Privacy

My wondering heart will no longer seek
The deep parts of you that you hold sacred
Soft breathing will silence my tear-stained cheeks
But rushes of pain will exhume my dread
Another silence sent through your fear
Will echo throughout this cold winter night
Wrapped up in the lies you left in my ear
The glaring reason to give up the fight
You had me stripped bare -- my soul open wide
But slapped me across my tender heart's trust
With hidden excuses thickened from pride
And one firm belief that one way was just
I return the keys to your heart once more
And hang the privacy sign on your door

Pause

Take careful precaution
Make it all disappear if you must
You aren't eliminating history
Just erasing my trust

Watching Mommy Cry

I don't understand why my mommy cries
My big smile doesn't seem to make her stop
I play peekaboo and cover her eyes
Her tears fall down while she stares at the clock
I heard his voice for a minute today
Then watched as my mommy lowered her head
I put my hands over her ears this way
She won't have to listen to what he says
My mommy says it's her fault, it's her heart
She loves him too much and for him that's wrong
She told me they are just too far apart
To sing to each other their special songs
It seems so easy to me --they should try
To sing new songs instead of say goodbye

Acrostic Goodbye

Anti-altruistic formed words
Created by your silence
Released into my sadness
Over wires, time and space
Splintered tears by madness
That seem to linger longer
Inviting fears and nightmares
Cadence of sorrow's steps
Greedy nonchalant survival
Omnipotent in your battle
On grounds I cannot retreat
During this brief farewell:
Beneath the stars you took me, then
You asked for our love to
End

Perfect Night

Warmth through a silk blouse
Foggy, winding secret roads
Music to our ears

After Dinner

Ice melting slowly
I lean into you
whirpools of water
everything feels new
mixed with my drink
lustful liquids combine
as they crash into the glass
I'm reinventing time
Stirring them, moving them
Motions near the prize
around a ripe, red cherry
your hand upon my thigh
I'm listening to your story
I start to think
Your mouth curves slightly
I taste you as you speak
Your hand upon my back
My body feels desire
You lead me out the door
a rising, climbing fire
Dark and misty rain
falling into your kiss
shield us from the lights
I'm blinded from the bliss
Lay me down before you
dropping to my knees
Press your warmth against mine
I'll look up and say please...

Snap

And after the final show,
I smiled goodbye and I bowed
while the audience clapped furiously
I hid my sadness above my doubt
Back in my lonely room
I secretly and silently cried
while the onlookers walked away
but listened with false pride
To the girl with blonde hair
bending herself in two
for the love of a man who left her
claiming he didn't know what to do

too far to reach the morning
too far to stay awake
too far to heed the warning
too far too simply take

One final look in the mirror
My quivering lips too chapped
I felt my heart break forever
I felt my soul snap

Hindsight

When you look through the window, do you see
Across the midnight sky beyond the night
This perfect perfection of lights and trees
Blurred in the visonless faith of our sight
A warm hand pressed against the frosted glass
Wandering mind and a wondering heart
Asking why life didn't wait for the past
Or warn me before I began to start
The path of commitment to the wrong place
That will keep me uncertain in hindsight
Somewhere between lonely thoughts and mistakes
My conscience should have said this isn't right
If I had outlined my lips with chocolate
Would that have changed fate's attempt to stop it?

Understanding

I feel like a fool because I can't learn
To leave you alone inside of your self
Your silent anger, is not a bridge burned
But rather a chance to sit on the shelf
Of life's grand library just to observe
The big picture that hangs upon the wall
I know that you love me and you deserve
To consume your thoughts and digest them all
I won't knock on your door, hoping to find
You starving yourself without food from me
Just because I walk the passionate line
Does not change your need for serenity
You have finally made me understand
I can leave you alone and hold your hand

Taking Leave

And just as quickly as you come, you leave
Forgetting my name, his smile and us
The director calls a break on the set
And you disappear with all of my trust
You shrivel my heart with your hateful words
A pride filled prejudiced reclaims your heart
The vision of Beauty becomes too blurred
And slowly, we begin to fall apart
Your silence freezes the southern night's heat
Immortalizing my tears and my pain
Your lies erase all that makes me complete
Leaving me empty and alone again
Tonight,  you slip away too easily
With everything you have given to me