way
past your deep and dreamfilled sleep...
I swear I can hear you sigh

Orbit

Stars and galaxies
spinning inside of my heart
Passing gravities
unlocked in the dark
Intensified fires
between space and light
Supernovas igniting
when I kiss you tonight...

Overwhelmed

Ancient trees bend and sway
and proudly lead the way
to my resting place of inner peace and balance
Calming my tired, restless soul
burying the dangerous, senseless fear
that threatened my gentle heart with lies and malice
My fingers split the water
rippling hope and spots of joy
clearing the conscience for the endless skies above
Ancient trees sway and bend
and gently show me the end
to the right of calm, to the center of your love

Heart

The loving, patient heart
is a complicated part
of our soul
so strong yet fragile in faith
It unfolds, breaks
repairs, then repeats
its "shatter into millions of pieces" fate
Soon, you have nothing left
but dust, wind and sorrow: 
only so much one heart can take

Tangible

It's the I love  you

that I miss the most

a simple text, a quiet post

to remind me your heart

is really as close

as my love for you inside of mine

It's the sound of your voice

I have to hear

like tangible happiness

poured into my ear

lifting my spirits

bringing you near

a symphonic lullabye combined

I feel you and hear you

more than before

a sigh, a sneeze

even a groan

but what I really need

can never be shown

unless you're looking into my eyes..

Reconciliation

i used to think the words were all for me
the notes you played in poetry and rhyme
would soothe my doubts and I hoped secretly
those songs would last much longer than the lies
that once escaped those lips so easily
I grieved the death of love buried in fear
of who you are or were or need to be
while gasping for a smothered breath of air
her face, their smiles and all I'll never know
the candles glowing softly shadowed sin
the whispered words recomplicate my woe
abandoned first. I still can't let you in
Be angry but be gentle with my heart
your choice was the silence that broke my heart

Bridge

Long distance miles
don't separate
the bonds of mother and child
they only generate
an appreciation
for the time well spent
during tea time and nap time
Our conversation
is the bridge between
mother and daughter's hearts
held tightly by the love
I always feel when we're apart

For My Mother Mother's Day 2010