4 AM

You are the one
I cannot live without
but in one moment of truth
you let the confidence out
Now the fear creeps in
waiting just beneath
my restless feelings of doubt
while you are sound asleep

Impenetrable

When I said I was impenetrable
I only meant my mind
My body, heart and soul
are made from softness you won't find
And with the right words
you will get by
but I will freeze myself in steel
with one more deliberate lie

Splinter

Will the skin grow over it
almost erasing the pain
Will I be able to ignore
that you hurt me again
Will I stay up late
picking at the very sore
that scarred my newborn skin
too many times before
Or will you slide another into me
promising just one more...

Sabotage

Sabotage is a related deception
used for your own protection
concealed in misperception
based on selfish conception
It suggests a dangerous direction
through stealth -- no means of detection
And the damage remains an affliction
long after your confession

Waste

You brushed the hair
out of my face
kept me safe
in your embrace
Created a peace
released my sighs
I never breathed
until I looked into your eyes
You completed my world
with a child's soul
said you'd love me
as we grow old
I need your touch
I long for your taste
but I see it all
has gone to waste

Polarities

A quick shy glance into his eyes told me
that everything I dreamed would come to pass
But stumbling blind and beaten recently
I've been shown that real love will never last
Shut memories of him into a void
where empty space and numbness will preside
over hope and trust. Lead me to a choice
of missing heartbeats when I am beside
a hidden, rocky path that led me home
The safest place I knew was in his kiss
or lying beneath his soft, husky tone
Before I felt his absence and the shift
in polarities of love without pain:
The difference between stable and insane

Repeat

Do you ever feel the words
stuck on repeat
Its the one song I hear
whenever you retreat
Permanent goodbyes
feel like a cold deceit
but I'll hurt much worse
if you never choose to speak...

Fence

Inside this beautiful chaos
I finally find
your choice to stay silent
means I lose my mind
If waiting isn't leaving
then how can that be
that I can't live without you
but you can live without me
It doesn't make sense
to my head or my heart
You putting up a fence
until we're no longer apart
And what of the day
I come running to you
just to show you the scars
and tell you we're through
My hearts need compassion
conversation and laughter
between now and when
we are happily ever after

Linked

You promised me
you would never leave
I'm begging you please
end this permanent reprieve
The love of your life
for one brief moment
Then a backstab of the knife
becomes my broken tourniquet
Unstopping the tears
I'm not supposed to shed
Bleeding out my fears
wishing I were dead
Switching on a light
like a frightened child
Chasing memories in the night
missing your laugh, your smile
The longer you steep your thoughts
in circumstancial atrophy
The quicker you bury my heart
in endless agony
I was to be your only one
you think so little of me now
This damage can be undone
remember your whispered vow
To hold the newborn soul in your hands
straight lines marked, lives linked forever
I'm doing the best I possibly can
but for you I'll make it better
Being without you
hurts more than being apart
You promised we'd see this through
You promised to take care of mine heart

Given

I didn't steal
your heart
like you say
you gave it to me
I gave you mine
then you threw both of them
away