Scrape

That sound at the window I know it too well
she's hungry for more of you but won't ring the bell
I hear her scraping at your door again
scratching, clawing --she wants to break in
And if you so much as peer over the ledge
she will forever remain a wedge:
Unstoppable, permanent, destructive bitch
wanting you to cure her insatiable itch
She made her choice and once chance is enough
but these aftershocks and waiting rooms are lonely and tough
like the leather on your shoes that you want to wear forever
but the next time it rains they won't outlast the weather
Her control over you is one part of love I can't give
It's fueled by selfish greed and I will not live
in fear worrying about the things I don't know
Did she contact you again? Will you stay or go?
Between our hearts and hidden caves we reside
among the special places we try to hide

And my love, I really don't understand why

between trust and truth --you still choose to lie

when I adore you so much with a love so deep

Secrets between us will definitely keep

hurting our chances of real happiness

like being free from fears and constant stress

She will find the one way through your weakening door

and I will disappear to an isolated shore

where waiting and hope are demons in company

reminding me of all that I gave you --she took from me
But I hear her pounding on the door again
She's getting louder and stronger
Please.  Do not let her in.
She's using them to hurt you
they will be fine
But you only have one life

one heart and one soul
and so little time...
I pray to God everyday
you will not let her win....
If you let your guard down even slightly
it will be the end

Critical Listening

When I tell you specifically
the deepest cravings of my soul
I am not being cryptic
It's like symmetrically lining
the last deadly kiss
before applying my lipstick:
I want to be tied with ropes
of total possession and jealousy
and forced to watch you
act out a passion play
of demonic desire for me

A Toast To The Winner

I raise my glass to your silence tonight
In praise of the greed used to crush my heart
Salute to the wrong you'll swear that was right
When making the move to break me apart
Like tasty bites of the bread we consumed
When your eyes never left my loving stare
Like the destruction of walls that entombed
My fear: pain buried from previous tears
Tonight's ring should have been loud and earnest
Warning you of the growing frustration
Instead, you chose to ignore the certain
Clues, words or verbal retaliation
If life's a game to you then go -- win it
I won't wait here and hope to be in it

Half-Price Ego

That ego you bought
at the half-price sale
is just another irregular
hand-me-down from hell
So when you wear it
and you wear it so well
remember to roll up the sleeves
so we can all tell
that you've kept your hands as clean
as the dirt where your soul fell
into the cheapest bin
of some thrift store in hell

In Defense of Me-Ism (You-Ism)

There is no justification
for the graphic annihilation
of the soul's anticipation that
someday
you will love
something
more than yourself

2nd

I've stood in line
behind people and time
clawing at your heart and mind
Patience is a virtue
I've used to heal what hurt you
but I still cry at night --
when do I get
mine?

Momentary Lapse

How foolish I have been to think that I
could void my heart of insecurities!
The same fears that could never justfiy
my growing feelings of futility
I've wandered too far into the past tense
remembering the painful thoughts they brought
observing you and me from some high fence
not knowing all the joy, fear, pain, and loss
It chokes my throat like hands around my mind
squeezing out the hope and faith I once had
And leaves me with repeated, faded lines
overused scenes of what should have been said
I'll leave you to your fans, your memories
and crawl back to my dark, quiet retreat