Offense

Neither silence nor defense
will justify the offense
of you witholding
the simplest truth
from my grasp
And your stuttering hesitance
gives way to my nonchalance:
a painful lesson
I learned from you
in the past

Intruder

My head was a siren
and my heart cried "Hurt!"
repeating the warning
"Intruder alert!"

Bipolar

Your leaking sorrow
fills my soul
perhaps tomorrow
You'll remember what you told me
Never. Always and Forever.
Or maybe you
will carelessly hold my heart
ransom, bleeding, torn apart
much like the way insomnia
directs a murder scene
in some paranoid
schizophrenic's dream

Narcissism

The narcissism I feel today
is a perfect reflection
of the games you play
and the promise you won't leave
I'll never go away
pierces louder than a scream
as I beg you to stay
SILENCE becomes the duct tape
around my hope as I lay:
a tightly bound and gagged version
of your obedient prey

Stale

My words linger...
stale in the cool air
fizzless and dull
like a comatose stare
Whatever warmth they held
and my excitement to tell
goes unheard and missing
like an ocean's echo
without her shell

Delirious

I place my longing
upon my lover’s lips
muffled by a deaf toned melody
and his golden delirious sighs
under a setting autumn sky
And the moon, when she woke
shifted her wanton, curious eye
towards the slipping fabrics of passion:
silhouettes of midnight desire
before the heated rise of the sun

Insight

Truth and deception
fought blind again tonight
How childish are they
when they both need sight

Butterfly

Come lay with me
inside a cocoon of comfort
Dream me into a patience
of  brilliant colored wings and change
Then fly with my freedom
whispered softly by my side
where my memories of forever
constantly remain

Crumbs

I hold in my hands
Your dark and ravenous
As tiny crumbs of hope
fall between the cracks
disappearing onto the fingers
Of a praying shadow

In Between

Standing
in between
feels like waiting
for the guillotine
to come down
repeatedly
in slow motion
This terror that I feel
makes the hoping
too surreal
and my heart must
must void itself
protect my life
from emotions

Bridge

Long distance miles
don't separate
the bonds of mother and child
they only generate
an appreciation
for the time well spent
during tea time and nap time
Our conversation
is the bridge between
mother and daughter's hearts
held tightly by the love
I always feel when we're apart

For My Mother Mother's Day 2010

Awake

Within this silent dreamworld I reside
my body pained, but never giving up;
bright lights and sounds resound beneath my eyes.
My skin feels torn, my bones a little rough --
cracked, broken from the impact of the car
into myself and fate's powerful hand
It feels as if I'm traveling too far...
I strain to obey each of their commands.
I've done it! Lifted all my fingers --see?
Squeezing their hands will let them know I'm here
Tempted to stay inside eternity,
I run back to the voices that are near.
Awake at last I'm home with love and light
inside of me because I chose to fight

For TSE

Five Miles

I ran five miles at sunset for the view
and let the memories comfort my mind
Though faraway you slept, or dreamed or knew
that I was simply going back in time
to soft mornings with bird's songs and light rain
simple meals at cafes that once were
A safety zone from future tears and pain
but like the roads I pass, they are now blurred
Our hearts continue beating loud and strong
despite the unexpected bend or break
Perhaps we wait for change for far too long
and find that we have made a deal with fate
To run five miles at sunrise could rewind
the hurt, regrets, the loss of precious time

Camouflaged

Uncoil yourself into a slow slither
justifying every scale you will shed
The microscopic patterns look bitter
camouflaged in colors of grey and dead
Retreat every step back to the cold stone
where smaller prey remains vulnerable
to fangs ejaculating hot poison
and the pain becomes intolerable
Defend your flesh against the intruder
whose stealth and coyness will whisper you near
Premeditate a quick and soft murder
slice the forked tongue tasting of lies and tears
Beware the serpent sleeping on his spine,
He'll suffocate you with false space and time

Weed

Gripping his thick stem
the soul of the sin
I tug and pull with no relief
One day I will dig deeper
to find the root's end
and kill this destructive weed
But something has weakened -
much to my contempt
I ignore this rampant disease

The Doormat

Wipe, wipe, wipe
Stomp!
Wipe, wipe, wipe
Stomp!
Wipe, mud
Wipe, dirt
Wipe, filth
Wipe, worth
Wipe, wipe, wipe
Clean

Three

It can't be love
when your job takes the place
of the heart that follows
and the only thirst quencher tastes
of the pride and tears you swallow
as you constantly tolerate
the empty hollow
of one silent sigh

There is no competition
because you are free
you are starting over
you are not me
There is no resolution
to what needs to be
so I become the silhouette
of the next - Number Three

I want to be the island
that disappeared at last
be swallowed by the waters
I once lived on in the past
feel the cool upon my earth
once scorched beneath the sun
and be remembered for nothing but
a place that meant
something to no one

Undone

I don't have a family anymore
past judgments and conversations
white lies creeping on the floor
Cutting murderous accusations
splatter across a door
that once remained open;
nevermore

Don't lie to or about me
you see
that which you proclaim
of mine to be so false
is your own insecurity
Don't fool yourself
into thinking I created this mess
you are the creator
of all that you will never confess

In your vain attempts
to be unlike her
you chastise me
for what you were
In your self righteous mind
you choose to ignore
reality;
You are not my family anymore

Patterns

Fear is my motivator
but I dare not speak
a silent dark instigator
of patterned deceit
leaving charcoal fingerprints
and a worried retreat
perhaps only in my mind
or a realistic scene
I pause...

at the sound...

of a distant warning.

Learn

To earn the chance of loving you today
I'm given a reminder from the past
lost time, and tears --a price I have to pay
to learn to give you space and make us last
A simple concept born of selflessness
but difficult in action and in thought
One coded word to calm my shortest breath
patient beside you while you climb your rock
Then when the moon brings in our quiet time
all worries seem so blurry and instead
of fighting through the hazy, crazy signs
desire rears her sexy, yearning head
To earn the chance of loving you today
I'll grow with you if that's what makes you stay

Fire and Water

My heart has sunk too far back down below
The place where hope and faith immortalized
It won't continue past this point I know
each memory shared, each smile, each tear, each sigh
Her name engraved like acid on my tongue
destroys my own and what it ever meant
when uttered softly even far from home
Your love now gone -- I have no confidence
in swimming. Fresh clear waters do not wash
away the new stained dark reality
of words that smell of fire, smoke and ash
My tender skin burned raw by third degrees
of peeling, bleeding wounds that will not heal
into deep waters so I cannot feel

Intrusion

Help me as I read through every poem
to understand his love has gone to her
Find me as I feel so lost and lonesome
to know the air he breathes does not concur
with how my heart suffocates in silence
Perfume, sex and whispers -- brand new lovers
intrude upon my home -- guilty violence;
swift murder of my hope by another
Put me back in darkness where eyes can lie
and poetry was once written for two
where "never," "always" and "only" abide
inside of my undying love for you
Hold me as I realize these sweet songs
were written for someone else all along

Judgmental

Talk to me
before you speak
about the details of my life
that you perceive
to be riddled with strife
and little relief
instead of how much
they really mean to me
Walk with the man
who hangs around your neck
on crossed reminder
of what you seem to forget
when you chastise me
with your not so subtle sighs
as I soothe the sounds
of my precious five
Talk to me first
before you assume
with your judgmental comments
because I am not you