Zen

I traced the words around the page again
my fingers touching every noun and verb
It brought me to my favorite place of zen
You just don't know the power of your words
How every note and song reverberates
inside my soul, within my heart and mind
Reminding me of plans that we would make
and how we danced inside a perfect rhyme
I followed every tear, each memory
and found that some were better left alone
But finally, I rested on the scene
Where you walked in and I embraced you home...
I know I am out of your mind and sight
but your words gave me such comfort tonight

Hiding

I swept the floors from front to back again
the dust and dirt were clinging to the cracks
But stubbornly I redirected them
into a waiting pan beside the trash
I swear I heard them screaming, protesting
they had a right to be there just because
life becomes disorganized, disgusting
so they find refuge underneath the rug
It's not their fault for hoping, lingering
cloaked beneath secret yarns no one will see
until I show up and sleepless, stumbling
uncovering their true identity
They hide out in an unsafe place with hope
But I can see them in between thick ropes

Dr. Zeus

Gather around everybody
I've got such a wonderful treat!
Dr. Zeus is in the house
quickly grab any seat!
This story stars our usual
unsuspecting Princess Peach
who unfortunately trusts
every villain she meets.
The scene was set years ago
on a bright and sunny day
watching the children happily
run, splash and play
Fast forward past that
I don't want to delay
why she's hurting, crying again
on her pillow this way
He met the criteria
of a best forever friend
someone to grow old with
until the very end
And then maybe past the end
it depended on the weather
that would eventually destroy
their chance of being together...
The eye of the storm
Hurricane Anthony appeared
Don't let go of my hand!
She cried, begged and feared
the worst would happen -- and it did-- sweet, smart girl
He DID let go of her hand
and the excuses began to swirl....
I was tired
Couldn't find it
uncharged, dead and spent
You always accuse me anyway
so I just left and went
for awhile
for a week
needed space, balance and time
It's working for ME
Don't you see?
I feel ready and primed
But what about our plans?
She inquired --and rightfully so
I don't want to live there
or breathe there
Um...I'll let you know...
What about always and forever or--
"I'll never do it again"
That was then
this is now Mama
(Does anyone see a trend?)
I'm alone
I'm bi polar
I'm whatever I am
But I know you'll be there
whenever I demand
food, shelter or clothing
Mama, I'm so sick today
(Do you see how her heart melts
even being treated this way?)
I need water
I need medicine
I need a new phone, computer -- oh wait!
I'm feeling dark and gloomy
Just leave -- and shut the damn gate!
I won't call you for weeks
days and nights at a time
While you sit, sleepless hours
composing Dr. Zeus Rhymes
Mama...Relax.  I love you.
It's not you it's just me
but I'm not ready to talk
But please just trust me
That's what I've been doing
all these years for you
honestly, faithfully
What more can I do?!?
I said unconditionally!
Silence. Only silence.
Selfish silence once more
She sighed, cried and slept
Not wanting to be here anymore
A small flutter from within
followed by a powerful kick
brought her back to reality
Screaming --this is RIDICULOUS!
It's a partnership not a dictatorship
or a communist plot
Love is priceless and rare
It can never be bought
or sold, borrowed or traded
for hypocrites and liars
Her eyes red with salt
reignited with fire
Her belly groaned a little
sounding more like a roar
I don't have to pack a bag
when he shows me the door
I have rights and I vow
not to take this hurt anymore!
One phone call from a friend
thirty minutes or less
She remembered who she was
She deserves only the best
Forget the pain and the double standard
Life is on the way!
How dare you treat me like this
then ask to stay and play?
I've cried so many tears
I can barely breathe
You lied, cheated and stole
You took my heart from me!
And you didn't have to
I had already given it to you for free
Dr. Zeus Rhymes once taught me
when I was small and innocent
Bad people and bad choices
would be certain, imminent
danger would lurk
Protect your heart
Sprint don't run
to the nearest Ocean
Find your comfort in the Son
And that horrible monster
Selfish, immature, greedy one
Stand your ground
Didn't you learn from your accidents
Who can hurt you?
No one
There's no moral to the tale
of giving your heart away
or having it be stolen
in a sociopath's game
You can't love a psycho
who refuses to admit
He's not tired, sick or confused
He's just a selfish di...
Did you hear me this time?
Did I stutter?
I said hold your head up high!
Let the weeds pull him down
You didn't fail because you tried!
Hurricane Anthony will blow and damage
your home with permanent smoke
But you know the precious meaning of life
and that loving someone is no joke
Life is a mix of choices
some right most of them wrong
but you dance through the joy of learning
retrace steps with the saddest of songs
What will you do Princess Peach
What do you think darling girl?
What do you decide?
Support and defend?
Like a clam does his pearl?
Support the Constitution of Love!
Or balk at the past
and swallow your pride
We'll see next week
when our heroine
encounters loneliness
will she again let him inside....
Thank you for listening to the story
Dr. Zeus has some bolts and clouds to send
to the eye of Hurricane Anthony
who seems to have surfaced again...

Stones

You can't lose what you never even had
Stop scolding me like I'm some little child!
Betrayed many times by a rocky path
I've earned the right to millions of more miles
of writing my thoughts until the hurt heals
Who gives a fuck? Me! In the muddy grass
Driving, or stuck and just spinning my wheels
while you sit in judgment, you pompous ass!
Running, walking or sleeping, I can cry
emotions rise and fall like bitter tides
Laugh, shout, dance with no idea why
a desire for answers still abides
With peaceful lullabies sung in the night
regardless if you think it's wrong or right

Gnat

Don't you ever want to sit
and smile and reminisce
about the life born out of love
the first touch, the last kiss?
There was nothing bitter written
or said about your life
Most of my words lately
are for someone else full of cathartic spite
My friend who cannot speak right now
or even feel her heart
But of course you would think the worst of me
and aim your poisoned dart...
As if I'm not a strong woman?
facing losses you can't imagine
Accidents, deaths and heartbreaks
that you'll never even know that have happened
Since you last said nothing to me
I haven't lost my passion
or my will to live and breathe
through another painful contraction
Or my nerve to finally say
I was being one hundred percent sincere with you!
You found your soul's reprieve
You found love and peace for two
At least I shared my joy
as bittersweet as it was
At least I shared a boy
that precious gift from above
At least I included you despite
the secrets you kept from me
Now I know where I rank among your dislikes
and your long lost memory:
Some annoying gnat buzzing around your ear
forever trapped by irony

Regift

Am I finally learning how to cope
keeping busy while you "balance and break?"
Perhaps, I'm simply a pathetic joke
and can't admit it's more than I can take.
Silence is the stab wound I know too well
murdering my condfidence.  And each day
that passes into night, my private Hell
becomes the moment that you went away.
My head and heart cry out "You've been betrayed!"
Just like the movie when she can't let go
"God?  Please regift me strength to walk away..."
The love is gone when you can cry no more
Tears for what you trusted to come true
Tears for pretending he'd never hurt you

Arrow

Lies
    Eyes
        Reprise
               Tries
                    Flies...
               Spies
         Denies
    Cries
Lies

Nothingness

Oh my GOD!  He exclaimed
What WAS that horrible sound?
That's the sound of my heart being dragged across the ground
He looked down
And why are my hands scratched?  Full of rocks and debris?
What happened?
An accident...she said softly
Why is there blood  all over my fingers?
She paused uneasily...started to speak...then lingered
Looking back over her shoulder with a smile too thin
she surveyed the horror scene caused by him
Her trust had been torn from her love and truth
Her happiness was knocked from her dreams and youth
Her hope had been shattered into a million deaths
and her heart --well her heart had disintegrated
into complete nothingness

The Simple Truth

Secrets unfolded from hundreds of lies
lining the years I would have to deny
to make sense of the reasons -- why even try?
Just count the treasons he committed that night...

Lies became secrets numbering the years
Devoting my nights to hundreds of tears
Unable to justify the root of my fears
Although his deception was perfectly clear...
Remembering his final goodbye...

So selfish and insincere