Lullaby Sings Goodnight (Ronald's Lullaby)

Lullaby sings goodnight
for thy mother's delight
Rest your head, little baby
'till morning is high
Close your eyes and dream away
and tomorrow, we'll play
Close your eyes and dream awhile
then wake up with a smile

Lullaby sings goodnight
for my child's delight
Rest your head, little darling
'till morning shines bright
Then once more, we will go
to the happiness we know
Then once more we will be
building our memories

Lullaby sings goodnight...
Lullaby sings goodnight...

Fuel

They spoke loudly
and I really listened
Heard their causes
their anger and pain
felt their rush
we're all the same
deep down...
As the rain split the roof
like hurling darts on a board above
I was moved, motivated, comforted
it only made me think of us
Now the answer comes to me quickly
to the question she asked me
How do you stay so inspired?
Because the love you have for me
give to me so selflessly
even when your soul is tired
ignites me, fuels my words like a free-burning
unextinguishable, everlasting eternal fire

Strong

You are feeling
so healthy and strong
but I am feeling stronger
because I no longer have to wait
trustless, without hope
for your love to validate
my obsessive desire
to make right from wrong

Little Hands (For Jonathan)

I didn't know
God had such little hands
but felt them
when you touched my eyes
To dry my tears
from two dark nights
and take the sadness from my sighs

Knife and Gun

My words cut deeply
Berating and assuming
Your words shot silence

Losing Control

The devious music takes me away
Like a silky, sexy, seductive flirt
Turns my mind to the floor --leads me astray
The vibrations start to lift up my skirt
It knows how to find my passionate soul
I hear no voice but it still calls my name
Allows me to let go --just lose control
Trembling, sweating between pleasure and shame
Pushing me forward like sex from behind
Diving deeper into my desire
An orgasmic, sweet climactic design
Body breathes heat like smoke kissing fire

When the music fades, I'll stay on the floor
One finger to my red lips mouthing more

Sisters (For Pam, Rachel and Jess)

Nothing can replace
the angelic thread
connected between those
sharing by birth
the beautiful journey
of life's infinite miles
But something in me
desires to be your sister
longs for that golden twine
to be wrapped around my heart
forever tied to yours
filled with an upsweep of love
like a neverending smile

* Just because I don't write every day...doesn't mean I don't think of you.

Zen

Even the Bluebird of Happiness
builds his nest with faith
gathering the perfect strings
But if you feel the need to escape
spring's wayward, backbending breeze
Find your private zen --
within

Bad Place

I hate having to frequent
a place that I loathe
Like wearing clothes which
don't fit my personality
Or watching a baby
throw a screaming fit
while everyone near you
tells you half-heartedly
"he's not really that upset."

Wash

Warm running water
Soap and tears wash the glasses
Dry my hands and eyes

Again

No more bad weekends
I don't want to go back there
We already have

June

His soft skin, a new life
Heart and soul are somewhere else
Time cut short again

Ebb and Flow

You ebb and flow
like a rotten tide
crashing and frothing
on a forgotten shore
You walk painfully upon us
like annoying pebbles
digging into and engraving
your tired feet
Ignore the comfort
of the salty breeze
caressing gently
across your sleepy soul
You rise and fall
drowning my voice -
a soft, sweet song
but you make the choice
to hear it so wrong,
so silent, so off-key
The rough waters of you
hold me dangerously high
into the black empty sky
then throw me down swiftly
with perfect decision
deep into the sea

Approaching another June

You won't come looking for me
Ironically, technology
the one point of distance
you would never cross
to get through to me
is your soul tranquility
I have to open the morning news
with the rest of the public
to find out your latest creativity
Stay safe and free

You don't need me.

Open Door

You carelessly opened the door too wide
Allowing those strangers eyes to linger
Naked, exposed, I quickly tried to hide
The gold stain from you around my finger
Drawn to the possibility of fame
You borrowed our memories and our dreams
Write quickly and whisper all but my name
Conjure the night ghost to create your themes
I'll quiet in dawn with restless concern
But turn a blank stare to words that can mend
Love is a privacy few hearts can earn
When lost by the solitude of a friend
My cold hand turns each invisible page
Filling my soul with irreparable age

Following Behind

My heart feels empty walking through your steps
The deepened fear that someone else is there
Haunts my mind and will not let me rest
Our comfort in each other's love and care
I wonder if my words still catch your eye
Or simply fall into the golden mix
Of awkward songs that need to be revised
With silent nods and preferential picks
The difference is abundant in your voice
Regardless of your demonstrative call
When someone else is waiting for your choice
I feel like I have no chance left at all

My frightened heart needs much more protection
From your divided love and affection

Seeds

The spring allows new hope for planted seeds
      A softer love will grow from tainted ground;
      Don't say the rose was never meant to breathe
      Those tiny petals are her only sound
      Call upon the rain to stop her wilting
      Demand the storm to turn from black to grey
      Melting ice has summer feeling guilty
      But winter song has one more note to play
      A cooler breeze will gently kiss her lips
      While warmer sunshine incubates her skin
      Remove the rose from winter's selfish tricks
      And find a place where she can bloom and give
      More seeds will fall to multiply new hope
      To breed the path where lovers come and go

Motivation

The motivation
came suddenly --
swiftly propelling me
into the hot morning air
forcing in me
a determination
to ignore my hurt
to break through the pain
to surpass my usual time
And the one thought
that fueled me
legs burning fire
heart pounding to an ache
while the tears became sweat
around my eyes
was for twenty four hours
someone imprisoned you
and I wasn't worth the try

Quiet Sunday

I feel the choice
your voice is muffled
Even my words
cannot color the emptiness
or paint the depth
of the blank stare
that holds me aware
Sunday, quiet Sunday

Fake

Pretend to appreciate
the sadness that you generate
as if by some inventive mistake --
you can fake my sympathy

Blade of Grass

The midnight frown upon her face
                        wanting only to share the peace
                        Finding dead ends at every road
                        trudging backward to her humble abode

                        This box of emptiness where she rests
                        misleading symbol of questions and tests
                        Knowing she would find her hidden desire
                        beyond the green grass guarded with fire...

                        For whom would she sing a silent lullabye
                        While the moon illuminated one tear from her eye?
                        At last she could dream for one if not two
                        and into her thoughts she no longer withdrew

                        The plan and the parts that she would play
                        seemed to reveal and light the way
                        With passion her guide and love as her duel
                        Never to concede or pay the fool...

                        What have you brought upon her mind
                        some happiness she believed she'd never find
                        And what of the promise to her you should make
                        to cherish, honor and appreciate

                        She breathes alone to isolate your heart
                        her love inspires the painter's art
                        Only to fulfill your desperate need
                        Smiles that beckon the strong to concede

                        Softest whisper into your faith
                        a planet's paradox within its wrath
                        For now soothing winds she brings to you
                        upon a blessing of trust and truth

                        And low, the angel his whisper bade
                        a constant nurture to the greenest blade
                        The grass would grow full like her love
                        Grace and triumph from God's hand above

                        Assign to her the infinite task
                        to submit to you the dawn of the past
                        And the future will bring the life that bore
                        the creation of a man for her to adore...

                        She worships to obsession the possibility...
                        that life can grow from futility

Empty

Missing appetite
Tree of life bears fruit to eat
You've lost your hunger

Archive

An archive of memories
stabs at my heart
corrupting my sleep
when we are far apart
Quick justification
will not concede
the difficult future
those choices concieved
And though forgiveness
has taken her place
The fresh slap lingers
once more across my face

Downgrade

Strength comes in many forms
though I was torn to ask
the rather trivial question
Your silence
in between thoughts
became my momentary obsession
After the answer, inside of the truth
I decided to appreciate the trust
and not care so damn much
about the little things

Learning Too much

Only a fool
would deeply treasure
every speck of dust
that covered the paper
which represented
a place we would go
Enclosed in plastic
surrounded by intensity
it manages to grow
But I'm learning
hard lesson as it is
to let it all go
How to carefully measure
the devotion to you
that I cannot show
Only a fool
would value so much
of your contagious smile
and your tender touch
that shouldn't mean anything
to others -- but does to me

I'm learning too much

Sensitivity Turnaround

You can't live your life
with blinders on
But every time
you take someone else
and start to trespass
upon those quiet and beautiful
memories and moments
that we shared
I wish you would use filters
to remind you
and gently guide
your forgotten
and slightly impaired
turnaround of sensitivity

Green

It confuses me
when I see your eyes
asking for green
in between your sighs

It makes me so blue
not to know why
your favorite color is green
everytime

Acidify

My heart is brewing
Fermenting disappointment
Churning the sadness

Lonely Wednesday

I don't have much time
before the storm rolls in
and I have to hide from him
So can you please
just this once
stay with me
even though
your lunch is waiting
just say no
Because you have to go
and protect someone
from being swept away
into the cold and dark
grey of a lonely Wednesday

Squeeze

If you squeeze the crystal
around the center
with both hands
on either side
very tightly
but hold on gently
The glass will stay
in tact, safe and solid
held in your hands
But if you move your fingers
even slightly apart
I will shatter
shards of sadness
all over your carelessness
deep into your skin

And the blood will start

Aspergers

I stared at the floor
for a second time
though it isn't fatal --
it's a shocking line
It explains so many mysteries
that I didn't notice before
But my scared, selfish heart
wanted to run out the door
and scream I can't do this once more!
One moved around us
as if we were trees
those not so subtle movements
put my mind at un-ease
Chatting to himself
about heroes in his head
The other kept repeating
what I just had said
And continued to ignore
all of my learned patience
to slowly encourage or solicit
some simple conversation
My ears strained to focus
on all of the "next steps"
But my emotions were scattered
on the path of strength I had recently swept
His voice trailed off sympathetically
to reassure my falling tears
But nothing tonight, alone and depressed
will soothe my deepest fears

I didn't see it for eight whole years...

Lay Down Your Head

My sweet sleepy baby, lay down your head
The moon will bring you her soft lullaby
Just lie here with me so warm in our bed
And soon, the rising sun will greet the sky

My sweet sleepy darling, go to your dreams
I'll quietly soothe you and sing to you
Watch the raindrops fall from an angel's wings
And turn into a flower's morning dew

My sweet sleepy child, lay down your head
Now I have spoken this soft lullaby
Take with you tomorrow, all that I've said
Long after darkness has bid his goodbye

Take with you tomorrow all of my joy
Wrapped in this blanket, my sweet baby boy

Possible Simplicity

Sometimes when you see my face
you think I'm happier this way
My hopes and dreams wither to waste
and thoughts of you may soon betray
This never after that has become
some bitter ending to give away
and certain that I'm prepared to run
You suddenly find the words to say
Please stay
I found it, felt it, need your touch
through emptiness and cruelty
Inside the promise of your trust
It finally occured to me
You will never have to leave
If I give you all of me
Rainy days will wet my smile
cloudy nights bring sheltered sleep
Even if only for a shortened while
I'll cherish these moments of ours to keep
My heart will treasure all of these
and stay forever...
if you simply love me

Complete Parts

I sit here so longingly
knees pressed to my chest
looking out of the window
tiny sighs replacing my breath
Watching you somewhere
through the sunsetting sky
acutely in-tune
with the passing of time
This is the evening
you will walk into my heart
coming home finally
after being so far apart
In one passionate motion
you will lay me down,
press your body against mine
without making a sound
And tell me with your eyes
how desperately you need me
rebirth us with soft touches
a new calm and security
Reassure me with your lips
You want this
Reaching out past my silhouette
desire lined in the dark
Feel my heart collapse
into a million complete parts

The Runner

Runner's legs grow weak
Inhale you, exhale me
Breathing side by side

The Wish

I looked up at the moon
through one single
slightly swaying branch
Felt the wind glance sideways
to the city sky
filled with dancing stars
Distracted by the millions of cars
and people traveling nowhere
In this boxed world
of memories and futures
humans made from Godlike foam
I desperately wondered aloud
to the silent, patient lights
How long will it be
until I'm inside of your arms
pointing at the one twinkling star
I wished upon
to bring you home