Transference

The subtle,
sensual,
secret transition
from indefinitely drawn...
to irreparably doomed

Therapy

It started out as conversations will
some details shared, lost memories revealed
Just looking for forgiveness and to fill
infinite breaks my heart can't seem to heal
Those blessed waters that replenish faith
cover my body, soul and broken mind
Refreshing tears...no...more like tidal waves
drown all of my mistakes but leave behind
A place of solitude with one stranger
Confusing crossroads and revelations
A calm voice turns me away from danger -
verbally leading me to salvation
The voice that whispers "you'll never be seen..."
is the opposite of who's guiding me

Resist

Rebel against my struggling heart's content!
Resist temptation of your loving smile!
I don't forgive what you cannot repent --
in excess of a trillion missing miles.
The risk of looking up to hope again
with puzzles and pyschosis upside down
Relenting to my God who always wins
a restlesness night with blinding sight abounds
And who am I to ask for so much more
When nothing that I've given comes right back?
The barriers crash down the broken door
futility has come to me at last
Release the grip upon my broken heart
Return, my soul,  to your innocent start

Kidney

An organ that functions
without its other half,
an overlooked piece
of a blackened polygraph.
Straight lines turned to lies
and were carried away
while the tissues rotted
full of decay
Dehydrated prayers
now hooked to machines,
and artificial hope
keeps one functioning
until it gives way to the internal bleeding
no one considers -
no one even sees.

May

I call upon the Sixth of May once more
somehow, someway to energize my trust
Just make me feel the love I felt before
I was drained by your absolute silence
This tinted, tarnished steel covered in rust
from crying salt stained tears on metal doors
which used to bridge the emptiness in us
lies broken, crushed in anger on the floor
That special moment when we shared a vow
to love within our hearts and nothing less
Whispered words: someway, somewhere, somehow
became our path of love and happiness
I need the Sixth of May to redirect
my disconnected soul from your neglect

Paradeaux

It's not about the flowers --
they're as beautiful and bright as can be
But the longing I feel
staring at an empty chair
and the unfinished cup of tea.

I see you in the music
when I'm searching for tranquility
But the sadness seeps in
my desire still burns
I miss you touching me...

There's a hidden door of truth
where my hopes and fears combine
A shadow stirs pain
deep scars plague my heart
Will they ever fade with time?

It's not about our time lost
or some impossible possibility
But the lonely view
of a life without us
and the unwritten symphony.

Off-Key

Twilight. My dreams can't find the perfect tune.
I want to sing your heart to sleep again.
And even if you have to leave too soon,
my path is marked for you to come again
No, wait! It's really I who needs to hear
that calming steady heart beat in your chest!
My heart begins to break remembering
your heart's the place where all my worries nest.
My soul lifts up to nothing in the air,
looks down upon the beauty of our sleep
and the love that radiates everywhere
inside the songs and promises we keep;
I want to be inspiring to you...
Instead, my heart can't find a simple tune.

Delusion

Compromise is a bridge between soulmates
At what point do I let you win this war?
I'll lose myself in profitless roleplay
Vanishing in hope --I've been there before
Your major wrongs have become minor lies
forced to forgive you with my trusting heart
Those minor lies have become twisted ties
strong irony binds us further apart
Nightmares plague me: painted faces, thick smoke
Dead coyotes howl through long matted hair
Laughing at our dreams -- is this some cruel joke?
Your answer fuels my frigorific glare:
"...Finding myself after all of this time
The path I must walk is not ours, it's mine."

Strike

Words and tears do not break through
the searing pain that rips my heart
The only thing I need is you
and now we're just too far apart

Couldn't you hear me
soft and low
whispering, singing
please don't go...
Didn't you see me fall again?
Begging, pleading
unable to walk alone?

I did say I need you
I did say it's not fair
I'm saying it even louder now
and you are still not here

Too tired.
Too stressed.
Scared?  Who knows why?
I have told you what I need.
Are you ever going to try?

Or am I destined to end each day
with a lonely...
defeated...
muted...
sigh

Extinguished

I lost my spark that lived within your songs
the ones you sang to me and those silent
syllables prouncing the right and wrong
dismissed by years of non verbal violence
The poetic lantern to guide me home
extinguished itself the moment you left
You returned for a night to scold and scorn
the pent up anger and sadness I kept
hidden from myself, the world and from you
Convincing my heart it would somehow work
out if you could see from a different view,
Praying you would decide never to hurt
me, you would love me and want me to stay
here without the one that pulled you away

Six

You spoke with your cries
at first
looking down at your hands
shortly after discovering you had them
proclaiming a milestone
But it was your eyes
those deep, searching
blue-grey libraries of wonder
penetrating every unkown around you
like a soldier through the last gate to victory
Your mind sang and celebrated
as you learned life
determined to make each thought
a verbal memory
off all that you saw
And now...
you speak with your sighs
silent and sad
Missing something you never had
Wondering why your words
ever began at all

Insult

You don't work
Therefore the money isn't yours
I don't think you could have insulted me more!
Add up every last thing
I've bought since we met
Sell each one at full price
or one hundred dollars more
and I swear to you -- I bet
you could never afford
to pay what I'm worth
or hire me --that's for sure
Priceless is my paycheck
for all of my hard work
My ego has been hurt
self dignity on the floor
Sometimes your mean spirit
is too much for me to endure
You don't work
Therefore the money isn't yours...

Hiding

I swept the floors from front to back again
the dust and dirt were clinging to the cracks
But stubbornly I redirected them
into a waiting pan beside the trash
I swear I heard them screaming, protesting
they had a right to be there just because
life becomes disorganized, disgusting
so they find refuge underneath the rug
It's not their fault for hoping, lingering
cloaked beneath secret yarns no one will see
until I show up and sleepless, stumbling
uncovering their true identity
They hide out in an unsafe place with hope
But I can see them in between thick ropes

Dr. Zeus

Gather around everybody
I've got such a wonderful treat!
Dr. Zeus is in the house
quickly grab any seat!
This story stars our usual
unsuspecting Princess Peach
who unfortunately trusts
every villain she meets.
The scene was set years ago
on a bright and sunny day
watching the children happily
run, splash and play
Fast forward past that
I don't want to delay
why she's hurting, crying again
on her pillow this way
He met the criteria
of a best forever friend
someone to grow old with
until the very end
And then maybe past the end
it depended on the weather
that would eventually destroy
their chance of being together...
The eye of the storm
Hurricane Anthony appeared
Don't let go of my hand!
She cried, begged and feared
the worst would happen -- and it did-- sweet, smart girl
He DID let go of her hand
and the excuses began to swirl....
I was tired
Couldn't find it
uncharged, dead and spent
You always accuse me anyway
so I just left and went
for awhile
for a week
needed space, balance and time
It's working for ME
Don't you see?
I feel ready and primed
But what about our plans?
She inquired --and rightfully so
I don't want to live there
or breathe there
Um...I'll let you know...
What about always and forever or--
"I'll never do it again"
That was then
this is now Mama
(Does anyone see a trend?)
I'm alone
I'm bi polar
I'm whatever I am
But I know you'll be there
whenever I demand
food, shelter or clothing
Mama, I'm so sick today
(Do you see how her heart melts
even being treated this way?)
I need water
I need medicine
I need a new phone, computer -- oh wait!
I'm feeling dark and gloomy
Just leave -- and shut the damn gate!
I won't call you for weeks
days and nights at a time
While you sit, sleepless hours
composing Dr. Zeus Rhymes
Mama...Relax.  I love you.
It's not you it's just me
but I'm not ready to talk
But please just trust me
That's what I've been doing
all these years for you
honestly, faithfully
What more can I do?!?
I said unconditionally!
Silence. Only silence.
Selfish silence once more
She sighed, cried and slept
Not wanting to be here anymore
A small flutter from within
followed by a powerful kick
brought her back to reality
Screaming --this is RIDICULOUS!
It's a partnership not a dictatorship
or a communist plot
Love is priceless and rare
It can never be bought
or sold, borrowed or traded
for hypocrites and liars
Her eyes red with salt
reignited with fire
Her belly groaned a little
sounding more like a roar
I don't have to pack a bag
when he shows me the door
I have rights and I vow
not to take this hurt anymore!
One phone call from a friend
thirty minutes or less
She remembered who she was
She deserves only the best
Forget the pain and the double standard
Life is on the way!
How dare you treat me like this
then ask to stay and play?
I've cried so many tears
I can barely breathe
You lied, cheated and stole
You took my heart from me!
And you didn't have to
I had already given it to you for free
Dr. Zeus Rhymes once taught me
when I was small and innocent
Bad people and bad choices
would be certain, imminent
danger would lurk
Protect your heart
Sprint don't run
to the nearest Ocean
Find your comfort in the Son
And that horrible monster
Selfish, immature, greedy one
Stand your ground
Didn't you learn from your accidents
Who can hurt you?
No one
There's no moral to the tale
of giving your heart away
or having it be stolen
in a sociopath's game
You can't love a psycho
who refuses to admit
He's not tired, sick or confused
He's just a selfish di...
Did you hear me this time?
Did I stutter?
I said hold your head up high!
Let the weeds pull him down
You didn't fail because you tried!
Hurricane Anthony will blow and damage
your home with permanent smoke
But you know the precious meaning of life
and that loving someone is no joke
Life is a mix of choices
some right most of them wrong
but you dance through the joy of learning
retrace steps with the saddest of songs
What will you do Princess Peach
What do you think darling girl?
What do you decide?
Support and defend?
Like a clam does his pearl?
Support the Constitution of Love!
Or balk at the past
and swallow your pride
We'll see next week
when our heroine
encounters loneliness
will she again let him inside....
Thank you for listening to the story
Dr. Zeus has some bolts and clouds to send
to the eye of Hurricane Anthony
who seems to have surfaced again...

Gnat

Don't you ever want to sit
and smile and reminisce
about the life born out of love
the first touch, the last kiss?
There was nothing bitter written
or said about your life
Most of my words lately
are for someone else full of cathartic spite
My friend who cannot speak right now
or even feel her heart
But of course you would think the worst of me
and aim your poisoned dart...
As if I'm not a strong woman?
facing losses you can't imagine
Accidents, deaths and heartbreaks
that you'll never even know that have happened
Since you last said nothing to me
I haven't lost my passion
or my will to live and breathe
through another painful contraction
Or my nerve to finally say
I was being one hundred percent sincere with you!
You found your soul's reprieve
You found love and peace for two
At least I shared my joy
as bittersweet as it was
At least I shared a boy
that precious gift from above
At least I included you despite
the secrets you kept from me
Now I know where I rank among your dislikes
and your long lost memory:
Some annoying gnat buzzing around your ear
forever trapped by irony

Regift

Am I finally learning how to cope
keeping busy while you "balance and break?"
Perhaps, I'm simply a pathetic joke
and can't admit it's more than I can take.
Silence is the stab wound I know too well
murdering my condfidence.  And each day
that passes into night, my private Hell
becomes the moment that you went away.
My head and heart cry out "You've been betrayed!"
Just like the movie when she can't let go
"God?  Please regift me strength to walk away..."
The love is gone when you can cry no more
Tears for what you trusted to come true
Tears for pretending he'd never hurt you

Arrow

Lies
    Eyes
        Reprise
               Tries
                    Flies...
               Spies
         Denies
    Cries
Lies

Afterness

His hands and feet are yours, his heart is mine;
The way he moves his words and thoughts around
Deep eyes reflecting life and love combined
distracting regrets we can't turn around
Poetic puzzles dance around his world
I watch the shapes and colors come alive
His universe abounds with rainbow swirls
before the rain appears and tears collide
He's always had the light inside of him
Perfected curiosity his goal
A voice resembling you and me within
guides softly as the Grand Design unfolds
Will you forget his genuine laughter
while you live happily ever after?

Dawn

Just as dawn makes her way
past the morning dove's song
this soft, gentle rain begins to fade
My soul stands at the window
looking out past the light
feeling too far away
Left hand to the glass
my breathing still as death
daring to touch your heartbeat
From a thousand miles away
while you sleep unaware
playing your dreams on repeat
I close my eyes tightly
giving into my solitude
and reach across space and time
to hear your quiet
to touch your skin
determined to see a sign
Just as dawn makes her way
past your deep and dreamfilled sleep...
I swear I can hear you sigh

Deoxygenated

The air in my lungs
that helps me run this marathon
the oxygen I desperately need
has been cut off ----
idefinitely --
while you hide ---
and deceive
It..
hurts..
to..
breathe.
And my legs buckling
as if missing their knees
entangled in the lies
of some marionette's twisted strings
won't stand tall
or let me run free
back to your arms
where I can finally breathe