Dismissed

My feelings wrapped in shadows
while you sleep through my tears:
You turn your back on me
dismiss those memories
and simply disappear

Nostalgia

Back to the bricks
where it started before
when I kissed you tenderly
as I came through the door
to your open, waiting heart
I was already craving more
of the ecstasy we'd share
on your bedroom floor
You lifted me off the ground
a high I couldn't ignore
and took me to a place
where we could explore
every fantasy you dreamed --
your personal little whore
I want to be back in your arms
where it started before

Observation

I am the spy, the fly upon your wall
Aromas of meals surround my distaste
And words exchanged here don't mix well at all
with flavors from where I originate
Where is the warm light? In darkness how can
You create new dreams or search for your home
This can't be your resting place, though I am
Just a fly in this rooom, and will be gone
After tomorrow, when I've seen too much
I'll vanish into my chaotic mind
Where images seem doubled, harsh and rough
And explanations never have their time;
You sit there in your peace so quietly
Wishing you were anywhere close to me

Surrender

Find your rocky path
with somebody next to you
poetry, pleas and burning tears
will never get the message through
Breathing to you is leaving to me
so keep the full moon at bay:
Shine her promises on someone new
and watch me fade away
There is nothing else I can possibly do
There is nothing more I can say
I surrender, you win, you want it to end
at least that's what you said today...

Silence

My heart has to hear
I love you
every single day
to know that you meant
forever
when you said you'd stay
My ears have to hear
your laughter
it's my lullaby
calming me when
I'm uncertain
soothing me when I cry
But my heart won't hear
I love you
every single day
just destructive, cold
silence
now that you've gone away

Betray

I knew my heart would betray me
It knew that you would leave
and so it stole my hidden strength
and my security
It mocked me as it ran to you
I watched in disbelief
as it forgave the pain I felt
and wouldn't let you see
my face twisted in anguish
me crashing to my knees
My endless hope has vanished
because you want to be
free to live without my love
in constant misery
I knew my heart would betray my soul
by letting you into me

Unsavor

I narrow my eyes
teeth clenched in anger
force myself to feel nothing
wanting to be strangled
by words that you won't speak
and love you claim to feel
so I can breathe one last breath
pretending some part of us was real
My lips bleed out from teeth
that bit into your soul
unsavoring the taste of you
until my heart grows cold

Ten Pounds

ten pounds of innocence
ten pounds of flesh
ten pounds of wondering
why this is for the best?
ten pounds of smiles
ten pounds of cries
ten pounds of protection
to hide what I feel inside
ten pounds of us
ten pounds of truth:
a lifetime of forever
without loving anyone but you

Trapped

I am trapped behind the glass
the same one you spoke about
encircled by rage and anger
I will never come out
If I could carve out my eyes
and make my mind disappear
I would use the deadliest cry
and slice each of my tears
Colorless, ambiguous lies
poison me like a gas
invisibly justified
but I refuse the mask
I'd rather breathe it in
ending my misery
leaving my hopes and dreams
with you, my beloved thief
I'm burning the stripes of summer
every smile, every look
every sigh, every whisper
that "circumstance" took
My God we had our own language!
But now mute, deaf and blind
we remain torn apart by fate's rusty hook
and leave it all behind

New Grief

I fall to the ground
taken by new grief
like some voodoo punctured doll
being stabbed on repeat
Chained to the sounds
Vibrating memories
against the same wall
that created the heat
that melted with our sex
as you held me in mid-air
fucking cheek to cheek
completely unaware
of anything but your touch,
the feel of you inside,
the taste of your pure lust
with love as the ultimate prize
Devestated and beaten
I lie on the floor
my heart broken, pausing
to stop and stare at the door
Where you won't be walking in
begging me for more
"Temporary goodbyes"
are too permanent to ignore

Concrete

By the letter of the law
you are right
but under the spirit of the law
like matters of the heart
things are not so
black and white...

Infinite

Every drop of rain

is a footprint
or a stain
towards you
but in vain

Everywhere rain falls

you'll hear my voice
it calls
upon your choice
to be without me

Tears from angels' eyes
drown the thunder
mask the sighs
echoes of your goodbye
will haunt me

Infinite proof again
my love for you
is your pain
inside of your heart
I remain...

Every drop of rain

Bleed

Rip off the band-aid
let it bleed
out of my veins
and into your need
to hold my lifeless
worthless grief
in your clenched fist

Irony

I cannot move for fear of losing ground
petrified by the sound of your goodbye
Cold and unsheltered the rain falls around
your silent sadness. More tears from my eyes
wash away lines in the sand that were drawn
too long ago before our love was right;
Next to each other whispering at dawn
Kissing your lips under first morning's light
Cradled in your arms, finally complete
every part of you brought me confidence
But I fall apart as I watch you leave
motivated by complete loneliness
My love, I know I cannot keep you here
a dying prisoner of my darkest fear

Reflection

Everytime he sighs
it reflects the love
in your beautiful green eyes
And when he smiles
it erases the miles
of untraveled
uncertain roads
between us

Speechless

Have you ever
been so at a loss
for anything to say
that a mirrored blade
across the throat
would speak louder
and bleed longer
than words?
I feel that way today

Black Daffodil

I am a misplaced crippled shadow
fading in the dark;
Hope desperately resting
one one single daffodil
whose petals have turned black
and already begun to fall

Fatal

Ego-fed hypocrisy
turns to reprimand
with the fetal positioned breakdown
I hold in my hand
Like a premature mental bomb
without a solid plan
Waiting to explode into
your doubting heart
All you see is fatality
But I'm doing all that I can

As I tear your mended wounds apart