Karma

Pure manmade evil
lurks inside of a synthetic religion
that encourages you
to turn your back
on your own flesh and blood
Karma has a way
of painfully reminding you
you made the wrong choice
to do something
you never should have done...
In this proverbial preacher's
final fight for our souls,
you are just one more
brainwashed, pathetically ironic pun

Kung Fu

Biu Jee
uses the low kick
and lower sweeps
felt by those
knocked down
or out of balance
But the grip
on the soul
remains

Memories and Cats

I read the book too soon again, I think
my hands are bloody from papercut words
Now I have to rid myself of the stink
from honey-matted, overstroked cat fur
found in between the pages of each thought
The memories are stories in their dreams
but they will never know the love we lost
as they pretend to live within the scenes
Sweetened quotes will become the sour puns
that lay upon your tongue like old stale glue
from envelopes that should have been undone
they burn in irony and rotted fumes
I won't commit these ones to mind and heart
I'll reach the end and rip the book apart

Perfect Aim

One hand protects heart
Love senses danger ahead
Man fires arrow

More or Less

The more signs I heed
The more that I fear
to slow down, speed up
will not bring you near...

The more love I feel
The less you can hold
young and foolish, aware of hate
how do we grow old...

The more words I write
The less thoughts you read
auto bio, public journal
or personal diary...

The more days that pass,
The more difficult it gets
To be without you, without us
And still, I have no regrets...

Greed

The witless cat
starving beside her bowl of fresh milk
meows loudly

Suffocate

My lips are purpled blue
from holding my breath
waiting for you
to challenge this test
of courage against fear
love against hate
hope against futility
or is it already too late...

Rag Doll

Everything we love eventually breaks
Did you hear my sigh? So empty. Lifeless.
Cold thoughts medicate the dull, steady ache
My heart screams death; I don't want to fight this.
Tear me up like a rag doll in some crazed
experiment gone wrong to prove you need
store bought loyalty and painted on grace
found in the stuffings of cheap memories
My arms no longer wrapped around your neck
in some toyish hope: "Hang onto your dreams!"
Dusty, forgotten, hidden in some chest
filled with discomfort; each ripped at the seams
You don't need a doll who loves without cause?
I don't need a heart who can't love at all

Scrape

That sound at the window I know it too well
she's hungry for more of you but won't ring the bell
I hear her scraping at your door again
scratching, clawing --she wants to break in
And if you so much as peer over the ledge
she will forever remain a wedge:
Unstoppable, permanent, destructive bitch
wanting you to cure her insatiable itch
She made her choice and once chance is enough
but these aftershocks and waiting rooms are lonely and tough
like the leather on your shoes that you want to wear forever
but the next time it rains they won't outlast the weather
Her control over you is one part of love I can't give
It's fueled by selfish greed and I will not live
in fear worrying about the things I don't know
Did she contact you again? Will you stay or go?
Between our hearts and hidden caves we reside
among the special places we try to hide

And my love, I really don't understand why

between trust and truth --you still choose to lie

when I adore you so much with a love so deep

Secrets between us will definitely keep

hurting our chances of real happiness

like being free from fears and constant stress

She will find the one way through your weakening door

and I will disappear to an isolated shore

where waiting and hope are demons in company

reminding me of all that I gave you --she took from me
But I hear her pounding on the door again
She's getting louder and stronger
Please.  Do not let her in.
She's using them to hurt you
they will be fine
But you only have one life

one heart and one soul
and so little time...
I pray to God everyday
you will not let her win....
If you let your guard down even slightly
it will be the end

Critical Listening

When I tell you specifically
the deepest cravings of my soul
I am not being cryptic
It's like symmetrically lining
the last deadly kiss
before applying my lipstick:
I want to be tied with ropes
of total possession and jealousy
and forced to watch you
act out a passion play
of demonic desire for me

A Toast To The Winner

I raise my glass to your silence tonight
In praise of the greed used to crush my heart
Salute to the wrong you'll swear that was right
When making the move to break me apart
Like tasty bites of the bread we consumed
When your eyes never left my loving stare
Like the destruction of walls that entombed
My fear: pain buried from previous tears
Tonight's ring should have been loud and earnest
Warning you of the growing frustration
Instead, you chose to ignore the certain
Clues, words or verbal retaliation
If life's a game to you then go -- win it
I won't wait here and hope to be in it

Half-Price Ego

That ego you bought
at the half-price sale
is just another irregular
hand-me-down from hell
So when you wear it
and you wear it so well
remember to roll up the sleeves
so we can all tell
that you've kept your hands as clean
as the dirt where your soul fell
into the cheapest bin
of some thrift store in hell

In Defense of Me-Ism (You-Ism)

There is no justification
for the graphic annihilation
of the soul's anticipation that
someday
you will love
something
more than yourself

2nd

I've stood in line
behind people and time
clawing at your heart and mind
Patience is a virtue
I've used to heal what hurt you
but I still cry at night --
when do I get
mine?

Momentary Lapse

How foolish I have been to think that I
could void my heart of insecurities!
The same fears that could never justfiy
my growing feelings of futility
I've wandered too far into the past tense
remembering the painful thoughts they brought
observing you and me from some high fence
not knowing all the joy, fear, pain, and loss
It chokes my throat like hands around my mind
squeezing out the hope and faith I once had
And leaves me with repeated, faded lines
overused scenes of what should have been said
I'll leave you to your fans, your memories
and crawl back to my dark, quiet retreat

Want

I want you to love me
with all of your soul
Hold me close to you
until we grow old
Touch me and taste me
just like the first time
Lay here beside me
until we run out of rhymes...
Then begin with new words
from my lips to your ears
Kiss sealed promises
of cherished future years
I want to love you
for the rest of your life;
Best friend and lover,
mother and wife

One and Only

Take me into your arms
touch me tenderly,
just enough to tease me
tweak my virgin strings
Slowly, softly finger me
until our rhythm bursts
Faster, make me scream
your pain repeated verse
This love you have for me
I will not let you down
We’ll conquer all who see
our desires tightly bound
One body and soul on stage
where the deafening lights are loud
Or in a dark, private place
and we both know how
to bring our music
to the ultimate high:
a two way blinding ecstasy
where passion freezes time
Nothing can replace us
I know who you are
Playing out my fantasy
with my one and only
guitar

Stolen

Your thoughts and mine
like oceans divided by lines
and spaces between dreams
Let love intertwine
itself around hope
and silently dance
upon fate's envious chance;
Mend the jagged seams
of damaged hearts and minds
until we can redeem
the stolen gift of time

Justification of a Half-Truth

You can share it with the world
your justified hate
pray the pseudo rosary
pretend to meditate
But see how you forget
when cursing out my name
to admit that you have yet
to accept some of the blame
You can purify your soul
scrawls of painful, angry verse
undermine the foolish fool
revalue your self-worth
But look me in the eye
with brutal honesty
remember I left you
after you walked out on me
Run, go write your heart out
accuse me of grave faults
Bury all of your secrets
in half-filled vaults
Battle ghosts and demons
proclaiming you were wronged
But I dare you to listen
to the real tune of our broken song
The lies you told me were small and few
but they kept me from knowing
and being with you
Not uncontrolled circumstances
or locks on people's gates
Just loss of total trust
and break of endless faith
I did my part for years
with patient heed
Faced all of my fears
and I did bleed...
So when you lament
of Beauty's love that failed
give half credit to the heart
that you knowingly impaled

Zombie Soup

Shattered heart around my mind
fuels no chance for sleep
like frustration flavored zombie soup
A sense of time patterened sickness
reminds me of the need
to appease this restricted hunger
Even leftover stale bread crumbs
will eventually soak up
the insomnia colored
amniotic tidal waves

Amtrak

It wasn't the soft morning high
of the bleary-eyed lullabye
sung by the bird's perfect tunes
Or the rude awakening lurch
forward facing train's strict march
that allowed me to break in front of you
It was the sadness of your sigh
the misty handprinted goodbye
on the window that I just couldn't see
And it was the way my heart fell
onto the second and third rail
crying "take my life now ---
so that you can breathe"

Dedication

Throw blood crusted confetti

thread your old, rusted machete

through the middle of his

broken heart

It's the anti-celebration

of blackened jubilation

dedicated to the day

you ripped his world apart