Leaving

Take care of yourselves. I will return sometime. Ali

Finished

Nothing
lasts longer
than the end

Alkaline

Ironic the stars would appear tonight
Where alkaline clouds surround my lost will
Your love disappears like fading twilight
Rain drops seem harsh upon my window sill
Thunder shakes the bed where I toss and turn
Rag doll lust for your pleasure kept me there
Candlelight flickers without much concern
For the love we made and promised to share
Streaks of energy --electric longing
Crucify my senses for hours and hours
I'm hypnotized until early morning
Every moment without you empowers
My resistance to give into the hope
My strength to erase every word you spoke

Arson

It's necessary
to tell the very first lie
but anything after that
is intended, deliberate
premeditated and inconsiderate
an intentional arson of love:
So do we strike the match
wait for the wind
to catch the ashes
or simply let the spark die

Vulnerable

Shadows circle around me
Hungry eyes stalk my sounds
Desperate pleas as I struggle and squirm
to break free without falling down
I forget to look up and slip into the deep
into a death trap of three
Sharp smiles, slimy charms target my heart
right before they rip into me
The pain is intolerable
being unprotected bait
hanging from a hook and string
Feeling completely vulnerable
dreaming of ways to escape
this dark and dangerous scene

Blind

Mental masturbation turns to
frantic castration of my
silent retaliation upon you

Tick...Tick...Tick

Pressure and pleasure
contained in my box
Programmed for release,
timed to go off
At the touch of anyone
if I'm given what I need
A sexual ticking time bomb
with lust for a seed
Like sin pointing his hard gun 
forcing me to concede
With his finger on the trigger
of my insatiable greed

Your Knife

Cutting
into your
calm, undisturbed world
She
sliced away
you and me;
Resting
in your
safe wooden home
I
continued to
watch us bleed

Pen

I feel like
the last drop of ink
from the pen you shake
both in fury and in fear
Depending on me
to write your resume
tell you what I think
It becomes so clear:
Remember that I can
overlook one detail
omit a certain piece
to make or break your career

Alien

Feed me,
Fuck me
Shut the hell up
I can't take this
relationship stuff
Feed me
Fuck me
Figure it out
I'm tired of trying
I want to get out
Feed me
Fuck me
When will you see
I don't give a damn
about anyone but me

Ostrich

You run away faster
than anyone can
and your mouth overflows
with cowardly sand

Dangerous Swim

Even swimming in innocent waters
can be dangerous; it tempts fate
You're treading too long
to barter for more time
and across my sinking faith

Games

They start out wanting
new and different
but outgrow both
to return to the
same old thing
And when you change
to become unique,
unpredictable again
they avoid you like
a controversial vaccine

Surreal

Lightning reaches down
pulling me into the surreal
The smell of rain approaches
A patient storm begins as I kneel

Parallel

Parallel my soul for awhile
sights and sounds that we both knew
Glance sideways at my shy smile
What's underneath it will reveal you

A Soldier's Thoughts On Kindness

Our boundless humanity
is evident when we
bring water to the traveler
in the middle of adversity

Call to An Eagle

Eagle take me far away
over cliffs into the bay
where secrets, lies and truths betray
the whispered words one quiet May
Eagle drop me when you fly
through my past and don't deny
me any view of future sighs
they may not feel if I should die;
Carry my soul beneath your wings
where angels grow and love can sing
a sweeter sound than what hope brings
protect me from life's painful sting
Eagle take me far away
over tomorrow, leaving today

Current

I feel a dark depression deep within
But something tells me that you feel it too
I sit and talk with you like long lost friends
Intrigued by what? I barely know if you
Dream for hours at night or wake from nightmares
Do you escape from what does not exist?
Around your home where no one seems to care
Trapped inside a bubble of missing bliss
I hide my pain but show it through my eyes
Inside of the same look you give to me
And when we touch I feel the moment rise
Like current through wet electricity
When I'm silent, I wonder if you know
I'm wondering where this friendship will go

Atonement

Atonement
is something
I'll never see

Sent

Box of truths and lies
Care of someone else's arms
Return to sender

Body Count

You, me, him
losses to
calculate

Strategy

No one
wins anything
Love is war

Bright Escape

Its not ironic for the stars
to be visible tonight
Because you need
something bright enough
to light your crooked path
as you run away from home

Psychotic

He didn't see you
were not losing your mind
to his contradictory carousel
of what is wrong or right
but he called it anyway
you are insane
in a functional world
and ten people
will share the same insight

A Child's Love

Loving him with 
unconditional childlike love
innnocent, trusting and pure
gives him the right
to treat you like a newborn
vulnerable, dependent and unsure

Composition

Exhume to resume
Recomposed bones of grief, loss
Heart still decomposed

Empty Arms

I thought you would call today
I hoped that when I went away
You'd miss me love
You'd even long to kiss me love
But now all I feared of you
Is happening  -- it's coming true
You're satisfied
You're happy and content inside
So I walk, I crawl, I run to you
But find there is no reason to
make this journey
take this journey
back to you
Did you watch as my confidence
Faded away to common sense?
Eventually you -- in self defense
will turn and walk away
Instead of a place
A fireside, a home
with empty arms and space
I am alone

Enemy

Loving kills the weak
Hate releases wrath on hope
Silent war with self

Handprint

Smudge on my window
Handprint left in ecstasy
Disappears with the rain

Beautiful Day

Clouds change direction
Conversation between friends
Finding peace again

Saved

My love, I have given you
the secret manuscript to my soul
but you repeatedly throw it away
leaving it crumpled in a ball
Sometimes you pull it out of the trash,
smooth the wrinkles one by one
begin to read it, memorize the words
but then you come undone
Crumple it back into a ball
and drop it into the trash again
where it gets lost for awhile
among other letters that have been
Forgotten once they are read
Dismissed as too lengthy
but it finds its way back to the top
because it's a part of me
You've even brought it close
to a roaring fire many times
when your only desire
was to make me disappear
as if it would erase those lines
But here and now before you
torn, charred and aged
this paper rests in your hands
as your eyes still scan the page
For answers and hidden clues
as the light begins to fade
upon this worn piece of paper
a part of my soul you have saved

Im(penetrable)

Sleeping on broken glass is best tonight
I can feel the jagged edges
cut deep into my flesh
I toss -- I turn
I quick-burn my memories
Crystal pain pierces
my once impenetrable fears
but I only bleed your wounds
through artificial tears

Giving In

A horrible chill creeps under my skin
Somewhere in the dark you have given in
I'm some enemy no longer your friend
Holding tightly to pieces I will never mend

My Mother

Like a blue tulip
Sweet like a Queen Honeybee
And cooks like a dream

Haiku written on a bookmark given to me by one of my sons
Mother's Day 2008; Thank you M. I love you.

Turn Around

If you've come to find something soft and light
Turn around. Jump back into your abyss
My voice in your ear does not sound quite right
My memories of us are in strangled bliss
Waiting for me to end what you started
With silent, sarcastic, cruel, flippant words
Swim to the surface where you departed;
So you admit it: You aren't who you were
Jumbled thoughts juxtipose reason and faith
You live your life. I'm supposed to live mine?
The more that I speak, the more that you hate
This battle of views is so asinine!
I have not torn our faith and love apart
You've become who you were back at the start

Simple Photography

The camera captures life through open lens
Our memories are preserved from year to year
Family and friends, the places we have been
Past moments we have lived through smiles and tears
Pictures upon these pages represent
Each glimpse of time that became part of me
Celebration, experience, events
All conveyed through simple photography
Within this album lives a certain past
And future empty spaces will reveal
The art of life we find along the path
Protecting what we see and what we feel
Time moves quickly like pages in a book
We need to pause and take a second look

Dodging Darts

When your injured mind
begins to think ill thoughts of me
and tear the best of us apart
I wish you would remember
all that I have given you
how much I love you
and defend me with your heart

Poetic Truth Through Visions

Every word I wrote from before to now
Has come to pass and worse, still more arrive
The promise that seemed once a solemn vow
Is gone by choice and will just to survive
Survive with pride and lies within yourself?
Pretending all was some hypnotic dream?
And what of life -- are those true lies as well?
Some tear upon an amniotic seam?
I curse the words I spoke, and ones I shared
With you in trust and knowing I would lose
The love your soul released when you did care
And passion you encountered by a muse
Every word I will write from now to then
Will forecast haunting visions of the end

Proof

I gather one
into my arms
with the usual hugs and kisses
Say a quick prayer
to keep him from harm
and tell him I will miss him
But as I turn
to go back to the silence
that surrounds me indefinitely
I realize he is my
only proof of hope
that I once had your love
more than briefly

Overaccommodation

I see it clearly:
Two sides of the same
You need me when you're weak
but strong -- you play a cruel game
Have I finally learned the tactic?
Can I eliminate my intention
Of being your twenty four hour oversupply
of unappreciated accommodation?
You've escalated my alert
scars cover past pretenses
My trusting heart
has been betrayed again
I'm raising my defenses...

Unfinished Conversation

Don't you understand it crushes my soul
When you unfinish a conversation?
Like unpainting a bright, new house dark, old
No second thought or deliberation
As to how grand that house felt at one time
With colors and care surrounding its walls
Silence was so comforting and benign
And discussions would never end at all!
But now even my verses on a page
Fall flat onto the ground beneath your sight
Our topics and subjects began to fade
And disappear before my weeping eyes
I really don't know how to replenish
The emptiness left from words unfinished

Special Day

There is nothing special
about today
cloaked in the same
disturbing, usual silence
an invisible emotional violence
has become the weekly play

Back to Green

Go back home
to your lush green
where the spiders crawl
among your web of denial
But remember
You lay next to me
among greener, taller blades
counting cloud shapes
when you used to smile

Short Race

Run boy run
your heart may catch up
with your head
and then you will be alone

Incubus

The only time
you make lately
is just enough time
to tell me confidently
you have none for us

Pretending

I hate pretending
that I don't care for you
when the only thing
consuming my world
is how much I do

Self Destruct

Mysogynist

Self proclaimed
woman hater
hides part of his rib
to avoid
sharing all of himself

Lover

Proven
soul keeper
gives her whole heart
to avoid
losing all of herself