A Proposed Refusal

Circles of darkness under my teardrops
Form a new sadness inside of my heart
The pain of this all consuming fear stops
My lips from forming words but then you start
To play with my mind by freezing your soul
Rejecting my warmth and squeezing my kiss
Into slime: sarcasm spilled from your bowl
Under wires too thin --what a tangled mess!
My voice carries blended air to your ears
While your finger taps the destruction key
Futile attempts to compensate lost years
Lay wrapped in your selfish consistency
Buried in my sleeve I wipe hope away;
You refused to let me need you today

Carry, Softly

My soft hands
                        gliding over
                        your tired soul
                        tenderly and carefully lifting it to sleep
                        I will carry it for you, my love
                        Smoothing away
                        the unruly wrinkles of sorrow
                        and new wounds that have left
                        their reputable bloody disdain
                        I will wash it again, my love
                        Breathing in the cool late night air
                        kissing your warm skin
                        with a silence only given
                        bringing your strength in…
                        I will hold you, my love
                        Listening to your pain and promise
                        from too many miles away
                        without you…
                        near you…                        I will love you forever, my love

Whispers and Ghosts

Release this bird upon the missing snow
He'll take my tears beyond an Eastern light
And dreams of icy, cold and frosted plow
Can't comfort me past midnight's darkened sight
Old whispers from your tongue --thieves of my dreams
Like ghosts they taunt and haunt me to my grave
Though you would say your life was not serene
I see a different portrait of those days
Where dance and romance lead the way for two
Where lovers felt the warmth of spring and fall
Where I was not a vision, hope or view
When you had everything before you saw
That everything could disappear, and love
Can fade to nothing by a slow dissolve

MS Explorer

Fate cuts her ice into this sailing ship
Surreal but sincere moments loom at hand
Passengers with lives are losing their grip
Upon Nature and God's revealing plan
Waters drown the numbness of their souls
Surrendered fear within some rescued heart
Live now so this great story can be told
Of courage and futility; like art
Sinking, drowning to her final demise
Destruction and submission caught on tape
An altered sense of dread before our eyes
As life becomes no more than fading shapes
If ships are made of steel, but can go down
What chance do we all have before we drown?

Frustration

I shake my head at images of you
My heart rejects those words once meant for me
I shake my head at all I thought I knew
And cry the tears that you will never see
I read the poems never meant for us
And weep past all the precious memories
Words raise my interest when you mention lust
Then slow my breathing down to reverie
My heartache needs a break from slanted hope
I take a walk along the darkened street
Feeling a lump growing inside my throat
I wander contemplating my defeat
Now back inside a lonely home past ten
Climbing the stairs, I shake my head again

Sickness

I'll wipe away the fever from your head
Pull up the blanket closer to your chin
I'll let the blinds bring sunlight to your bed
Quiet all sounds around so you can mend
I'll watch you toss and turn within your sleep
And hush a restful calm into your ears
Rush out to soothe the baby when he weeps
So you will not be woken by his tears
I'll wipe away the illness from your heart
So you can breathe and feel like you again
It's possible to feel while we're apart
A healing touch from me upon your skin
But when the illness in your soul takes flight
I'm still sick from the memories of our fight

Tenderness Lost

Sing my broken heart
Faded memories find me
Return to cold nights

I m p er f e ctly

No more icy backgrounds
You've found solace in sushi
and sleepless nights
when the bed creaks
slightly to the right
and you don't have to say anything
if you turn it all on me
Except how we
should just stop
the stupid game
we don't play
What game?
The same one
we vehemently deny
until I cry so hard
my guts turn into blood
like an emotional flood
that you will never tread
because you've never really listened
to those feelings in your head
And your heart?
What heart?
Locked behind a steel trap
years ago
And if anyone asks
You fumble over
calculated, fabricated sighs
murmuring you misplaced it
somewhere in her eyes
It wasn't her fault?
Then was it yours?
When you pole vaulted into me
Feeling so certain, so sure
that my soul was your posession
and irresistably impure...
Now I see it too clearly
Looking in the mirror
through acidic, burning tears
you never asked me to stay
but always ran fast and far
always, always went away
You stopped the silence
only to bring more
Then turning on a smile
walked out the door
for more conversation
and sensational loving
with someone else.
Leave me on your shelf
next to your faux religion
and surface dreams
Where you lie
unsafe and unhappy
inside of your screams
while disregarding my love for you
like the melting ice cream
that dribbled down my cup
in the afterglow scene...
To some
I might seem used and abused
To me
you are indifferent to real love
because you choose to be --
or maybe just a sociopath
pretending to be confused
But my God!
wishes not dollars
buy a little boy
a nice, much needed pair of shoes
with compensation left over
to paint a different hue
over the permanent punch in my stomach
a walking and talking blue-eyed bruise
a growing, large visible reminder
of all you stand to lose
The one you continually ignore
every time you leave me
for some other whore
The one playing next to me quietly
while I silently crumble
onto a familiar floor
While you say
I don't want to do this anymore
Stealing my soul from me
and everything else we'd be
I still had so much left
to give to you for free
The perfect murder!
You carried it out!
You planned it all...
didn't you?
You must have
for it to end so
i m p er f e ctly
for two

Pride and Edginess

Some notion of love that abides with me
Restlessly wakens my snowfallen tears
Simplicty forces the tide and she
Drowns -- treading too slowly in deeper fears
Never baptized twice with the moment lost
We rush past each other to closure
Who gave us the right to place count or cost
On actions that needed less exposure?
Fly backwards, fall faster into sleep
Dreaming that your love will soon sanctify
Each false promise that we break or keep
Depending on what we justify
Nothing to save me will stay by my side
Snow covered darkness multiplies your pride

Still Life

The swaying light
above the worn, wooden table
grows frighteningly dim
Love feels thick,
selfish, and suddenly grim
We can quickly become
sweet and fresh
like harsh words forgiven
by remembering what we forgot
Or like the old fruit
buried at the bottom
of a pristine pearl
white marble bowl
We will slowly rot

Facing the Music Hypothetically

Don't ever say those hurtful words to me
My heart tightens three times the size of pain
I know you loathe my fierce intensity
Don't live with me in constant hidden shame
I cringe behind the music's message now
My ears ring with familiar tunes from you
It's easy to forget those practiced vows
We made when love was whole --we never knew
That circumstance and deviance would bring
Unholy clouds upon our solid faiths
And so he screams the words I cannot sing
It takes me to a dark and lonely place
Don't ever say such fatal words to me
Those lyrics foreshadow where we will be

For Silence

When you leave
I give what I miss
where you hear
how I see
why you take
what you need
for silence

Taps

Voice like failed morse code
Whispers colder than white wind
Return to nothing

1:20

Strawberry red pain
Lingers like a heart attack
Stare through love's cold eyes

Shopping

Another purchase
Patterned against your style
Her crime of fashion

Decomposition

Crumpled post it notes
Decomposing in the trash
Songs of hope, unborn

Losing Grip

You did have a choice- not to let me go
But something in you felt weakened tired
My hands grasped for your hands, my scream went cold
My eyes met yours -- lifeless, uninspired
A sadness swept coarsly across my flesh
Jagged rocks below waited for my fall
Looking through your hands I only saw death
His foot in my heart forcing me to crawl
We were misled -- there will never be time
You gave up on our love too easily
I honestly thought my words or some rhyme
Would permeate your soul so you could see
Death's grip held my throat at midnight plus one
Adding my breath to the dust from your run

Love

Desert full of need

Give only what you can take

Love leaves me thirsty

Understanding

Trying on old shoes

Miles worn, memories to run

I feel your slow steps

Humility

Admit to your pride

Humbleness wilts your petals

Shriveled, dry flowers

Sipping Soup

Intensity has faded for today
Perhaps I am relaxed to hear the news
But distant is the way my heart will lay
Beside your voice and song despite that you
Have sworn to try and try again until
Some mood or silence fills your hungry soul
I'll bury deep within November's chill
While sipping soup alone before it's cold
Becomes the life of luxury no more
Becomes the want of sleepless nights to rest
Becomes refusing to complete the chore
Of loving me and giving me your best
Intensity has faded into gloom
Surrounding me in winter's open tomb

Someday, Not Now

Someday I will write the perfect poem
And all of your words will finally cease
The one in my heart that will bring you home
The one on my mind that will bring us peace
Someday I will sing you the perfect tune
And all of your fears will find their release
Inside of my arms, under an orange moon
We'll watch the beauty of our love increase
The years and seasons will stay in the past
Sorrowful memories old and rotten
Our tears and reasons will expire so fast
Holding hands as we walk through autumn
Someday I will wake up from these pale dreams
Until then, life will never be serene

Simple

I love you and I am not giving up
I stayed awake all night so you could sleep
I need the healing power of your touch
Your quiet strength abides when I am weak
Please don't discount my pain for something less
I'm longing for the love that we once made
I'm hurting that we're always in distress
Her change of heart has caused my hope to fade
I'm scared and lonely like a little girl
Whose lost her way back to her warm, safe home
You are my breath, my life, you are my world
Without you my security is gone
My words sound simple unlike yours today
I love you and I'm not going away

Your Change of Heart

And nothing that I say will bring you back
And nothing that I write will make you feel
The something that we had has turned to black
And something that you hurt will never heal
Now let me leave before you start to shake
The golden pen has lost the ink it held
Now let me go or I will surely break
The promise that you swore you'd never tell
God damn her for the turn that brought you home
God damn her for the smile upon your face
God damn me for the life I lead alone
God damn me for the loss of love and grace
And nothing that I write will make you see
You turned your back on me, your destiny

Unsharpened Faith

I need a miracle to save my soul
From digging into ground below my hope
My hands covered in soil feel worn and dull
Like knives drawn in past anger near your throat
Unsharpened faith will leave me nothing more
Than blades beneath blue waters -- rusting, old
Until they wash upon your distant shore
Surviving stories never to be told
My grave is deeper than the pain you gave
Red clay and dirt resemble bloodied wine
Reminders of my scar, the life we made
A symbol from a softer place and time
I used to believe in resurrection
Until someone murdered your affection

Taken

I tried to adorn the prettiest smile

You lost your heart beneath a simple kiss

We found our shoes could walk thousands of miles

She took the ties that secured our bliss

I tried to ignite the passion within

You lost heat in spite of my fears

We found old memories like long lost friends

She took all the warmth of those precious years

I tried to warn you that we would be dead

You lost faith in my connection to you

We found too many words were left unsaid

She took everything because she has you

I tried to bring your heart back to me

But lost you to her reciprocity

3:10

I aged a new sadness in the mirror
From reading your words inspired by her
Defeated by the way your soul feels her
Tears while mine pass you quickly like a blur
Its you crying over a slow dissolve
Again but with a twist of hopefulness
Those buried truths destroy my resolve
Sending me to a place of restlessness
And despair for the fact that you love her
In a way that you will never love me
My heart is telling me that it's over
That I should surrender and let you be
The last two were not simple poems
Just signs we will never make it home

Facing Misery

Misery, I thought you loved company
I held you in my arms like a newborn
Slowed my pace down so you could run with me
Mended your shredded soul when you felt torn
Misery you hid your heart, deceived me
While whispering to me you smiled at her
Those private words forced me to believe she
Had damaged your trust and love long before
Oh Misery, why can’t you just leave me
Alone is where I’ve been and so I’ll stay
Under the pain where no one will see me
No one will wonder why I’ve gone away
Misery you finally own my soul
I watch it disappear as you take control

Midnight Rain (Elizabeth Marie's Lullaby)

Sweet little baby, the stars shine for you
To the great heavens, they call out your name
Clouds moving slowly will transform into
A midnight canopy of falling rain
Sweet little baby, the moon smiles above
Upon your pillow, she rests her bright glow
Nearby I watch you with peace, joy and love
Your little mind dreaming of things that you know
Sweet precious baby, your eyes close again
As you lay dreaming of rainbow streaked skies
My heart bursts wide open when you begin
To flavor the night air with your soft sighs
Sweet little baby, the stars shine all night
Under a blanket of white sparkling light

Fate Wins

Hurt and pained in disbelief
                        this hole in my heart continues to bleed
                        Why take the best and make the worst
                        If only I had run away first

                        to escape the words that I would hear
                        and realize you were no longer near
                        I cannot speak or breathe tonight
                        my eyes burned open from reality's light

                        The knife will stay inside my soul
                        and twist each time I face the cold
                        For alone and empty I will remain
                        Beaten and bruised from Fate once again

Speechless Answer

I once asked you one moonlit night
                        a question so deep and true
                        If a picture is worth a thousand words
                        What is speechless worth to you?

                        To go away with no word or no reason
                        is to fuel my pain and sorrow
                        So now it's time for me to leave you
                        and say gooddbye to tomorrow

                        I'll never understand why or how
                        my greatest fear came true
                        But I'll always remember it killed my Soul
                        and there was nothing I could do

                        You took the only thing that I could give
                        and it will never be returned
                        My heart is pain, my mind is numb
                        and my trust is forever burned

                        Before I go I'd like to try
                        and answer that question as well
                        Speechless to me...without your love
                        is death, agony and Hell

You Said

You said you would never leave me
                        You said you would always care
                        You said that I could trust you
                        You said you would always be there

                        I told you I would never leave you
                        I told you I would always care
                        I told you that you could trust me
                        I told you I would always be there

                        I'm still here...

                        But now as I watch you turn and leave
                        and I swallow all of this pain
                        My chest caves into the bottomless hole
                        where my open heart once remained

Trouble

Night's closed eyes
                        on a moonlit Eve
                        Sorrow's bittersweet tears
                        upon her cheeks when she grieves

                        Turning from nowhere
                        Running past time
                        into the arms
                        of a dream more sublime

                        Confused and distraught
                        she tries to break free
                        from the pain and horror
                        of what will soon be

                        Greatest fears unkempt
                        Loss of her life and love
                        she cries out to the Stars
                        and the cold night above

                        Helpless and torn
                        into shreds of an end
                        She silently erases
                        the memory of a friend

Dark Angel

Dark angel
                        light my wings
                        fire on passion
                        Queen to your King

                        Cherish my thoughts
                        drink deep, hold near
                        Kiss my thoughts
                        destroy my fear

                        Feel my truth
                        beneath your touch
                        fly toward the night
                        and you'll find us

                        No space between
                        to keep us apart
                        Protect me and keep me
                        inside of your heart

                        My Dark Angel come
                        love away my pain
                        I turn to your arms
                        forever and again...

                        Forever and again

My Soul's Lament

Look in the mirror a reflection you see
                        but I see a prison holding me
                        Back from the life I'm supposed to know
                        into a place where I don't want to go
                        Not the endless creation of wonder and light
                        instead these tears I cry at night
                        They sting my eyes and burn my skin
                        Acidic reminders of needing him

                        I follow the Path and try my best
                        but wherever I turn I feel the test
                        upon my heart and though determined to win
                        I fall back down and have to try again
                        The steps feel steep and I'm alone
                        and if I reach the top there's no one home
                        It's dreams for me and nothing more
                        an endless fight, a revolving door

                        Peace and love are everywhere
                        but in my mind no one to share
                        the colorful pictures of the dawn
                        or quiet memories within a song
                        A smile can be so misleading
                        when the heart won't heal and the Soul is grieving
                        Did you not notice I didn't call
                        another day, another fall

                        An expert now at hiding my thoughts
                        willing them away so they remain lost
                        Tragically so I begin to feel less
                        ignoring my heart so it won't confess
                        Carefully though I arrange my words
                        so you can hear what you shouldn't have heard
                        Make you think that you know what you don't
                        Never revealing what I know that I won't

                        Leading you into a place called me
                        exposing the wounds that make me bleed
                        Destroying my defenses until I am weak
                        all the while wanting you to hear me speak
                        Allowing my Soul within to break free
                        behind this wall it's killing me
                        I never chose this way to live
                        so much love for you I selflessly give

                        But you can't share what you won't show
                        and I'm not convinced I want you to know
                        See the pain and confusion now
                        there was a way I thought somehow
                        Promises made and bound to be kept
                        but faces see shadows of rain cold and wet
                        Drying the sorrows with yesterday's hand
                        searching for someone who finally understands

                        The rocky hills climbed but up at the peak
                        I look down below to the rivers so deep
                        They flow like my passion but into nothing
                        yet calm like my sleep they symbolize something
                        Trusting and knowing the truth you will bring
                        hoping and waiting for a chance to release
                        the Spirit that stays within this unbreakable cast
                        Forced to remain upon footsteps from the past

                        I hear the wolf cry carried on the moon's wind
                        it calls me to battle a curse I can't win
                        The darkness beckons for me to take hold
                        but emerging from hiding I do not feel so bold
                        Fear tempts my sighs and hurts me again
                        I struggle to close my eyes and dive in
                        Accepting the things I cannot possibly change
                        recognizing that which I can rearrange

                        Asking for the courage and wisdom as well
                        turn away from the doubt that leads me to hell
                        Blinded by light that my heart will not know
                        Missing my home to which I never can go
                        Hope leads my heart still that maybe someway
                        we will have our life, our night and our day
                        But for now it's clear and painfully in view
                        this is my Soul's Lament to you

Reflection

Looking in the mirror
                        you like what you don't see
                        What's inside burning deep
                        is not reality

                        You try to paint a picture
                        to make yourself believe
                        The feelings dig in deeper
                        and hide within your grief

                        There is no explanation
                        for the power behind the thoughts
                        You stare for awhile to find
                        what you realize you have lost

                        You see the tears build quickly
                        and every drop is shed
                        Irrational thoughts and no reason
                        rule inside your head

                        The person you see before you
                        is not the strong one you think
                        Your web of fear beholds you
                        Dark feelings make you sink

                        Deeper into the you that really does not exist
                        Further away from the one you loved
                        you comfort yourself...
                        convince your mind...
                        brainwash your heart...

                        that you will not be missed

Alone

Treacherous ground
                        rocky paths
                        jagged like glass
                        cut into my hands
                        Struggling and fighting
                        to climb higher above it
                        my feet lose their balance
                        and I slip further down
                        Pain on my flesh
                        as I see places of safety
                        rush before my eyes
                        and still I fall
                        with nothing to hold onto
                        Never truly felt
                        believing I was
                        Hurting deeper each time
                        for what would never be
                        Even with my
                        sweetest perfection
                        never being met
                        all I could offer was me -
                        and it wasn't enough
                        Still falling and feeling
                        but knowing less
                        and saying little
                        I remain as always...

                        Alone

Tragedy of the Butterfly

Caught in the web
                        she cannot escape
                        Feeling the doom
                        meeting her Fate
                        Flapping her wings
                        that tear with each try
                        Sadly she dies
                        Beautiful Butterfly

The Stalker

The stalker walks behind me
                        like a sweet shadow in the night
                        She watches every move I make
                        and imitates my sight

                        She's quiet and reserved
                        ferocious when need be
                        Never leaving my darkness
                        her heart's inside of me

                        She protects my open soul
                        from sorrow and from pain
                        Lurking in and out of my mind
                        I find in her, a friend

                        She calms my fears by screaming
                        as loudly as she can
                        for I don't have the voice to shout
                        and tell you who I am

                        She listens when I'm feeling
                        things that I cannot believe
                        silently she dries my tears
                        as I turn to grieve

                        She reads this as I write to her
                        and truly knows my heart
                        I want to walk beside her

                        so we will never part

Fear

Fear destroys me everytime
                        my reasons hold no sanity
                        Heart feels heavy
                        thoughts are hands
                        gripping my throat
                        until I give in

                        Doubt consumes me everytime
                        my trust seems transparent
                        Heart feels torn
                        thoughts are knives
                        stabbing at my flesh
                        until I give in

                        Confusion consumes me everytime
                        my love is an unanswered question
                        Heart feels cold
                        thoughts are voices
                        screaming in my ears
                        tormenting my head
                        until I give in

"Apology"

The undeniable foolish beat
                        leads me astray
                        to the end of the road
                        jumping from cliff to ground
                        I cannot fly

                        My heart loses count
                        of the aches that surround my soul
                        emptiness and hopelessness
                        built around my steel wall
                        collide in a circle of a distant desire

                        Walking into the darkness
                        needing no guidance
                        I find sight in dreams
                        the stars silently cry
                        endless tears in my mind

                        Powerful triangle
                        seals itself closed
                        My heart bursts with love but
                        staring back at me
                        Fate feels no sympathy

                        Chaotic whispers
                        beating in my chest
                        deceive my strength
                        Fear comes again and
                        I am only alone

                        Find me somewhere
                        someday
                        along that road
                        searching, hurting
                        still missing you...

                        and walk on by

Rainy Goodbye

Cold and broken
                        numb to the pain
                        I wave goodbye
                        to you in the rain

                        You never stop
                        to turn around
                        My feet are heavy
                        upon the ground

                        I don't follow you
                        for fear you will say
                        Just let me go now
                        I cannot stay

                        But your words are mute
                        and you fade into the dark
                        as I watch you leave me
                        my world crumbles apart

                        I can barely see you
                        and hear only the words in my head
                        your silhouette is a ghost
                        and eternally, I am dead

Revelation

Deafened by the piercing sounds
                        of a silence heard but never found
                        Treacherous Love thou hast forsaken me
                        destroying my dreams of what will never be

                        Saddened from the bitter ache
                        of a heart known but would never take
                        Blasphemous Truth thou hast lead me astray
                        revealing my thoughts yet refusing my stay

                        Numb to the constant pain
                        of a distant soul I've found again
                        Betraying Trust thou hast made me reveal
                        unveiling my desire but never allowed me to feel

                        Leave me Honor --thou hast cast me into the fire
                        watch me burn to the ashes --

                        No one left to inspire

Hell

My feet began to sink
                        beaneath the lies he told
                        My hands reached out for Peace
                        'twas never to unfold

                        My arms torn limb from limb
                        numb to the pain I rose
                        My eyes were blinded black
                        my sorrow caged in woes

                        My legs could not move forth
                        lower to the ground I fell
                        chilled to my bones and empty heart
                        my face began to swell

                        Killer bees riddled with disease
                        were stinging my crimson red lips
                        My skin bled rivers and I could not break free
                        I sobbed for every last kiss

                        Each time I tried to swat them away
                        my ears began to ache
                        Searing pain and knives for rain
                        my spirit began to break

                        Filled with the cries of the dead and forgotten
                        my mind ceased to understand
                        Logic was dead, my thoughts insane
                        something was twisting my hand

                        Fire and daggers decorated my body
                        as my soul began to melt
                        My head almost under the utter emptiness
                        I now knew my Hell...

                        I was never felt

Say Goodbye

Hands roam free. Craving thee. Two passions burning.
                        Forbidden yearning. Hungry searching eyes. Open thighs.
                        Mouth piercing skin. Biting sin. Velvet red lips. Soft
                        fingertips. Body arching back. Desire black. A strong
                        thrust. Raw lust. Another deep penetration. No
                        conversation. Loving eyes stare. Very aware.
                        Overwhelming powerful explosion. Confusing devotion.
                        Quiet and hugged. Unconditionally loved. Sad and
                        unprotected. Reality Accepted. Endless haunting fears.
                        Painful tears. Bittersweet sorrow. No tomorrow. Time to
                        cry...

                        Say goodbye

Closed Door

Stop knowing my thoughts
                        it makes me crave you more
                        I'm screaming for Possibilities
                        my deafening knock on a closed door

                        Why is Fate so nervous
                        I'm hiding from what has to be
                        My heart is heavy and my mind is worn
                        Love, please leave me be

                        Still I long for you, search for you
                        your Touch just out of my grasp
                        I would...I can...I will...I do...
                        if only you could ask

                        The night offers no more safety
                        the darkness lurks and waits
                        I pry and pull and shout in vain
                        for Strength to break through your gates

                        My hands are bloody and bruised
                        Destiny has gone from my dreams
                        Tired and tortured my soul lies frozen
                        in a non-existent memory

Dealing

Misery's tears sting my eyes -- my head is reeling
                        How can you stare at me with no visible feeling
                        Cautious with each layer of me you were peeling
                        You said you could tell my heart needed healing
                        A smile so warm, inviting and appealing
                        Remember how I would use my mouth while kneeling
                        Or grip your skin tight while looking up at the ceiling
                        Memories are as forbidden as the trust you were stealing
                        Happiness and love fade while lies are revealing
                        The sick and cold reality that you would be dealing...

                        My head is still reeling

Ache

Just an ache...
                        A dull reminder at first
                        then constant
                        sneering at my heart's delicate shields
                        tearing my hope's strength
                        burying my deepest thoughts

                        Just an ache...
                        A dull pain at first
                        then hungry
                        devouring my desires
                        consuming my dreams
                        spitting out reality

                        Laughing, pointing, mocking...
                        always watching my happiness turn into
                        sorrow...

                        Just an ache

Twist

Scratch the surface of my thoughts
                        Dive deep into my mind
                        Like blood bringing life
                        Your sanity I will find

                        Take the knife of regret
                        twist and turn with me slowly... slowly... slowly...

                        Escape the hallowed ground
                        run far away from me
                        like death bringing peace
                        You will set me free

                        Take the knife of despair
                        twist and turn with me gently... gently... gently...

                        Sink past the black roses
                        feel tortured with my pain
                        like confusion bringing sleep
                        I will lose you once again

                        Take the knife of desire
                        twist and turn with me swiftly... swiftly... swiftly...

                        Slowly..
                        Gently...
                        Swiftly...

                        I will lose you

And Then We Said Goodbye

I need to run away
                        I want to break free
                        I have to leave this pain behind
                        It's killing me

                        The tears they sting
                        my eyes are red
                        your voice...resounding in my head

                        I need to feel your warm embrace
                        I want to be with you -
                        face to face
                        I have to go far away
                        There's so much you will never say

                        It hurts more than
                        you'll ever know
                        I couldn't find way to show you
                        everything

                        Time won't heal
                        this heart won't feel
                        the same love that grew
                        so strong...so real...

                        This is the end
                        how can you let go
                        I didn't intend to -
                        I'll always love you so

                        I can't feel now
                        or understand
                        why my dreams became
                        reality in your hands

                        Looking into your eyes
                        forever in my dreams
                        life was never meant to be
                        this way..
                        And then we say goodbye.

                        I was standing on the edge
                        feeling like I could fly...
                        You wrapped me in your soul...

                        And then we said goodbye

Doubt

Heavy thoughts take me far away
                        Night deceives my memory
                        Doubt consumes my heart's belief
                        and Pain takes hold of me

                        He smiles with such desire
                        and squeezes my insides
                        I struggle with desperation
                        and swallow all the lies

                        He strikes first at my love, second at my trust
                        third he cuts my strength
                        I die naked in the dark, no cloak to protect me
                        no path before me lay

                        The blood mixes death with tears from my soul
                        completely defeated hopeless and gone
                        I'm battered and torn no longer can fly...

                        Damage and Destruction have won ~

Plea

My Dark Angel
                        be with me here
                        The wolves are gaining
                        insanity leers

                        Drink of my thoughts
                        Taste my desire
                        Shield me through
                        the soul-stripping fires

                        Hold me close now
                        protect me from fate
                        Watch as I struggle
                        to open the gate

                        Draw up your sword
                        as I sink further below
                        Bleed pain for me...
                        Wherever I go

                        I cannot fight against
                        this strength all alone
                        Defeat it for me
                        then carry me home

Story Told

Candles lit.
Blood red lips.
Silky thread.
Tempting bed.
Creamy skin.
Inviting friend.
Eyes that pierce.
Hunger  fierce.
Aching sighs.
Pleasurable high.
Lusty fairytales.
Darkness unveils.
Longing greed.
Desires freed.
Twist and turn.
Deeply yearn.
Pain without.
Scream and shout.
Hurting deep.
Wanting sleep.                                    
Dreaming  again.
Cannot win.
Never goodbye.
Dark Angel flies.
Thoughts above.
Invisible love.

Soul to soul...

                        Story told.

Chaos

Hazy chaos stirs within
                        that which is over cannot begin
                        Taking the darkness
                        into my soul
                        let it consume me;
                        make me whole
                        Thorns on the path
                        dig deep and I bleed
                        prisoner of silence
                        damgaging me
                        Stumbling in darkness
                        I fall, I fail
                        Calling on strength
                        to lend me her sail
                        Drowning in pain
                        my sorrow won't heal
                        finding my vein
                        one last cut I feel
                        Lifeless and still
                        I watch myself die
                        into the night
                        on Death's wings
                        I fly

Loss

I crawled across broken glass
                        shattered thoughts
                        pierced hands and knees
                        I bled for you
                        I wept for you

                        I walked into the fire
                        broken needs
                        held lifeless sighs
                        I gasped for you
                        I choked for you

                        I lay in my grave
                        frozen desires
                        buried body and soul
                        I hurt for you
                        I died for you

Concrete

That peaceful soothing tune
transforms my fear
into a will newly resolved
into a promise strong and clear
Until the tune fades slowly
and my hand touches my cheek;
Why give transparent love
endlessly, selflessly
when the only lover
worthy of my soul
is concrete