I must have been
horrible and selfish
in my last life
to have to now endure
such tragic pain
The once cool and cleansing waters
burn my gentle flesh
like a growing acid rain
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Plea
Silently God, I pray to you again
please send me someone's heart to know and love
Created from the softness found within
an angel's hands from somewhere up above
Patiently, I will wait the passing years
bringing pure faith, teaching him how to hope
Carrying burdens and fighting his fears
lending my strength when he's too weak to cope
Faithfully God, I ask of you once more
please trust me with someone's hesitation
To love another soul, and be adored
humbled by my reconcilliation
Honestly God, he's more than just a dream
I'm begging for you now to intervene
please send me someone's heart to know and love
Created from the softness found within
an angel's hands from somewhere up above
Patiently, I will wait the passing years
bringing pure faith, teaching him how to hope
Carrying burdens and fighting his fears
lending my strength when he's too weak to cope
Faithfully God, I ask of you once more
please trust me with someone's hesitation
To love another soul, and be adored
humbled by my reconcilliation
Honestly God, he's more than just a dream
I'm begging for you now to intervene
Upon Returning Home
You brought me back
into your strong arms
with that charming smile
and the reassuring look
in your sparkling blue eyes
that said softly
Welcome home, my love,
it has only been a little while
into your strong arms
with that charming smile
and the reassuring look
in your sparkling blue eyes
that said softly
Welcome home, my love,
it has only been a little while
Your Songs
Please sing another song to me, my dear
Your voice becomes the mirror of our peace
Reflecting joy and love --it brings you here
Upon this bed where lovers' music meets
The melody and harmony will play
As skin to skin we synchronize our tunes
The rythm of our movements will not fade
And summer sounds will echo heat in June
This tango of our souls cannot compete
With hymns or verses sung in sweetened rhyme
Our breathless sighs become the sweaty beat
While passion's notes resound within our eyes
When you sing your beautiful songs to me
I know how perfect life can really be
Your voice becomes the mirror of our peace
Reflecting joy and love --it brings you here
Upon this bed where lovers' music meets
The melody and harmony will play
As skin to skin we synchronize our tunes
The rythm of our movements will not fade
And summer sounds will echo heat in June
This tango of our souls cannot compete
With hymns or verses sung in sweetened rhyme
Our breathless sighs become the sweaty beat
While passion's notes resound within our eyes
When you sing your beautiful songs to me
I know how perfect life can really be
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Spiral
It seems my soft touch was not enough
to keep you here for one more hour
or less if I should ask as much
so now the night begins to sour
We talk of ifs as though we learned
to take advantage of the time
But live in hindsight overturned
and bury forgiveness inside of rhyme
Somewhat like my poetry
I feel even more insecurity
Goodnight to me
is good morning to you
And unfortunately recently
there are so few...
to keep you here for one more hour
or less if I should ask as much
so now the night begins to sour
We talk of ifs as though we learned
to take advantage of the time
But live in hindsight overturned
and bury forgiveness inside of rhyme
Somewhat like my poetry
I feel even more insecurity
Goodnight to me
is good morning to you
And unfortunately recently
there are so few...
8:00
Around eight o' clock tonight
it surprised me, overwhelmed me --
that insatiable desire
to tenderly kiss your lips
And this whispered memory
wrapped in warm, searching bliss
found its way to my thoughts
lingering there patiently
waiting for your touch
I miss you so much
As the song of us
played in a nearby room
I glanced at the moon settling down
into her night's peaceful dreams
desperately longing for your hands
to gently caress my growing fantasy
I remembered how making love to you
was the ultimate crescendo of ecstasy
it surprised me, overwhelmed me --
that insatiable desire
to tenderly kiss your lips
And this whispered memory
wrapped in warm, searching bliss
found its way to my thoughts
lingering there patiently
waiting for your touch
I miss you so much
As the song of us
played in a nearby room
I glanced at the moon settling down
into her night's peaceful dreams
desperately longing for your hands
to gently caress my growing fantasy
I remembered how making love to you
was the ultimate crescendo of ecstasy
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Once, Tonight
And now I know with tears I cannot hide
The place your heart and mind went for awhile
To write and write and write but not to bide
Your time with me until you saw my smile
I've been through this with you too many times
And all you do is hang your head for now
But someone else will always catch your eye
With better prose minus the precious vow
So now my pen resides inside its box
The hurt will keep its love and words at bay
Those words that gave us life will now be locked
The poetry in my mind fades to grey
Once, a word from you was like a soft kiss
Tonight I feel like nothing but a tryst
The place your heart and mind went for awhile
To write and write and write but not to bide
Your time with me until you saw my smile
I've been through this with you too many times
And all you do is hang your head for now
But someone else will always catch your eye
With better prose minus the precious vow
So now my pen resides inside its box
The hurt will keep its love and words at bay
Those words that gave us life will now be locked
The poetry in my mind fades to grey
Once, a word from you was like a soft kiss
Tonight I feel like nothing but a tryst
Unoriginal Rhyme
Forget traditional forms
and iambic rules
you hurt me deeply
I feel like a fool
These words were all I had
for you at one time
and now they are simply
lines of unoriginal rhyme
This place contains
a diary of my soul:
memories of our flesh
and stories we haven't told
You treat it like some
time consuming aferthought
listening closer
only when we have fought
But I felt it tonight
and knew you were preoccupied
when I read it I felt
perpetual pain rise inside
It does come first
and I should understand
you have so much to do
to accomplish your plan
But balance and limits
are echoes of fear
You shouldn't condone them
not with me here
I think of those times
at the foot of your bed
or the stunning moments
when you finally said
How much you love me
and need me in your life
but tonight I feel
the jagged edge of your knife
Salted wounds of envy
break open, sting and burn
while pangs of regret bleed
what I should have learned
Maybe it doesn't matter
when I take the time
to praise your clever songs
and share what is on my mind
Oh how you inspire
every part of me
If you could only feel my touch
I know that you would see
How very much I love you...
But Why am I bothering to speak?
You are already asleep
and iambic rules
you hurt me deeply
I feel like a fool
These words were all I had
for you at one time
and now they are simply
lines of unoriginal rhyme
This place contains
a diary of my soul:
memories of our flesh
and stories we haven't told
You treat it like some
time consuming aferthought
listening closer
only when we have fought
But I felt it tonight
and knew you were preoccupied
when I read it I felt
perpetual pain rise inside
It does come first
and I should understand
you have so much to do
to accomplish your plan
But balance and limits
are echoes of fear
You shouldn't condone them
not with me here
I think of those times
at the foot of your bed
or the stunning moments
when you finally said
How much you love me
and need me in your life
but tonight I feel
the jagged edge of your knife
Salted wounds of envy
break open, sting and burn
while pangs of regret bleed
what I should have learned
Maybe it doesn't matter
when I take the time
to praise your clever songs
and share what is on my mind
Oh how you inspire
every part of me
If you could only feel my touch
I know that you would see
How very much I love you...
But Why am I bothering to speak?
You are already asleep
Ridiculous Ramble
Where is my pen?
I must go and write!
This sadness is growing
and replacing the light
that our love once brought
in the middle of the day
and I'm not sure why
it has gone away
My words are simple
bordering on trite
but you're the reason I'm awake
in the darkness of night
when others are sleeping
arm around arm
and a sigh keeps them safe
like a loving alarm
Do you think I write poetry
to hear myself whine
I'm defeated by your will
and your lack of time
If I had known long ago
that your ability to stay cool
would transform me into
a ridiculous rambling fool...
Would I have allowed love
to be so unkind and cruel
I must go and write!
This sadness is growing
and replacing the light
that our love once brought
in the middle of the day
and I'm not sure why
it has gone away
My words are simple
bordering on trite
but you're the reason I'm awake
in the darkness of night
when others are sleeping
arm around arm
and a sigh keeps them safe
like a loving alarm
Do you think I write poetry
to hear myself whine
I'm defeated by your will
and your lack of time
If I had known long ago
that your ability to stay cool
would transform me into
a ridiculous rambling fool...
Would I have allowed love
to be so unkind and cruel
Sleep
Sleep waits for me
I sense her near
And some years from now
I will finally leave
your careless silence
leaning against the wall
and crawl into my bed
of permanent hibernating dreams
I sense her near
And some years from now
I will finally leave
your careless silence
leaning against the wall
and crawl into my bed
of permanent hibernating dreams
Ungrasped
Slowly
Steadily
I am transforming
into the one
you thought you wanted
This metamorphasis
is dangerously disarming
my will to stay close
is constantly fading
I'll hold my breath
for as long as I can
remaining silent
until you finally speak;
Releasing it only
to kiss which hand
had promised to hold mine
while climbing up this peak
As quickly as your pseudo-grasp
loosens its grip --
I end this trip
Steadily
I am transforming
into the one
you thought you wanted
This metamorphasis
is dangerously disarming
my will to stay close
is constantly fading
I'll hold my breath
for as long as I can
remaining silent
until you finally speak;
Releasing it only
to kiss which hand
had promised to hold mine
while climbing up this peak
As quickly as your pseudo-grasp
loosens its grip --
I end this trip
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Crash
I'm soaring like a bird upon this high
surrounded by the beauty of your love
My breath inhales a calm and then I sigh
through passing clouds and happiness above
But with a word or lack of one I crash
unable to remain in flight alone
I close my eyes and will for it to pass
But sadness overwhelms me and I'm done
My wings lose strength and fold to mask my heart
while gravity pulls swiftly at my height
The force begins to rip my mind apart
Helplessly I fall far out of your sight
When I finally slam into the ground
I lay broken with no one around
surrounded by the beauty of your love
My breath inhales a calm and then I sigh
through passing clouds and happiness above
But with a word or lack of one I crash
unable to remain in flight alone
I close my eyes and will for it to pass
But sadness overwhelms me and I'm done
My wings lose strength and fold to mask my heart
while gravity pulls swiftly at my height
The force begins to rip my mind apart
Helplessly I fall far out of your sight
When I finally slam into the ground
I lay broken with no one around
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Viewing
Her hands disturbed me the most
Not the ghostlike eerie sleep
imposed upon her frozen shell
Her mouth fell slightly at the corner
as if she were only dreaming
unaware of people around her
sighing and weeping
But I could tell at once
life had truly taken leave of her
When I lightly brushed her skin
and the lifegiving, sustaining blood
had simply vanished within
Not the ghostlike eerie sleep
imposed upon her frozen shell
Her mouth fell slightly at the corner
as if she were only dreaming
unaware of people around her
sighing and weeping
But I could tell at once
life had truly taken leave of her
When I lightly brushed her skin
and the lifegiving, sustaining blood
had simply vanished within
Goodnight to Dreams
I said goodnight to you
but the night refused
to grant me rest
under such unhappy news
The dream of family and hearthside calm
has turned to nightmarish places
where final lines are drawn
And the peaceful home
I have desperately sought
is simply a broken branch
of the twisted oak tree
high above the ground
where old fruit rots
but the night refused
to grant me rest
under such unhappy news
The dream of family and hearthside calm
has turned to nightmarish places
where final lines are drawn
And the peaceful home
I have desperately sought
is simply a broken branch
of the twisted oak tree
high above the ground
where old fruit rots
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Different Reasons
Remember that sweet summer breeze in June
Just as the sun would set upon our day
That comforting presence within the room
While we talked and I watched our children play
An exclamation point to our goodbye
Would cleverly mask life’s uncertainty
But the growing softness in your replies
Easily soothed my insecurities
Time rushes away with our past in hand
I scrape your cold dinner into the trash
Calendars remind you to meet demands –
But never the ones that I gently ask
Does it all disappear due to seasons
Or will I leave for different reasons
Just as the sun would set upon our day
That comforting presence within the room
While we talked and I watched our children play
An exclamation point to our goodbye
Would cleverly mask life’s uncertainty
But the growing softness in your replies
Easily soothed my insecurities
Time rushes away with our past in hand
I scrape your cold dinner into the trash
Calendars remind you to meet demands –
But never the ones that I gently ask
Does it all disappear due to seasons
Or will I leave for different reasons
Thursday, December 7, 2006
Your Biography
Your biography broke me apart tonight
I know she was at the start with you
steel hoop around your heart
but it's as if we never existed
Your pride for her shines through louder
than the tears she will never let you cry
I stand silently and get no reply...
You mention her everywhere
and I'm no longer there
Not like before
when you came through the door
and held home inside of your arms
Now you ignore the alarms going off
inside of your mind
You've replaced affection
and careless protection
with important tasks
and I'm afraid to ask to be loved
and nurtured
for fear of hurting you
into the usual anger
It was real!
But I can't remind you
to feel the softness of my skin
or the salty sadness in my tears
You don't really see my smile
and it's been awhile since we have...
Your priorities are beyond numbering
and we are constantly fumbling for ways
to tell each other
"I'm so sorry"
Tonight there is a feeling
I just can't shake --
I am nothing but your mistake
I know she was at the start with you
steel hoop around your heart
but it's as if we never existed
Your pride for her shines through louder
than the tears she will never let you cry
I stand silently and get no reply...
You mention her everywhere
and I'm no longer there
Not like before
when you came through the door
and held home inside of your arms
Now you ignore the alarms going off
inside of your mind
You've replaced affection
and careless protection
with important tasks
and I'm afraid to ask to be loved
and nurtured
for fear of hurting you
into the usual anger
It was real!
But I can't remind you
to feel the softness of my skin
or the salty sadness in my tears
You don't really see my smile
and it's been awhile since we have...
Your priorities are beyond numbering
and we are constantly fumbling for ways
to tell each other
"I'm so sorry"
Tonight there is a feeling
I just can't shake --
I am nothing but your mistake
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Holiday Hallucination
The shimmering bright lights are blurry
holiday hallucinations -- reminders of the time
you don't have to spend with me
or even pretend to want to
9:30 PM leaves a bad taste in my mouth
like some stupid one hit wonder
And so the second hand chimes
pulling the rug out from underneath my stability
The ability to hold my breath escapes me
and I am falling to the floor
Passive moments place forced comments
inside of my heart
and they age me
like a sour wine --
they ferment into emptiness
and start to multiply uneasiness
My stomach feels the queasiness
like it did upon seeing the box today
I tried so hard to convey how much you mean to me
with a gift --
a small gift
but battered and torn
it didn't come out that way...
You are worn and have had enough
of me, of us
It's just as well
that I have nothing else to say
You wouldn't fucking notice anyway
holiday hallucinations -- reminders of the time
you don't have to spend with me
or even pretend to want to
9:30 PM leaves a bad taste in my mouth
like some stupid one hit wonder
And so the second hand chimes
pulling the rug out from underneath my stability
The ability to hold my breath escapes me
and I am falling to the floor
Passive moments place forced comments
inside of my heart
and they age me
like a sour wine --
they ferment into emptiness
and start to multiply uneasiness
My stomach feels the queasiness
like it did upon seeing the box today
I tried so hard to convey how much you mean to me
with a gift --
a small gift
but battered and torn
it didn't come out that way...
You are worn and have had enough
of me, of us
It's just as well
that I have nothing else to say
You wouldn't fucking notice anyway
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
Soft Memory
Come with me love, into night's memory
where dogwoods grow under moonlit skies
Our kisses sing passion like symphonies
the wind whispers breath to sustain our sighs
Your strong hands guide my deep longing to be
inside of your soul, inside of your heart
Nothing between us but sweet reverie
and the warmth of our skin reflected by stars
Stay with me love, in our own ecstasy
entwined with a promise of love and bliss
Where morning birds bring their soft melody
A sunrise glows on the edge of our kiss
Take me away love, again to that place
of neverending peacefulness and grace
where dogwoods grow under moonlit skies
Our kisses sing passion like symphonies
the wind whispers breath to sustain our sighs
Your strong hands guide my deep longing to be
inside of your soul, inside of your heart
Nothing between us but sweet reverie
and the warmth of our skin reflected by stars
Stay with me love, in our own ecstasy
entwined with a promise of love and bliss
Where morning birds bring their soft melody
A sunrise glows on the edge of our kiss
Take me away love, again to that place
of neverending peacefulness and grace
Monday, December 4, 2006
R.S.V.P.
Their snide, rude comments ignite my fury
Whispers shared behind my well aware back
And feigned conern fuels my acrimony
So I smile to keep them way off track
One narrows her eyes and looks down her nose
Reminding me somewhat of a vulture
I respite her queries with calm repose
As another tries to crush my stature
The worst of the clique is the one who coos
At my infant child and pretends to care
All about my life as she drinks my booze
Are those devil's horns underneath her hair?
Your complements are masked with false sweetness;
But don't mistake my silence for weakness
Whispers shared behind my well aware back
And feigned conern fuels my acrimony
So I smile to keep them way off track
One narrows her eyes and looks down her nose
Reminding me somewhat of a vulture
I respite her queries with calm repose
As another tries to crush my stature
The worst of the clique is the one who coos
At my infant child and pretends to care
All about my life as she drinks my booze
Are those devil's horns underneath her hair?
Your complements are masked with false sweetness;
But don't mistake my silence for weakness
Sunday, December 3, 2006
Locks
I rub my eyes past midnight
My desire to respond so intense
Squelched like a child's hand upon a firefly
When I encounter your first line of defense
Praying for mistaken identity --
Perhaps a slip of my hand?
I attempt to reenter the doorway's sanctity
But am unable to move where I stand
Guards are flashing RED
My cheeks are flushed the same
My mind is racing ahead
My heart is covered with shame
I'm not on the inside looking out
The key won't fit the lock
I'm the ship among other boats
Tied to someone else's dock
My watery eyes look away
My shaking hands won't cooperate
I tell myself that's enough for today
Too melancholy now to investigate
Locks and bars represent lack of trust
Now I wonder if that's how you feel about us
My desire to respond so intense
Squelched like a child's hand upon a firefly
When I encounter your first line of defense
Praying for mistaken identity --
Perhaps a slip of my hand?
I attempt to reenter the doorway's sanctity
But am unable to move where I stand
Guards are flashing RED
My cheeks are flushed the same
My mind is racing ahead
My heart is covered with shame
I'm not on the inside looking out
The key won't fit the lock
I'm the ship among other boats
Tied to someone else's dock
My watery eyes look away
My shaking hands won't cooperate
I tell myself that's enough for today
Too melancholy now to investigate
Locks and bars represent lack of trust
Now I wonder if that's how you feel about us
Hope
I started to type
"a punch in the stomach"
but flasbacks of your anger
deleted those words
I felt slightly betrayed
by my own question
but couldn't take back
what I'd already heard
Hope simply means
forever to me
but cannot possibly
exist among three...
"a punch in the stomach"
but flasbacks of your anger
deleted those words
I felt slightly betrayed
by my own question
but couldn't take back
what I'd already heard
Hope simply means
forever to me
but cannot possibly
exist among three...
Friday, December 1, 2006
Stranger
I really do support the desire
though don't fully comprehend the need
My fears watch closely, carefully
should the fire begin to breed
Flames that could reignite
or new ones from your heart
burn slowly and unchaperoned
and we are so far apart
The ones you know from my past
let me go with unrestrained pause
for the same opinion you have of me
and my disappointing flaws
But the difference between my past and present
and those feelings like you that I carried
is they cannot be reconnected or satisfied
with one who is dead and buried
though don't fully comprehend the need
My fears watch closely, carefully
should the fire begin to breed
Flames that could reignite
or new ones from your heart
burn slowly and unchaperoned
and we are so far apart
The ones you know from my past
let me go with unrestrained pause
for the same opinion you have of me
and my disappointing flaws
But the difference between my past and present
and those feelings like you that I carried
is they cannot be reconnected or satisfied
with one who is dead and buried
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
White Shirt
I wrapped myself in you tonight
sweet combed cotton
cologned in your scent
symbolic to my touch
This white shirt
at one time there
in the spotlight
just hanging on display
undisturbed on a hook
among all of the others
becomes a tender caress
over warmed naked skin
clothing a deep longing
within my patient soul
And a memory of quiet nights
spring grass underneath our heat
slowly brings to my heart
the sight of your smile
until I recalculate the miles
between our clocks
My casual happiness
in long-lived comfort wanes
and lonliness appears
like the slight wrinkle
covering the tearstain
just above your right sleeve
on the day you had to leave
sweet combed cotton
cologned in your scent
symbolic to my touch
This white shirt
at one time there
in the spotlight
just hanging on display
undisturbed on a hook
among all of the others
becomes a tender caress
over warmed naked skin
clothing a deep longing
within my patient soul
And a memory of quiet nights
spring grass underneath our heat
slowly brings to my heart
the sight of your smile
until I recalculate the miles
between our clocks
My casual happiness
in long-lived comfort wanes
and lonliness appears
like the slight wrinkle
covering the tearstain
just above your right sleeve
on the day you had to leave
A Lonliness
Do you hear my voice crying for help anymore?
My hints lie around like forgotten toys on an old floor
My sadness comes in faithful waves of dreams
Now muddled in murky rivers and streams
Of conscious and careful amniotic hope
I balance my blessings inside the lump in my throat
And a womb of security stays hidden somewhere
Buried with secrets we will never share
Clearing the table and drawing bath water tonight,
I realize my voice is simply out of your sight
My hints lie around like forgotten toys on an old floor
My sadness comes in faithful waves of dreams
Now muddled in murky rivers and streams
Of conscious and careful amniotic hope
I balance my blessings inside the lump in my throat
And a womb of security stays hidden somewhere
Buried with secrets we will never share
Clearing the table and drawing bath water tonight,
I realize my voice is simply out of your sight
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Nightmare
The nightmare repeats what my mind has carved
That feeling of danger captures my words
Rabid like dogs being beaten and starved
My tongue lashes out -- I still have not learned
Mistaken and shamed, I cannot retreat
Where is the ink that will scratch out my lies?
Gone like a puzzle that's missing a piece,
Forgiveness and promise will not comply
Swallowing the sword that smiles my pain
Daring illusion -- my sharp witted slight
Those howling hungry hounds drive me insane!
And corner me in the dead of the night
The nightmare predicts of me losing you
To my own fabricated fatal view
That feeling of danger captures my words
Rabid like dogs being beaten and starved
My tongue lashes out -- I still have not learned
Mistaken and shamed, I cannot retreat
Where is the ink that will scratch out my lies?
Gone like a puzzle that's missing a piece,
Forgiveness and promise will not comply
Swallowing the sword that smiles my pain
Daring illusion -- my sharp witted slight
Those howling hungry hounds drive me insane!
And corner me in the dead of the night
The nightmare predicts of me losing you
To my own fabricated fatal view
Stained Admiration
This milk stained shirt wet against my skin
smells like twenty four hours of wake
Not that you would even try to understand
or appreciate the security for him that I make
My mixed emotions are too fragile and tense
to stand upon some glass box near your will and speak
but "clinical" would be my most agile response
if you would let me remember my reasons to grieve
When it amounts to you and all of your day
we solve and salute each pertinent cause
But turn for a moment upon my gaze;
We are nothing but mismatched souls with flaws
This milk stained skin has started to itch
from showerless nights and hunger soaked mornings
Whatever we once thought is only a myth;
Complacent thoughts replace adjacent warnings
Drenched again in unsynchronized desire
I find no part of this memory of us to admire
smells like twenty four hours of wake
Not that you would even try to understand
or appreciate the security for him that I make
My mixed emotions are too fragile and tense
to stand upon some glass box near your will and speak
but "clinical" would be my most agile response
if you would let me remember my reasons to grieve
When it amounts to you and all of your day
we solve and salute each pertinent cause
But turn for a moment upon my gaze;
We are nothing but mismatched souls with flaws
This milk stained skin has started to itch
from showerless nights and hunger soaked mornings
Whatever we once thought is only a myth;
Complacent thoughts replace adjacent warnings
Drenched again in unsynchronized desire
I find no part of this memory of us to admire
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Nursing at 4 AM (Blank Verse)
A slight tingling sensation warms my breast
You gently persuade my body to free
The immunized elixir to your tongue
With half sleepy eyes and curled hands you take
My raindropped shower, a downpour of mild
Sweet and dewlike feast to your appetite
Appeases your quick hunger instantly
Soothing your hollowed, pained cry for comfort
Your soft, searching hands rest upon my face
Stroking, caressing my familiar smile
Your arched brow reveals that you are in dreams
I pull you closer and whisper secrets
These words you will hear from my heart to yours
Only in our world of mother and son
You gently persuade my body to free
The immunized elixir to your tongue
With half sleepy eyes and curled hands you take
My raindropped shower, a downpour of mild
Sweet and dewlike feast to your appetite
Appeases your quick hunger instantly
Soothing your hollowed, pained cry for comfort
Your soft, searching hands rest upon my face
Stroking, caressing my familiar smile
Your arched brow reveals that you are in dreams
I pull you closer and whisper secrets
These words you will hear from my heart to yours
Only in our world of mother and son
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Details
Somewhere between the fits of coughs
and the stirring of tonight's stroganoff
I looked up to the corner of the stove
above the kitchen counter
and was distracted by
the careless placement
of the label on the side of the vent
I started to rant and rave
about how easy it would have been
for someone to take five minutes more
to center that warning
just to make it more pleasing
to a baker's tired eyes
It's the little things, I justified
Pay attention to the details...
Then I remembered with a soft smile
you always do that
and I looked longingly towards the door
and the stirring of tonight's stroganoff
I looked up to the corner of the stove
above the kitchen counter
and was distracted by
the careless placement
of the label on the side of the vent
I started to rant and rave
about how easy it would have been
for someone to take five minutes more
to center that warning
just to make it more pleasing
to a baker's tired eyes
It's the little things, I justified
Pay attention to the details...
Then I remembered with a soft smile
you always do that
and I looked longingly towards the door
Monday, November 20, 2006
Nevermind
Muffle my heartsong to no sound
Suffocate me in a pillow of your silent anger
Walk out again to protect your ground
I should have known I was so close to danger
You showed classic signs of shutting down
I thought we had grown better and closer with time
But you slapped that faith with a complete turnaround
When I woke this morning to...
Nevermind.
Suffocate me in a pillow of your silent anger
Walk out again to protect your ground
I should have known I was so close to danger
You showed classic signs of shutting down
I thought we had grown better and closer with time
But you slapped that faith with a complete turnaround
When I woke this morning to...
Nevermind.
Replaced
Some deceptive voice convincingly
caused her to let go of her hope reluctantly
Transposed in some other time and place
was the vision that she had been replaced
Curious to know about someone from the past
his need for newer connections finally unmasked
Perhaps she would have, if given the word
taken his hand gently and remained where they stood...
Now sallowed mind and migrained thoughts
make her mourn silently for all she has lost
caused her to let go of her hope reluctantly
Transposed in some other time and place
was the vision that she had been replaced
Curious to know about someone from the past
his need for newer connections finally unmasked
Perhaps she would have, if given the word
taken his hand gently and remained where they stood...
Now sallowed mind and migrained thoughts
make her mourn silently for all she has lost
Simple Reminder
I know that it hurts you
when I compare and contrast
but I don't deliberately say things
to hurt you
Here's a simple reminder:
Everytime you leave...
I am the one who never deserts you.
when I compare and contrast
but I don't deliberately say things
to hurt you
Here's a simple reminder:
Everytime you leave...
I am the one who never deserts you.
The Secret Insider
Gossip your tongue until you turn it black
avoid the true person -- security escapes you
But watch me carefully before you turn your back
I am completely aware of what motivates you
Your voice is shrill and strong for the moment
but tame your words from wildly roaming
Gather your people as you try to show them
their suspicion and hatred --- attempt to control them
Disseminate prejudgment and circulate rumors
Like a disease given sustinence, it will feed on lies
But the strength in your soul will destroy the growing tumor
bringing and end to the breed of your alibis
The warm, confident voice will be the only one heard
your attempts to undermine me are completely absurd
The rest of this poem temporarily escapes me ---
Just don't fucking underestimate me
avoid the true person -- security escapes you
But watch me carefully before you turn your back
I am completely aware of what motivates you
Your voice is shrill and strong for the moment
but tame your words from wildly roaming
Gather your people as you try to show them
their suspicion and hatred --- attempt to control them
Disseminate prejudgment and circulate rumors
Like a disease given sustinence, it will feed on lies
But the strength in your soul will destroy the growing tumor
bringing and end to the breed of your alibis
The warm, confident voice will be the only one heard
your attempts to undermine me are completely absurd
The rest of this poem temporarily escapes me ---
Just don't fucking underestimate me
Friday, November 17, 2006
Suspended
You brought to me on soft white ecstasy
the whispers of a lover's secret soul
I dreamed of us in rainbow reverie
with memories of our stories untold
You woke one morning just to leave my life
and past the tower drove to find your home
Some cardboard cutout posing as wife
would comfort you in what you could not own
From me or any promises we made
Beneath the tree when grass blades shadowed love
Where touch and sweetened kiss would never fade
we lay together breathing skies above
Then, like hanging some old hat on a hook,
You suspended our passion in a book
the whispers of a lover's secret soul
I dreamed of us in rainbow reverie
with memories of our stories untold
You woke one morning just to leave my life
and past the tower drove to find your home
Some cardboard cutout posing as wife
would comfort you in what you could not own
From me or any promises we made
Beneath the tree when grass blades shadowed love
Where touch and sweetened kiss would never fade
we lay together breathing skies above
Then, like hanging some old hat on a hook,
You suspended our passion in a book
Untouched, Gone
The brightened stars are fading once again
Behind uncertain curtains of my mind
Night's selfish pull will justify the end
Compel us to resist and then resign
Ourselves to simple silence for three days
While winter winds blow harsh and bitter tests
Against our stubborn pride lean our cliches
Some sentimental lie "it's for the best"
Your hands mirror my own in dire need
To write and redefine the author's prime
My hopeful, faithful thoughts will not concede
To fortune's perfidious deal with time
I leave my writer's pen untouched, alone
You still have not noticed -- I am gone
Behind uncertain curtains of my mind
Night's selfish pull will justify the end
Compel us to resist and then resign
Ourselves to simple silence for three days
While winter winds blow harsh and bitter tests
Against our stubborn pride lean our cliches
Some sentimental lie "it's for the best"
Your hands mirror my own in dire need
To write and redefine the author's prime
My hopeful, faithful thoughts will not concede
To fortune's perfidious deal with time
I leave my writer's pen untouched, alone
You still have not noticed -- I am gone
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Director’s Cut
I didn't get the part
and it hurt like my bones
bending backwards
without breaking
But I read every line near perfectly
apparently not as clearly
as I thought I had
So I watched
newly ashamed
as they all stood
laughing at my pain
smug smiles on their
Hester Prynne lips
mouthing my name
as if it were some curse
I didn't bother to bring my purse
or to pack my case
or state it for that matter
Any reason or logic
would simply shatter my reflection
the role I once adored
cut by his swift rejection:
My costumes are too old and torn
a hint of perfume once worn in the fall
exhumes too many thoughts
of late night conversations
mere improvisations placating my fears...
But I will never let you see one tear.
and it hurt like my bones
bending backwards
without breaking
But I read every line near perfectly
apparently not as clearly
as I thought I had
So I watched
newly ashamed
as they all stood
laughing at my pain
smug smiles on their
Hester Prynne lips
mouthing my name
as if it were some curse
I didn't bother to bring my purse
or to pack my case
or state it for that matter
Any reason or logic
would simply shatter my reflection
the role I once adored
cut by his swift rejection:
My costumes are too old and torn
a hint of perfume once worn in the fall
exhumes too many thoughts
of late night conversations
mere improvisations placating my fears...
But I will never let you see one tear.
Camouflage
The light infiltrates through the darkened room
In spots and patterns the shadows repeat
Escalating breaths in the afternoon
Memories revived in the rising heat
My skin burns beneath you like desert sand
My kiss brings water to your dry, parched lips
Your heart holds my soul in its loving hands
Your soft words an oasis of pure bliss
Whispers and sighs mix sweetly with touching
Camouflaging lines drawn across our love
Pleasure dissolves each pain into nothing;
They fade into the quiet night above
The patterns imitate the afterglow
but my feelings lie dormant, hidden below
In spots and patterns the shadows repeat
Escalating breaths in the afternoon
Memories revived in the rising heat
My skin burns beneath you like desert sand
My kiss brings water to your dry, parched lips
Your heart holds my soul in its loving hands
Your soft words an oasis of pure bliss
Whispers and sighs mix sweetly with touching
Camouflaging lines drawn across our love
Pleasure dissolves each pain into nothing;
They fade into the quiet night above
The patterns imitate the afterglow
but my feelings lie dormant, hidden below
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Politics
I'm sick to death of seeing your name here
A place where you are unwelcome at best
Who do you think inspired the dream, dear
Just get back in line -- hopeful like the rest
Your bootlicking words implore him for praise
Hand him your apple so shiny and new
Pamper his ego, tempt him with your gaze
Others please him more easily than you
Lift up your skirt to reveal all your tricks
Work up his psyche with pseudonym love
Pull him in closer and you'll feel his shove
His powerful strength so hard to resist
The date is drawing dangerously near
Motives for polling are desperately clear
A place where you are unwelcome at best
Who do you think inspired the dream, dear
Just get back in line -- hopeful like the rest
Your bootlicking words implore him for praise
Hand him your apple so shiny and new
Pamper his ego, tempt him with your gaze
Others please him more easily than you
Lift up your skirt to reveal all your tricks
Work up his psyche with pseudonym love
Pull him in closer and you'll feel his shove
His powerful strength so hard to resist
The date is drawing dangerously near
Motives for polling are desperately clear
Tuesday, November 7, 2006
Little Feet
I love the way
you hesitate slowly
right before you eat
Your timing
from Mother Nature's watch
rhymes beautifully with
Earth's symphonies
And I love the way
your smile
in the middle of my
hurried, hectic day
makes me feel so complete...
And I love your tiny
soft and perfect
happy little feet
If
If you could not hear
the desperate and sincere
I love you
in my reserved silence today
then we are more doomed -
more without hope
And we will always be this way
If you can not understand
why I'm grasping for your hand
at this late hour
to help me make a change
Then our love won't last
because zero to impossible
is our maximum possibility range
the desperate and sincere
I love you
in my reserved silence today
then we are more doomed -
more without hope
And we will always be this way
If you can not understand
why I'm grasping for your hand
at this late hour
to help me make a change
Then our love won't last
because zero to impossible
is our maximum possibility range
Reply
Because I love you so deeply
it affects my sleep
until we fix it
And my clouded mind
plays cruel tricks;
It won't allow
my heart to rest
so I stay up all night...
"You need to work on that"
was your reply.
it affects my sleep
until we fix it
And my clouded mind
plays cruel tricks;
It won't allow
my heart to rest
so I stay up all night...
"You need to work on that"
was your reply.
Blended
Within this place of reverie and time,
I sit upon this rock and think of you.
Mulling memories like sweet, ripened wine
first savored by my tongue and then approved.
The trees send breezes from my hearts desire
to swirl around my body like your breath
upon my skin. They leave me inspired,
and thoughts of us restore my waning faith.
But echoes of our voices from today,
remind me that we have so far to go.
Now reverie and time-- they fade away
to where your silence lies far down below.
I've blended together your perfect line
by adding love for you to make it mine
I sit upon this rock and think of you.
Mulling memories like sweet, ripened wine
first savored by my tongue and then approved.
The trees send breezes from my hearts desire
to swirl around my body like your breath
upon my skin. They leave me inspired,
and thoughts of us restore my waning faith.
But echoes of our voices from today,
remind me that we have so far to go.
Now reverie and time-- they fade away
to where your silence lies far down below.
I've blended together your perfect line
by adding love for you to make it mine
Last Night
The greenish glow upon my face has gone
Another night has robbed us from our time
Unkind mercy threw her sticks and her stones
One of us now blind staggers far behind;
I clear the table from where I had dropped
A dish or two in hopes we would talk soon
The china stacks up high just like my thoughts
As I clean the mess from this cluttered room
I hesitate to put these plates away
For fear that we won't use them anymore
The greenish glow will not stay lit today
One of us spent, falls asleep on the floor
I realize something about last night,
You only wanted to stay up to write.
Another night has robbed us from our time
Unkind mercy threw her sticks and her stones
One of us now blind staggers far behind;
I clear the table from where I had dropped
A dish or two in hopes we would talk soon
The china stacks up high just like my thoughts
As I clean the mess from this cluttered room
I hesitate to put these plates away
For fear that we won't use them anymore
The greenish glow will not stay lit today
One of us spent, falls asleep on the floor
I realize something about last night,
You only wanted to stay up to write.
Sunday, November 5, 2006
Fucking Feeling
That fucking feeling came again today
An eerie tone that throws us so off synch
I tried to think of things that you would say
As hours passed, my hope began to sink
What is so strong that pulls you far from me?
It guards you from admitting you are wrong
My tolerance of this has grown so weak
I've kept these feelings quiet for too long
Make up your mind to stay and try again
To love the one you love with all your heart
Consistent, constant communication
Prevents the mood from keeping us apart
Tonight these clouded skies bring me no rain
To wash away that fucking feeling's stain
An eerie tone that throws us so off synch
I tried to think of things that you would say
As hours passed, my hope began to sink
What is so strong that pulls you far from me?
It guards you from admitting you are wrong
My tolerance of this has grown so weak
I've kept these feelings quiet for too long
Make up your mind to stay and try again
To love the one you love with all your heart
Consistent, constant communication
Prevents the mood from keeping us apart
Tonight these clouded skies bring me no rain
To wash away that fucking feeling's stain
Friday, November 3, 2006
Darkened Bench
Sitting on this darkened bench
barely a streetlight near to reflect the sky
I watch for the ominous moon
hidden by goulish clouds
blurred by muffled cries
And the night's luminous stars
who echo empty sighs
are easily hidden from view
while I grow colder, so much colder
in the discomfort of midnight's womb...
without you
barely a streetlight near to reflect the sky
I watch for the ominous moon
hidden by goulish clouds
blurred by muffled cries
And the night's luminous stars
who echo empty sighs
are easily hidden from view
while I grow colder, so much colder
in the discomfort of midnight's womb...
without you
Strands
The lock of hair that stays within your hands
Preserved the beauty that our love once was
But since I gave into your soul demand,
That same lock of hair is thinning because
The water is harsh here and strips the wear
From the hair that shined for over a year
It lost silky softness from lack of care
And falls to the floor with each of my tears
Then once I find time to comb through each piece
Taming unruly, impervious strays
I lower my brush in shameful defeat
Remaining unkempt in so many ways
Like a revitalizing deep shampoo
My strands are in desperate need of you
Preserved the beauty that our love once was
But since I gave into your soul demand,
That same lock of hair is thinning because
The water is harsh here and strips the wear
From the hair that shined for over a year
It lost silky softness from lack of care
And falls to the floor with each of my tears
Then once I find time to comb through each piece
Taming unruly, impervious strays
I lower my brush in shameful defeat
Remaining unkempt in so many ways
Like a revitalizing deep shampoo
My strands are in desperate need of you
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Someone
Someone stopped the tears tonight
of a seven years old's anxious fears
He cared enough
to easily shed
the tough facade
that most adolescents wear
just to complement my son
Gimme five for that cool costume!
he said with a warm and friendly grin:
and I watched my son's confidence
slowly filter into a smile
Down on my knees
Next to my sleeping child,
replaying the scene
in his peaceful dreams
I added Someone to my prayers
asking God to watch over him
because only God knows who he is
of a seven years old's anxious fears
He cared enough
to easily shed
the tough facade
that most adolescents wear
just to complement my son
Gimme five for that cool costume!
he said with a warm and friendly grin:
and I watched my son's confidence
slowly filter into a smile
Down on my knees
Next to my sleeping child,
replaying the scene
in his peaceful dreams
I added Someone to my prayers
asking God to watch over him
because only God knows who he is
Bars
I watch her make the home that we should warm
Your kitchen smells of meals that I would bake
And when she lies there safe inside your arms
My God! My God! It's just too much to take!
I toss and turn in sleepless prose again
The letters she did write to you before
They haunt me now because this is the end
And I elect to stand outside your door
The irony has caught up with my mind
Periphery now leaves me without view
My sleepless nights are bleeding into rhyme
But fail to bring me close enough to you
My senses will form bars around my heart
Keeping our two distant worlds apart
Your kitchen smells of meals that I would bake
And when she lies there safe inside your arms
My God! My God! It's just too much to take!
I toss and turn in sleepless prose again
The letters she did write to you before
They haunt me now because this is the end
And I elect to stand outside your door
The irony has caught up with my mind
Periphery now leaves me without view
My sleepless nights are bleeding into rhyme
But fail to bring me close enough to you
My senses will form bars around my heart
Keeping our two distant worlds apart
Monday, October 30, 2006
Depleted
The air in my tires
has slowly depleted
And this morning,
I could hear the rubber squealing
as my car rounded a curve
to leave the highway
The screech prompted me to
turn around and find a place
to fill them up again
I sat idling for too long
among numerous others
who were there before me
so I gave up
Listening to the radio
a prisoner of the same song
I put the gear in reverse
and headed back home
Walking inside
alone again
the smell of black crayon
melted from extreme heat
echoed the sound
of tires wearing thin;
my patience disappearing
like elevating wheels
on a distant tarmac
has slowly depleted
And this morning,
I could hear the rubber squealing
as my car rounded a curve
to leave the highway
The screech prompted me to
turn around and find a place
to fill them up again
I sat idling for too long
among numerous others
who were there before me
so I gave up
Listening to the radio
a prisoner of the same song
I put the gear in reverse
and headed back home
Walking inside
alone again
the smell of black crayon
melted from extreme heat
echoed the sound
of tires wearing thin;
my patience disappearing
like elevating wheels
on a distant tarmac
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Comments
Of course it makes you stop and think! You turn
those lost, missing seconds of ours into
constant arguments unresolved. So learn
when someone brings a different song for you;
Remember where your past time was once spent?
And where your tender heart once rested? Now
so rare and inconvenient. Repent,
return, then reiterate that somehow
it will be so much better than before.
A few days in partial silence, then time
rewinds the sincere words that gave us more.
Time to temporarily heal our scars
permanently unrates our love five stars
those lost, missing seconds of ours into
constant arguments unresolved. So learn
when someone brings a different song for you;
Remember where your past time was once spent?
And where your tender heart once rested? Now
so rare and inconvenient. Repent,
return, then reiterate that somehow
it will be so much better than before.
A few days in partial silence, then time
rewinds the sincere words that gave us more.
Time to temporarily heal our scars
permanently unrates our love five stars
Saturday, October 28, 2006
29th Wonder
Tonight I held the baby
so innocent and pure
like the love from which he was created
when we were so sure
that adversity and impossibility
would never endure
once we finally passed the place
where we felt so insecure...
and I wondered where you were.
so innocent and pure
like the love from which he was created
when we were so sure
that adversity and impossibility
would never endure
once we finally passed the place
where we felt so insecure...
and I wondered where you were.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Blue Steel
You know that I'm here
waiting for a sign
some flash of light
or a familiar chime
But the marker stains red
inside of your hand
and you draw another line
inside of your head
Some asinine rule
will keep you at bay
Though I've fought in the past
I won't beg you to stay
This place tonight smells
of blue steel and glue
I've discovered conditional
I have learned it from you
Those thoughts that I shared
do you understand why
I've failed to open your trust
so this love has gone awry
There's a surface, then a floor
and even beneath your tile
there's an abyss swirling and churning
that you won't reconcile
Alone chooses me
where another world comforts you
But you read silently
as if something to prove
My darkened eyes
hold their empty stare
I've reached that low point
where I don't even care
Accepting the reality you sell
that we are too far apart
While your son nurses from the breast
which shields my broken heart
waiting for a sign
some flash of light
or a familiar chime
But the marker stains red
inside of your hand
and you draw another line
inside of your head
Some asinine rule
will keep you at bay
Though I've fought in the past
I won't beg you to stay
This place tonight smells
of blue steel and glue
I've discovered conditional
I have learned it from you
Those thoughts that I shared
do you understand why
I've failed to open your trust
so this love has gone awry
There's a surface, then a floor
and even beneath your tile
there's an abyss swirling and churning
that you won't reconcile
Alone chooses me
where another world comforts you
But you read silently
as if something to prove
My darkened eyes
hold their empty stare
I've reached that low point
where I don't even care
Accepting the reality you sell
that we are too far apart
While your son nurses from the breast
which shields my broken heart
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Inconsistency
How does your laughter subside so quickly
Is there some magic poison in the night?
Killing your beautiful smile swiftly
Dimming my hope like a broken light
My words get lost in your mood's translation
Electronic blunders become the norm
Overseen by my miscalculation
I risk exposure in your coming storm
How does yesterday cross with tomorrow
When twenty four hours brings confusion?
Where do I conquer that prolonged sorrow
If flipping the switch is your solution?
The futile part of our love is simply
Our constant lies in inconsistency
Is there some magic poison in the night?
Killing your beautiful smile swiftly
Dimming my hope like a broken light
My words get lost in your mood's translation
Electronic blunders become the norm
Overseen by my miscalculation
I risk exposure in your coming storm
How does yesterday cross with tomorrow
When twenty four hours brings confusion?
Where do I conquer that prolonged sorrow
If flipping the switch is your solution?
The futile part of our love is simply
Our constant lies in inconsistency
Inconsistency
How does your laughter subside so quickly
Is there some magic poison in the night?
Killing your beautiful smile swiftly
Dimming my hope like a broken light
My words get lost in your mood's translation
Electronic blunders become the norm
Overseen by my miscalculation
I risk exposure in your coming storm
How does yesterday cross with tomorrow
When twenty four hours brings confusion?
Where do I conquer that prolonged sorrow
If flipping the switch is your solution?
The futile part of our love is simply
Our constant lies in inconsistency
Is there some magic poison in the night?
Killing your beautiful smile swiftly
Dimming my hope like a broken light
My words get lost in your mood's translation
Electronic blunders become the norm
Overseen by my miscalculation
I risk exposure in your coming storm
How does yesterday cross with tomorrow
When twenty four hours brings confusion?
Where do I conquer that prolonged sorrow
If flipping the switch is your solution?
The futile part of our love is simply
Our constant lies in inconsistency
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Careless
Unforgiving, winter winds
blow harshly from your lips
like deceitful misleading whispers
behind your taunting kiss
As desperate as I was
to give our kite some air
I placed the bind in your hands
and left it in your care
You stood and watched it rise
too high to be alone
But did not pull back tightly
to quickly bring it home
The breeze carried it away
with those tiny grains of sand
Because you let the strings
loosen from your careless hands
blow harshly from your lips
like deceitful misleading whispers
behind your taunting kiss
As desperate as I was
to give our kite some air
I placed the bind in your hands
and left it in your care
You stood and watched it rise
too high to be alone
But did not pull back tightly
to quickly bring it home
The breeze carried it away
with those tiny grains of sand
Because you let the strings
loosen from your careless hands
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Evaporate
Did you breathe it in
only to let it evaporate
before using the air
to sustain your high
It's not a slow dissolve
when you provide the point
to pierce the skin
too delicate and pale
stretchmarked within
and truth be told...
She should be the one on hold
only to let it evaporate
before using the air
to sustain your high
It's not a slow dissolve
when you provide the point
to pierce the skin
too delicate and pale
stretchmarked within
and truth be told...
She should be the one on hold
Silence
Here lay with me in silence and sorrow
My dignity can find no more trials
The scourging sun has burned your denials
But daylight brings another tomorrow
Your words they seem too forced to be truthful
Your stonelike stare reflects nightfall's cover
You're blind again and fighting your lover
Your pride, your shame is worthless and hurtful
So lay with me in repeated silence
Then walk away with righteous defenses
Forgetting our elusive pretenses
We'll say goodbye to justified violence
I'll start the voices in all of my dreams
And bring our silence to deafening screams
My dignity can find no more trials
The scourging sun has burned your denials
But daylight brings another tomorrow
Your words they seem too forced to be truthful
Your stonelike stare reflects nightfall's cover
You're blind again and fighting your lover
Your pride, your shame is worthless and hurtful
So lay with me in repeated silence
Then walk away with righteous defenses
Forgetting our elusive pretenses
We'll say goodbye to justified violence
I'll start the voices in all of my dreams
And bring our silence to deafening screams
Monday, October 23, 2006
Allusive
I sit quietly, waiting on our bench
Sighs in my head form the words I can't write
My paper is blowing, my fingers clenched
Both stand apart, refusing to unite
Cool breezes in the air seduce my spine;
Soft inspiration for the perfect prose
Their enticement fails to a soul supine,
And my emotional door remains closed
Ocean bound palm trees seem out of season
Their green leaves intoxicate me sober
Numbing me to the infinite reasons
I am missing the fall of October
Trees lower their branches, I shade my eyes
From the allusive poem in my sighs
Sighs in my head form the words I can't write
My paper is blowing, my fingers clenched
Both stand apart, refusing to unite
Cool breezes in the air seduce my spine;
Soft inspiration for the perfect prose
Their enticement fails to a soul supine,
And my emotional door remains closed
Ocean bound palm trees seem out of season
Their green leaves intoxicate me sober
Numbing me to the infinite reasons
I am missing the fall of October
Trees lower their branches, I shade my eyes
From the allusive poem in my sighs
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Dulce de Leche
Softening swirls
of pleasing taste
caramels twirl in streams
Lips and tongue
don't hesitate
to devour the sensual dream
Voluptuous flavor
entices my desire
sweet devonshire mixed
into cooling fire
Ecstasy rich with
honeyed moonbeans...
I close my eyes
and savor your cream
of pleasing taste
caramels twirl in streams
Lips and tongue
don't hesitate
to devour the sensual dream
Voluptuous flavor
entices my desire
sweet devonshire mixed
into cooling fire
Ecstasy rich with
honeyed moonbeans...
I close my eyes
and savor your cream
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Wild Honey
The indelible sweetness
of early morning
lingers in my memory
like the scent of wild honey
And if you can picture
that look in my eyes...
You might remember
the taste of it too
of early morning
lingers in my memory
like the scent of wild honey
And if you can picture
that look in my eyes...
You might remember
the taste of it too
Friday, October 20, 2006
Friday
Your words determine how and when I'll sleep
Such power in your inconsistent praise
Or lackthereof, depending on your week
By weekend's time you taint me with malaise
This pattern of sporadic love is set
Refuting my hopes to stay close to you
And I spend my nights cleaning your regrets
Which linger nearby like molding mildew;
Is my sex unequal to your mistress?
Did his birthday invent new excuses?
Are you fully aware of the distress?
I feel lonely, uncertain and useless
Goodnight misleads me to abandoned sleep -
Wishing it were not the end of the week
Such power in your inconsistent praise
Or lackthereof, depending on your week
By weekend's time you taint me with malaise
This pattern of sporadic love is set
Refuting my hopes to stay close to you
And I spend my nights cleaning your regrets
Which linger nearby like molding mildew;
Is my sex unequal to your mistress?
Did his birthday invent new excuses?
Are you fully aware of the distress?
I feel lonely, uncertain and useless
Goodnight misleads me to abandoned sleep -
Wishing it were not the end of the week
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Waiting Room
Waltzing crystal rainbows on the windows
from streak-free pristine shine the night before
Piled papers stacked neatly in their inbox
Sterile scented carpet on the drab, brown floor
No color to be found here inside of my nail-biting heart
despite children's chatter and innocent questions
Because I can still feel every part of you while we are far apart
And sense your heavy-hearted, blue depression
But I can't even speak softly or hold your trusting hand
through thoughts I'm not allowed to know or try to understand
So patiently I sit once more in the empty waiting room,
unable to immunize you from your growing, afflicting glum
from streak-free pristine shine the night before
Piled papers stacked neatly in their inbox
Sterile scented carpet on the drab, brown floor
No color to be found here inside of my nail-biting heart
despite children's chatter and innocent questions
Because I can still feel every part of you while we are far apart
And sense your heavy-hearted, blue depression
But I can't even speak softly or hold your trusting hand
through thoughts I'm not allowed to know or try to understand
So patiently I sit once more in the empty waiting room,
unable to immunize you from your growing, afflicting glum
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Cyclone
And now the anger spins instead
A cyclone of another voice
I bet you answered her in red
and thoughtful kindness --that's your choice
But I'm the one who stands beside
your lonely heart, your lovely pride
You chose tonight to stay away
through words you didn't want to say
My simple poems won't bring back
the love we knew what we now lack
Your comments forced and out of tune
just leave me lonely in this tomb
A place I will not ever leave
because you choose everyone over me
And God knows how my heart stays true
because I choose no one over you
A cyclone of another voice
I bet you answered her in red
and thoughtful kindness --that's your choice
But I'm the one who stands beside
your lonely heart, your lovely pride
You chose tonight to stay away
through words you didn't want to say
My simple poems won't bring back
the love we knew what we now lack
Your comments forced and out of tune
just leave me lonely in this tomb
A place I will not ever leave
because you choose everyone over me
And God knows how my heart stays true
because I choose no one over you
Juliet
My passion and my patience wait for you
Inside a half dark room with hidden fire
My knees drawn to my chest -- a warm cocoon
Prepare me to emerge with kempt desire
At last! The guiding streetlamp lights your path!
Beside a lake, my hunger tastes your kiss
Your footsteps alight softly on the grass
The place where we will soon begin our tryst
With caution at my feet, I step outside
To meet my Romeo in sight and sound
And lips to lips, we consecrate this night
Where living dreams and fantasies abound
With one touch of your searching, shaking hands
My body will submit to your demands
Inside a half dark room with hidden fire
My knees drawn to my chest -- a warm cocoon
Prepare me to emerge with kempt desire
At last! The guiding streetlamp lights your path!
Beside a lake, my hunger tastes your kiss
Your footsteps alight softly on the grass
The place where we will soon begin our tryst
With caution at my feet, I step outside
To meet my Romeo in sight and sound
And lips to lips, we consecrate this night
Where living dreams and fantasies abound
With one touch of your searching, shaking hands
My body will submit to your demands
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Popcorn
It broke again
Burned brown seeds
and melted butter
oozing sunflower colors
leaving stains on the floor
I stood there surprised
feeling confused and slightly amazed
The button was red --
should it have been green?
My checklist became a haze
It was the messiest sight I'd ever seen!
I couldn't remember
who shut the door last
Yellow spots and popcorn dots
peppered patterns along the glass
The noise was annoying
beyond any repair
it kept popping like a tin man
punching his own heart
and hitting empty air
The smell was stale
and distracted me from cleaning
my eyes were tears
from salt in my wounds
and my patience was weaning
Trash it! I thought angrily
Dump it all into the box
Haul it to the curb --
Let someone take it away!
Buy a new one
justify the loss ---
Impatient from the chaos
that had practically ruined the night
Turning back to the kernels
scattered randomly
and the broken machine inside
I grabbed the broom
to sweep it clean again
while hiding my lonely sigh
Burned brown seeds
and melted butter
oozing sunflower colors
leaving stains on the floor
I stood there surprised
feeling confused and slightly amazed
The button was red --
should it have been green?
My checklist became a haze
It was the messiest sight I'd ever seen!
I couldn't remember
who shut the door last
Yellow spots and popcorn dots
peppered patterns along the glass
The noise was annoying
beyond any repair
it kept popping like a tin man
punching his own heart
and hitting empty air
The smell was stale
and distracted me from cleaning
my eyes were tears
from salt in my wounds
and my patience was weaning
Trash it! I thought angrily
Dump it all into the box
Haul it to the curb --
Let someone take it away!
Buy a new one
justify the loss ---
Impatient from the chaos
that had practically ruined the night
Turning back to the kernels
scattered randomly
and the broken machine inside
I grabbed the broom
to sweep it clean again
while hiding my lonely sigh
At Twilight
I sit embraced in twilight's silent grasp,
when weeping moons bequeath a gentle glow
Unbound by moving memories from my past
I chase them down where peaceful rivers flow
So happily I roam within their scenes!
Those sparkling days of sharing secret slips
I find you there relaxed and so serene
Your pen in hand creating life's late script
A star -- it falls upon my wishing lips
Then fades before I close my eyes to pray
For one more dance between your fingertips
Will sweep me into heavens that betray
My eyes linger inside of your lover's stare
Though you remain completely unaware
when weeping moons bequeath a gentle glow
Unbound by moving memories from my past
I chase them down where peaceful rivers flow
So happily I roam within their scenes!
Those sparkling days of sharing secret slips
I find you there relaxed and so serene
Your pen in hand creating life's late script
A star -- it falls upon my wishing lips
Then fades before I close my eyes to pray
For one more dance between your fingertips
Will sweep me into heavens that betray
My eyes linger inside of your lover's stare
Though you remain completely unaware
Monday, October 16, 2006
He Said
Clean it up, every part
leave no trace or line
I need to recover
that hollow which was mine
My will should decide
what your eyes can believe
if I restrict your heart
I can tame your need
It's a place you can't travel
there is no lock, no key
and though you cry out
in a loving voice
You can only have
what I will let you see
and if I remain strong
I will have less of you
and you will have none of me
leave no trace or line
I need to recover
that hollow which was mine
My will should decide
what your eyes can believe
if I restrict your heart
I can tame your need
It's a place you can't travel
there is no lock, no key
and though you cry out
in a loving voice
You can only have
what I will let you see
and if I remain strong
I will have less of you
and you will have none of me
Ping Pong
The first time
I sailed over the net
feeling exhilarated, free
The next time around,
I started to notice the sting
when the paddle hit
and my soul flung forth
across the web
--the stretching barrier--
to the other side
By the third time
I felt dizzy, confused
wondering why
I just couldn't stay
on your side
You kept flinging me
forcefully forward
away from you
intentionally aiming
with premeditated precision
but partial perception
Finally determined
to eliminate me permanently
higher than the divide
with immense strength
and an unconquerable will,
You hit me directly
in the center of my heart
Stumbling backwards
unable to control my body
my vision forever impaired
I swayed back and forth
like a broken pendulum
or a stunned ping pong ball
and fell down
Rolling off the table
spining and spiraling
in mid-air twirling around,
Unable to gasp
or make a sound
I landed upon the ground
and to this day
I remain hidden safely
where I never will be found
I sailed over the net
feeling exhilarated, free
The next time around,
I started to notice the sting
when the paddle hit
and my soul flung forth
across the web
--the stretching barrier--
to the other side
By the third time
I felt dizzy, confused
wondering why
I just couldn't stay
on your side
You kept flinging me
forcefully forward
away from you
intentionally aiming
with premeditated precision
but partial perception
Finally determined
to eliminate me permanently
higher than the divide
with immense strength
and an unconquerable will,
You hit me directly
in the center of my heart
Stumbling backwards
unable to control my body
my vision forever impaired
I swayed back and forth
like a broken pendulum
or a stunned ping pong ball
and fell down
Rolling off the table
spining and spiraling
in mid-air twirling around,
Unable to gasp
or make a sound
I landed upon the ground
and to this day
I remain hidden safely
where I never will be found
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Shutting Down
Tapping her fingers in impatient haste
She sighs heavily at the blank, dark screen
A monitor for all that her heart sees and knows
Staring at her from the lifeless machine
It doesn't care how broken she feels
It wasn't designed to show any emotion
It can't take back the lost, missing years
It isn't interested in foolish devotion
Suddenly, the screen lights up in grey- blue
She watches cautiously as the words reappear
Her eyes witness the inevitable ending on cue
Feeling a familiar loss, she releases one tear
Silently, easily, it turns off without a sound
Her mind repeats "Windows is shutting down"....
She sighs heavily at the blank, dark screen
A monitor for all that her heart sees and knows
Staring at her from the lifeless machine
It doesn't care how broken she feels
It wasn't designed to show any emotion
It can't take back the lost, missing years
It isn't interested in foolish devotion
Suddenly, the screen lights up in grey- blue
She watches cautiously as the words reappear
Her eyes witness the inevitable ending on cue
Feeling a familiar loss, she releases one tear
Silently, easily, it turns off without a sound
Her mind repeats "Windows is shutting down"....
Friday, October 13, 2006
Cancer (Life Without Love)
There's a growing cancer within my chest
A fatal disease infiltrates my blood
In a constant state of rancid unrest
My body rejects any hope for reprieve
Defenseless and cornered behind my closed door
This lump in my chest steals my strength to live
I sit shivering and vomiting upon a cold floor
Losing parts of my soul I will never retrieve
There is no ribbon created in rememberance or cure
And no one can promote awareness for this cause
But the inevitable deterioration of self and soul
Eventually brings attention to this tragic loss
Death is no pardon for enduring such pain;
Life without you is just death in refrain
A fatal disease infiltrates my blood
In a constant state of rancid unrest
My body rejects any hope for reprieve
Defenseless and cornered behind my closed door
This lump in my chest steals my strength to live
I sit shivering and vomiting upon a cold floor
Losing parts of my soul I will never retrieve
There is no ribbon created in rememberance or cure
And no one can promote awareness for this cause
But the inevitable deterioration of self and soul
Eventually brings attention to this tragic loss
Death is no pardon for enduring such pain;
Life without you is just death in refrain
Invisible Rain
My soul is searching for the rain
not simple drops of teasing insults
I want to be drenched in a flood
desiring to drown
as it spirals me down
and slowly but completely
infiltrates my pores
boring deep into my dry and deserted mind
Quenching my thoughts -
an oasis for my prose
it transforms the murky sky water
into waves too blue and clear
Unusually invisible rain
resembling a dreamer's drink
waiting inside of fragile crystal
to be tasted like salty years
wearing the scent of my tears
There, a few moments of pure tranquility
standing in transparent puddles
I let small rivers form around my feet
and long to meet the clouds
who brought me such a gift
Grace me with a stormy wind
like some newborn ship
upon an old man's sea
Release me, just release me...
Naked in the shower
My soul is thirsting for the rain
My soul is searching for the rain
not simple drops of teasing insults
I want to be drenched in a flood
desiring to drown
as it spirals me down
and slowly but completely
infiltrates my pores
boring deep into my dry and deserted mind
Quenching my thoughts -
an oasis for my prose
it transforms the murky sky water
into waves too blue and clear
Unusually invisible rain
resembling a dreamer's drink
waiting inside of fragile crystal
to be tasted like salty years
wearing the scent of my tears
There, a few moments of pure tranquility
standing in transparent puddles
I let small rivers form around my feet
and long to meet the clouds
who brought me such a gift
Grace me with a stormy wind
like some newborn ship
upon an old man's sea
Release me, just release me...
Naked in the shower
My soul is thirsting for the rain
My soul is searching for the rain
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Pressure
The wind’s pressure slightly tilts a branch down
Sweet happiness frowns upon the spots and spills
When you’ve had your fill of my over requited love
You disappear like drying dewdrops on a windowsill
Selecting and infecting the ignorant tree
To remain immune, immortal within
Apt to bend, slightly break, but never concede
To that perpetrating, familiar, unrelenting wind
That reminds you of me
Storm raging wildly, refusing to pass quickly
Breaking the fragile, delicate, brilliant glass
Pieces will shatter and cut our flesh slowly
And hint of the end if we follow this path
With blood stained, injured, damaged hands
Do you cry wounded with pain
Or do you find me waiting in crimson hope
And go back to where love began
Sweet happiness frowns upon the spots and spills
When you’ve had your fill of my over requited love
You disappear like drying dewdrops on a windowsill
Selecting and infecting the ignorant tree
To remain immune, immortal within
Apt to bend, slightly break, but never concede
To that perpetrating, familiar, unrelenting wind
That reminds you of me
Storm raging wildly, refusing to pass quickly
Breaking the fragile, delicate, brilliant glass
Pieces will shatter and cut our flesh slowly
And hint of the end if we follow this path
With blood stained, injured, damaged hands
Do you cry wounded with pain
Or do you find me waiting in crimson hope
And go back to where love began
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Suicide at 55
I noticed today
how the shape of my eye
greatly resembles the tear
withheld in my sigh
that escaped from my lips
when that last butterfly
smashed into my windshield
as I drove fifty five
how the shape of my eye
greatly resembles the tear
withheld in my sigh
that escaped from my lips
when that last butterfly
smashed into my windshield
as I drove fifty five
Trivial
I'm still unable to completely run my hands
through the empty space where I cut my hair
Trivial, though it seems to even give a damn!
It meant so much more than I will share
You hold it and admire it as if it were some prize
but discard all the moments that led to that shear
It's easy to play dead when you can't see my eyes
Blue ribbons must conceal every sigh, every tear
Traduced again, my trusting heart and loving trust
Abandon us once more to weep and grieve;
Your reasons are unclear but to you they are just
Now my soul will play dead but secretly breathe
You could have owned that beautiful sonnet kiss
If you would have given me only slightly more than this
through the empty space where I cut my hair
Trivial, though it seems to even give a damn!
It meant so much more than I will share
You hold it and admire it as if it were some prize
but discard all the moments that led to that shear
It's easy to play dead when you can't see my eyes
Blue ribbons must conceal every sigh, every tear
Traduced again, my trusting heart and loving trust
Abandon us once more to weep and grieve;
Your reasons are unclear but to you they are just
Now my soul will play dead but secretly breathe
You could have owned that beautiful sonnet kiss
If you would have given me only slightly more than this
Monday, October 9, 2006
Imperfectly
The unforgiving wind
tousles and teases
my once smooth dreams
interrupting my deeper thoughts
while I stare past the sunflowers
the ones that used to bloom there
Biting my lip again
I feel a growing loss
The sunshine in the park
falls dull to dim
as I draw my hopes closer
My knees to my chin
guard me from losing
anymore than I can win
Faith bound by thin ropes
of whimsical poetry
as if my thoughts
were light enough
to lead you home to me
Is one single drop
of rain from my sadness
worth the plastic spoon
I hold together
because it broke too soon
from the weight of mediocrity
I only have the limited capacity
to fully understand
why you couldn't
just love me imperfectly
tousles and teases
my once smooth dreams
interrupting my deeper thoughts
while I stare past the sunflowers
the ones that used to bloom there
Biting my lip again
I feel a growing loss
The sunshine in the park
falls dull to dim
as I draw my hopes closer
My knees to my chin
guard me from losing
anymore than I can win
Faith bound by thin ropes
of whimsical poetry
as if my thoughts
were light enough
to lead you home to me
Is one single drop
of rain from my sadness
worth the plastic spoon
I hold together
because it broke too soon
from the weight of mediocrity
I only have the limited capacity
to fully understand
why you couldn't
just love me imperfectly
Sunday, October 8, 2006
Bland
This I write as we should speak
And mourn the loss of lover's care
Our souls who witness this will weep
To know our worlds are barely there
No longer touching inside of you
I cannot reach beyond your wall
These superficial night venues
Replace the tenderness of last year's fall
Your face reads no secret emotion
The air is drenched with tense strain
I stare my hope into your reflection
While swallowing my rising pain
And through all of this dull and bland
I bite my lip and stare at your hands
And mourn the loss of lover's care
Our souls who witness this will weep
To know our worlds are barely there
No longer touching inside of you
I cannot reach beyond your wall
These superficial night venues
Replace the tenderness of last year's fall
Your face reads no secret emotion
The air is drenched with tense strain
I stare my hope into your reflection
While swallowing my rising pain
And through all of this dull and bland
I bite my lip and stare at your hands
Saturday, October 7, 2006
Repent
Those three treasured words
often seem common or trite
spoken in the heat of passion
or as closure to a painful fight
But taken from your rigid lips
or given just the same
mean more to my disoriented heart
than I can ever explain
I've pushed you miles further
than you can safely swim home
It's too deep to search your sea
but my heart needs to atone
That numbing, emotionless hum
of nothing bleeding through your veins
that miscalculated passionless sum
from too much anger and repeated pain
Would that I had tamed the oceans
and prayed for more rain
As the buoy floats above you
but your arms and legs are spent
I'll find a way to hold you up
I'll find a way to repent
And if you tread better without me
I'll dive deepest into my own
Forever remembering my wrongful trespass
upon your unsuspecting soul
For SPM
often seem common or trite
spoken in the heat of passion
or as closure to a painful fight
But taken from your rigid lips
or given just the same
mean more to my disoriented heart
than I can ever explain
I've pushed you miles further
than you can safely swim home
It's too deep to search your sea
but my heart needs to atone
That numbing, emotionless hum
of nothing bleeding through your veins
that miscalculated passionless sum
from too much anger and repeated pain
Would that I had tamed the oceans
and prayed for more rain
As the buoy floats above you
but your arms and legs are spent
I'll find a way to hold you up
I'll find a way to repent
And if you tread better without me
I'll dive deepest into my own
Forever remembering my wrongful trespass
upon your unsuspecting soul
For SPM
Friday, October 6, 2006
Mistress
I wrote more thoughts of us today
and piled them in that darkened room
You know the one with the sign on the door
"Just leave them here, I will be back soon"
So the pages and pages of you and me
will collect in a home filled with emptiness
And the love borne from poetry and memory
will fade, then disappear into nothingness
As I close this tattered book tonight
I huddle silently behind your closed door
A living proof of the author's right
My pen is not mightier than your whore
and piled them in that darkened room
You know the one with the sign on the door
"Just leave them here, I will be back soon"
So the pages and pages of you and me
will collect in a home filled with emptiness
And the love borne from poetry and memory
will fade, then disappear into nothingness
As I close this tattered book tonight
I huddle silently behind your closed door
A living proof of the author's right
My pen is not mightier than your whore
Thursday, October 5, 2006
Exility
My soul lies somewhere inside of those dreams
Where I met you under the moonlight's taste
Your soul floats close to the rising peaks
Of soft moving streams and sodden faith
The sleepy waking eye blinks twice
My mind is consumed with infinite vines
Green blooms entangled with wintery ice
Lacking seasons to nurture the complex designs
My soul lies in memories beneath lover's sheets
Where touches and whispers invigorate my heart
Your soul is a beggar at obscurity's feet
Where head, heart and body remain far apart;
Behind ignorant eyes of tranquility
You cast none of this into my exility
Where I met you under the moonlight's taste
Your soul floats close to the rising peaks
Of soft moving streams and sodden faith
The sleepy waking eye blinks twice
My mind is consumed with infinite vines
Green blooms entangled with wintery ice
Lacking seasons to nurture the complex designs
My soul lies in memories beneath lover's sheets
Where touches and whispers invigorate my heart
Your soul is a beggar at obscurity's feet
Where head, heart and body remain far apart;
Behind ignorant eyes of tranquility
You cast none of this into my exility
Wednesday, October 4, 2006
Absolution
Angels watch but never speak
They linger here in cause and curse
I beg for mercy at their feet -
My pain proclaimed in secret verse
With holy hands they let me breed
Then wash them of the world I knew
Why do they stand so silently
And watch me fall away from you?
Angels eyes reflect the night
Hidden tears fall upon my face
Misguided by their fading light
I fall again from saving grace
Blue lips turn cold from misery
Absolution, breathe new life into me!
They linger here in cause and curse
I beg for mercy at their feet -
My pain proclaimed in secret verse
With holy hands they let me breed
Then wash them of the world I knew
Why do they stand so silently
And watch me fall away from you?
Angels eyes reflect the night
Hidden tears fall upon my face
Misguided by their fading light
I fall again from saving grace
Blue lips turn cold from misery
Absolution, breathe new life into me!
Tuesday, October 3, 2006
Veiled
I tried so hard to remove the veil
Perseverance of love without protection
But live-giving whispers turned deathly pale
And I stole from you your last breath of affection
I realize now I cannot fully unveil
the innocence of you hidden from me
In knowing this I surrender this will
To love you past impossiblity
Perseverance of love without protection
But live-giving whispers turned deathly pale
And I stole from you your last breath of affection
I realize now I cannot fully unveil
the innocence of you hidden from me
In knowing this I surrender this will
To love you past impossiblity
Monday, October 2, 2006
Cradle
The softest breath upon my neck
Reminds me of your velvet kiss
The slightest smile upon his face
Returns me to your loving arms
His shyness is the depth of you
That my own heart cannot retain
Sweet joy he knows of you and me
And when he cries it is your pain
Night brings dreams of your soft voice
Those songs you sang before he knew
Day will be his favorite place
To write and send his thoughts of you
He's growing stronger by the day
When will you find the time to stay
Reminds me of your velvet kiss
The slightest smile upon his face
Returns me to your loving arms
His shyness is the depth of you
That my own heart cannot retain
Sweet joy he knows of you and me
And when he cries it is your pain
Night brings dreams of your soft voice
Those songs you sang before he knew
Day will be his favorite place
To write and send his thoughts of you
He's growing stronger by the day
When will you find the time to stay
Sunday, October 1, 2006
Nothing
Nothing like the black hole of night,
Nor bright and clear like the comforting day
A simple and motionless stranded kite -
Praying for something to take it away
Nothing like the words you spoke
Drunk with fermenting adrenaline
Much more like the stubborn oak
With propagating timberline
But silent and distant as the wind
That breathes nowhere around me
Until the suffering tempest moves past,
You abandon me where you found me
When you finally reach out your hand,
I'm lost among the grains of sand
Nor bright and clear like the comforting day
A simple and motionless stranded kite -
Praying for something to take it away
Nothing like the words you spoke
Drunk with fermenting adrenaline
Much more like the stubborn oak
With propagating timberline
But silent and distant as the wind
That breathes nowhere around me
Until the suffering tempest moves past,
You abandon me where you found me
When you finally reach out your hand,
I'm lost among the grains of sand
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Insecurity
Adrenaline rush
pulses through my body
consuming me with an energy
close to the exhilaration
felt early this morning
Climbing higher and faster
predestined for the top
I notice the calico sky
mismatched patterns
of clouds drifting by
Shielding my eyes from the sun
squinting to make sense
of the tiny world below me
feeling the essence
of breath and light
I lift for a moment
Then a paradox of flight;
Arms reaching for the high
My soul heavy and snagged
on the ground far beneath me
sinks to the bottom
of my insecurity
because you called her first
instead of me
pulses through my body
consuming me with an energy
close to the exhilaration
felt early this morning
Climbing higher and faster
predestined for the top
I notice the calico sky
mismatched patterns
of clouds drifting by
Shielding my eyes from the sun
squinting to make sense
of the tiny world below me
feeling the essence
of breath and light
I lift for a moment
Then a paradox of flight;
Arms reaching for the high
My soul heavy and snagged
on the ground far beneath me
sinks to the bottom
of my insecurity
because you called her first
instead of me
Friday, September 29, 2006
Clouds
Ambiguous grey skies
Sad, dreary day
Slow time with quiet hours
stopping to wonder
missing the flowers in spring
They say it may rain
but all I can think of
is how the gathering clouds
feel like familiar whispers...
your heated breath upon my neck
The sun's determined shine
slightly peeking through
the stubborn morning haze
reflects the memory of your smile
and the love in your eyes
Sad, dreary day
Slow time with quiet hours
stopping to wonder
missing the flowers in spring
They say it may rain
but all I can think of
is how the gathering clouds
feel like familiar whispers...
your heated breath upon my neck
The sun's determined shine
slightly peeking through
the stubborn morning haze
reflects the memory of your smile
and the love in your eyes
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Cure
The words are forming in my head
And soon we are to say goodbye
The part I loathe, the sound I dread
Is when I have to mask my sigh
The night breathes doubt, I feel life sour
Damned restless thoughts keep me awake!
Tears come and go through lonely hours
Fear slithers past my hidden gate -
A smile plays upon his face
The feeling bathes me in sweet bliss
His loving arms around my waist
Conceal his leaving with a kiss
A sound much softer, ripe and pure
My lover’s laughter is the cure
And soon we are to say goodbye
The part I loathe, the sound I dread
Is when I have to mask my sigh
The night breathes doubt, I feel life sour
Damned restless thoughts keep me awake!
Tears come and go through lonely hours
Fear slithers past my hidden gate -
A smile plays upon his face
The feeling bathes me in sweet bliss
His loving arms around my waist
Conceal his leaving with a kiss
A sound much softer, ripe and pure
My lover’s laughter is the cure
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Toxic
I fought the feelings tirelessly
With hope that they would disappear
But now with green toxicity
the Stupid Girl is standing here
I've lost the sense of what was real
My thoughts plagued black with observation
My pride will claim it all surreal
And wipe away the red sensations
No doubt you love me, and I love you
But Stupid strangles my breathing heart
My will became weaker as we grew
And finally tore my strength apart;
This airbrushed fear consumed my soul
This Stupid Girl has lost control
With hope that they would disappear
But now with green toxicity
the Stupid Girl is standing here
I've lost the sense of what was real
My thoughts plagued black with observation
My pride will claim it all surreal
And wipe away the red sensations
No doubt you love me, and I love you
But Stupid strangles my breathing heart
My will became weaker as we grew
And finally tore my strength apart;
This airbrushed fear consumed my soul
This Stupid Girl has lost control
Typical Me
This whole new love is difficult to see
Thoughts hold my heart for ransom again
Oh doubt, stupid pride, vile insecurity!
Take me to where you have already been
Guide my wanders and mislead my wonders
Teach me some sense from leaning in closer
Part me from living like a rainbow with thunder
Distract my desire to pull the strings tighter
My pleas are lingering too many to ignore
A damaged learner for mockery's pleasure
No longer resting at the solid oak door
Time has renounced me his stupid beggar
This whole new love would be easier to see
If I had been anyone but the typical me
Thoughts hold my heart for ransom again
Oh doubt, stupid pride, vile insecurity!
Take me to where you have already been
Guide my wanders and mislead my wonders
Teach me some sense from leaning in closer
Part me from living like a rainbow with thunder
Distract my desire to pull the strings tighter
My pleas are lingering too many to ignore
A damaged learner for mockery's pleasure
No longer resting at the solid oak door
Time has renounced me his stupid beggar
This whole new love would be easier to see
If I had been anyone but the typical me
Remarried
Anchors and oceans lovesick and brave
Standing on the periphery of a obstructed view
Sleep has divorced me since the end of May
As life has engaged and married you anew
Standing on the periphery of a obstructed view
Sleep has divorced me since the end of May
As life has engaged and married you anew
Missing
Something like the sweetest dew
Has lived within my eyes for days
But lonliness has turned their hue
While holding hope in stable faith
The words are muttered, muddled, drained
My hands are cold and cannot write
When love's new vows are too restrained
I fade to dreams near Jamestown's light
Enclosed, entranced for hours it seems
Until the screen fades blue to black
And some known needed mild reprieve
An infant's smile -- brings me back
Though newborn's sighs are soft like rain
My search for you is still in vain
Has lived within my eyes for days
But lonliness has turned their hue
While holding hope in stable faith
The words are muttered, muddled, drained
My hands are cold and cannot write
When love's new vows are too restrained
I fade to dreams near Jamestown's light
Enclosed, entranced for hours it seems
Until the screen fades blue to black
And some known needed mild reprieve
An infant's smile -- brings me back
Though newborn's sighs are soft like rain
My search for you is still in vain
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Wind's Song
Gaze upon this star
it shines for us
Look inside your heart
and you will feel my touch
Slowly and gently like the wind
I'll come to sing to you again
Kiss me underneath
the moonlit stars
when we're far away
I'll wonder where you are
See me in your dreams
and feel me there
I'm holding you -
you know I care
Clouds bring rain
Take my love as shelter
from the falling pain
Know my dear
I just want to be with you...
Gaze upon this star
it shines for us
Look inside your heart
and you will feel my trust
Softly and gently
like the wind
I came to sing to you again
it shines for us
Look inside your heart
and you will feel my touch
Slowly and gently like the wind
I'll come to sing to you again
Kiss me underneath
the moonlit stars
when we're far away
I'll wonder where you are
See me in your dreams
and feel me there
I'm holding you -
you know I care
Clouds bring rain
Take my love as shelter
from the falling pain
Know my dear
I just want to be with you...
Gaze upon this star
it shines for us
Look inside your heart
and you will feel my trust
Softly and gently
like the wind
I came to sing to you again
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Breakfast
Table set with flowers and beauty
birds sing their eager approval
In the distance they wait patiently
for a crumb or two to fall...
Chattering voices
like nature's gossip
fill the early morning air
with great expectations
of the promising day that lies ahead
For a moment
a sweet memory warms my flesh
like the aroma of the fresh baked bread
And I glance lovingly, longingly
at the sun's emerging rays
on the nearby concrete wall
birds sing their eager approval
In the distance they wait patiently
for a crumb or two to fall...
Chattering voices
like nature's gossip
fill the early morning air
with great expectations
of the promising day that lies ahead
For a moment
a sweet memory warms my flesh
like the aroma of the fresh baked bread
And I glance lovingly, longingly
at the sun's emerging rays
on the nearby concrete wall
Photograph
In this photograph
a future and a past
passionate traces of fire
Kisses hidden
under deserted lust
but a taste of your love
will inspire the impossible
Scenery unstable
from changing falls
grows colder with untraveled miles
Send death away
while true love walks astray
to watch the sun rise higher
Put me there permanently
in the crook of your arm
let me hold the trust of your child
Hold me close to your dream
for we share the same
and bring me home
to your missing smile
Take me as your own
and we will live that dream
upon the discovery of your smile
a future and a past
passionate traces of fire
Kisses hidden
under deserted lust
but a taste of your love
will inspire the impossible
Scenery unstable
from changing falls
grows colder with untraveled miles
Send death away
while true love walks astray
to watch the sun rise higher
Put me there permanently
in the crook of your arm
let me hold the trust of your child
Hold me close to your dream
for we share the same
and bring me home
to your missing smile
Take me as your own
and we will live that dream
upon the discovery of your smile
Translating the Rain
Finding undisturbing softness
in translation of the quiet rain
I sigh for the longing memory
of your tender touch upon my skin
And needing so much
to you feel you here
beside me
inside of me
I withold the single tear of joy
that I would shed secretly
upon finding you in my bed once again
breathing life and bringing beauty
into my cold and lonely world
in translation of the quiet rain
I sigh for the longing memory
of your tender touch upon my skin
And needing so much
to you feel you here
beside me
inside of me
I withold the single tear of joy
that I would shed secretly
upon finding you in my bed once again
breathing life and bringing beauty
into my cold and lonely world
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Counting the Seconds
Wistfully looking out
beyond the same stars
Comforted by his words
but still feeling so far away
tears formed in her heart
Missing him too much
her body grew cool
like the silent breeze
tapping at her conscience
Wanting to stay lost
in the loving moment of sighs
deep inside of his soul
where passion has no control
she silently breathed his name
Upon the window
a small cloud of hope
forming promise and purpose
reminded her once more
of the soothing phrase
unsolicited he gave to her
earlier that day
A thought, a wish
only created in her
most private of dreams
spontaneously shared with her
wrapping her longing in
mirrored ribbons of love
This priceless gift of security
in his husky reassuring tone
I'm counting the seconds...
beyond the same stars
Comforted by his words
but still feeling so far away
tears formed in her heart
Missing him too much
her body grew cool
like the silent breeze
tapping at her conscience
Wanting to stay lost
in the loving moment of sighs
deep inside of his soul
where passion has no control
she silently breathed his name
Upon the window
a small cloud of hope
forming promise and purpose
reminded her once more
of the soothing phrase
unsolicited he gave to her
earlier that day
A thought, a wish
only created in her
most private of dreams
spontaneously shared with her
wrapping her longing in
mirrored ribbons of love
This priceless gift of security
in his husky reassuring tone
I'm counting the seconds...
Wednesday, April 5, 2006
Understanding You
How does your brilliant mind
begin each day
watching and learning
without much to say
Understanding little
and hearing too much
you cringe from a kiss
unless you reach for my touch
Your eyes hold a secret
that no one will know
and your ideas take you
to places I can’t go
If I could I’d take your hand
and feel what you feel
this confusion and frustration
I know that it’s real
I may not understand the
absence of your affection
but I see who you are
and will whisper direction
To strengthen your walk
along life’s long road
I’m trying to hold you
somewhere in my world
Where I can protect you
From all of the hurt
And show you the measure
Of all that you are worth
My dear son, try hard to find some meaning
You aren’t lost, you are loved –
You are a part of my heart…
that is always beating
begin each day
watching and learning
without much to say
Understanding little
and hearing too much
you cringe from a kiss
unless you reach for my touch
Your eyes hold a secret
that no one will know
and your ideas take you
to places I can’t go
If I could I’d take your hand
and feel what you feel
this confusion and frustration
I know that it’s real
I may not understand the
absence of your affection
but I see who you are
and will whisper direction
To strengthen your walk
along life’s long road
I’m trying to hold you
somewhere in my world
Where I can protect you
From all of the hurt
And show you the measure
Of all that you are worth
My dear son, try hard to find some meaning
You aren’t lost, you are loved –
You are a part of my heart…
that is always beating
Monday, February 20, 2006
Watching Scottie Grow
Silent words
conveying with his actions
questions and solutions unknown
Pensive mind
heart filled with purpose
angel in my arms
Serious eyes
hollow but aware
different in his mirror
Senstive ears
painfully absorbing
sounds we cannot hear
Loving soul
a blessed gift of wonder
continuing in his world...
to play and learn and grow
conveying with his actions
questions and solutions unknown
Pensive mind
heart filled with purpose
angel in my arms
Serious eyes
hollow but aware
different in his mirror
Senstive ears
painfully absorbing
sounds we cannot hear
Loving soul
a blessed gift of wonder
continuing in his world...
to play and learn and grow
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