Distress

Upon this soft bed your skin touches mine
As you curl up your fist to punch my face
Whisper in my ear, memorize my sighs
Drying dark, crimson streaks around my grace
Kiss me, cradle me, breathe me into you
Hold my head up high to hit me again
Protect me like the lover I once knew
Rape my self respect like it's not a sin
Wipe my tears away when I am weeping
Or just walk out the door and forget me
Return to my dreams when I am sleeping
I've tried to love you but you won't let me
My battered heart is in constant distress;
Beating me senseless would hurt so much less

Enough

He's screaming again
the loneliness is tearing at him
My jagged edged razor feels softer
than the piercing blades of fate
Cutting deep into my heart
quickly carving out my hate
Burning to touch you
bring you back into dreams
Sleeping papers in closed letters
limitless serenities
But shatter the silence
like aged, broken bones
for hearing such lies
take the hypocritical oath
Shove it down her alibis
round two awaits...
He repeatedly rubs his eyes
his futile mind contemplates:
Too tired to fight -
Too tired to win -
aching to change this life
He's screaming again

Halfway Across the Universe

Just picture me
tonight
lying motionless
in bed
tears streaming
tangible joys
down my flushed face
As I trace the midnight stars
beyond concrete roof
hanging over my mind
the kind that replaces
a glass ceiling ready to be
permanently broken
for the sake of loving you
I hold my sighs
I can see it lifting...
And somewhere soon
at the bottom of a canyon
behind a growing tree
under an aging bridge,
beneath that blinding moon
I'll find that you will meet me
while those notes appear silently ---
and reveal a precious history
Comforting melodies
will stretch and pull together
their intertwining arms of faith
halfway across the universe
just to bring us home

Yellowed

I've become an empty aging canvas
Yellowed, forgotten by your missing touch
I brought peace whenver you felt restless
Inspired life created by your brush
You talked to me and shared your private dreams
I sat with patience hoping you would draw
Some lines across my silkened virgin screen
Perhaps you never needed me at all
Now kept inside this crowded attic room
Boxed colors to my left and to your right
I call upon your glowing midnight moon
To redefine my soul from black to white
You are absent with other art to keep
I've faded in the darkened attic heat

Transforming Shapes

This spirited season brings sharp winds
that shake my crisp leaves down
past my feet where my will won't move on
landing on deadened grass
Anniversary of warmer falls
seeds planted carefully
awaiting a late June summer bloom
nurtured by a rare rain
Shifting uncomfortably
in the same jeans that lay on the floor
which caught the stream of light
and the shape of love creating more
October skies transform into dark
soggy, wet leaves to sweep

Overdrawn

This investment plan is wrong
When you are stressed
and need to be relieved
I'm right there
with anything you need
But when I'm depressed
and come to you
asking for a return
or even a loan
from loving and caring for you
You charge me unpayable interest
with your stiff silence implying
that I am overdrawn

Across

Insignificant drought of
Denial and apathy
Over walking on a bridge
Near dangerous falls
Take me far beyond
Crayola bright city lights
Across from antique
Retired, restless thoughts
Enter my conscience
Anything with reason goes
Tell yourself to be neutral
And simply
Let this agile love
Literally decompose

Question in the Dark

The dark night sky surrounded us
but it felt brighter and warmer
than the cold emptiness chilling my skin
The sound of scraping limbs
like winter growing his bare tree
inside of my missing heart
pierced my frustration too wide --
And why were we sitting so far apart
When I asked the question?
I thought I knew the answer
as I studied your invisible inflections
until you stared blankly through me
right past my cast iron impression
Nodding your head silently
too assuredly, almost ironically
you said yes
My God! That's what you said!
I sunk into the abyss of titanium
emotionally redundant dread
Now in the aftershock of that moment
though I only wanted truth
I had hoped to replace
your old one way mirror
with love's promising youth
Finding complete security
within you and eventually in me
I realize now
someway, somehow
it will always never be me

Achilles Heel

World revolving clearly
around your sheer facade
Are you only fearing
to solidify your mirage?
Unaware, you flippantly toss
your careless, thoughtless words
Into my private mortality
you continue to deepen the hurt
False hope that I carry for us
that someday you will realize
I've placed my energy into
something that has already died
To you my wound is insignificant
It's merely a returning blister
To me it's a ruptured Achilles heel
because you are less than a sister

Vines

The twisting vine around my heart tightens
As green thorns shoot into my fleshless soul
I squint my eyes while jealousy heightens
Into a thought that never will unfold
My greedy love continues to torment you
This selfish angry monster hides within
You'll never understand the world from my view
Patterns of doubt will not let me pretend
The spear I hold is too small to battle
Nine coils of serpents wrapped around my feet
By the tree I hear a distant rattle
Despair lurks nearby waiting to take me
And when the vines are cut by your displeasure
I bleed out my new insecurities

Too Hard, Too fast

Carnal animal sex.
Dissatisfied your need.
A Fuck and go --
Hurry up. Too slow.
It's all I seem to be.
Move me to the side.
Chain me to the bed.
Open up my legs.
Pin me with your thighs.
Force fantasies into my head.
Sweat me off your brow.
Slap me from my dreams.
My body and soul.
Just sexed and controlled.
I don't mean anything.
Loose, casual sex.
Not some sweet memory.
A fucking whore.
And nothing more.
Is something I can't be.

Spill

I really don't want to spill anymore
You just stand there staring blankly
as my tears fall to the floor
And you seem irritated with me
perhaps view it as a chore
to help wash away my sadness
so often you choose to ignore
the simple words you could say
instead of attempting a false rapport
I won't ask you for your help
as the mess travels under the door
I'll clean up my own emotions
Just like I've done before

Returning Thoughts

I sit and stare behind a broken glass
Just waiting for some sound to make you move
My heart retreats with longing for the past
Although your lawful mind will disapprove
Of songs I sing to lighten this dark night
And dreams I call to take away my hurt
Returning thoughts to justify my rights
When jealousies and heightened fears return
And there someone lies sleeping in a room
Oblivious to how you really feel
An unborn child waiting in the womb
Nearsighted to the cold life might reveal
The stars divide inside their space above
I wonder why you show me less than love

Obsidian

The moon casts down her uncomfortable gaze
knowing I blame her for our loss of time
Like ice cubes melting slowly in the shade,
minutes disappear with seconds behind
We stand with patience where we first began
but everything changes around our hearts
Constantly reaching up for stronger hands
to pull us back from being far apart
Airplane lights twinkling high in the sky
make me think forever has brought you back;
They reflect a tear in my doubting eyes
and my bright, shimmering hope fades to black
I'm left alone holding the midnight rain
under the clouds of obsidian grey

Weaning

He screams and cries
as I take him to his own bed
But it feels worse to me
because it's the first step
to weaning you away
from my heart and my head