Karma

I must have been
horrible and selfish
in my last life
to have to now endure
such tragic pain
The once cool and cleansing waters
burn my gentle flesh
like a growing acid rain

Plea

Silently God, I pray to you again
please send me someone's heart to know and love
Created from the softness found within
an angel's hands from somewhere up above
Patiently, I will wait the passing years
bringing pure faith, teaching him how to hope
Carrying burdens and fighting his fears
lending my strength when he's too weak to cope
Faithfully God, I ask of you once more
please trust me with someone's hesitation
To love another soul, and be adored
humbled by my reconcilliation
Honestly God, he's more than just a dream
I'm begging for you now to intervene

Upon Returning Home

You brought me back
into your strong arms
with that charming smile
and the reassuring look
in your sparkling blue eyes
that said softly
Welcome home, my love,
it has only been a little while

Your Songs

Please sing another song to me, my dear
Your voice becomes the mirror of our peace
Reflecting joy and love --it brings you here
Upon this bed where lovers' music meets
The melody and harmony will play
As skin to skin we synchronize our tunes
The rythm of our movements will not fade
And summer sounds will echo heat in June
This tango of our souls cannot compete
With hymns or verses sung in sweetened rhyme
Our breathless sighs become the sweaty beat
While passion's notes resound within our eyes
When you sing your beautiful songs to me
I know how perfect life can really be

Spiral

It seems my soft touch was not enough
to keep you here for one more hour
or less if I should ask as much
so now the night begins to sour
We talk of ifs as though we learned
to take advantage of the time
But live in hindsight overturned
and bury forgiveness inside of rhyme

Somewhat like my poetry
I feel even more insecurity
Goodnight to me
is good morning to you
And unfortunately recently
there are so few...

8:00

Around eight o' clock tonight
it surprised me, overwhelmed me --
that insatiable desire
to tenderly kiss your lips
And this whispered memory
wrapped in warm, searching bliss
found its way to my thoughts
lingering there patiently
waiting for your touch
I miss you so much
As the song of us
played in a nearby room
I glanced at the moon settling down
into her night's peaceful dreams
desperately longing for your hands
to gently caress my growing fantasy
I remembered how making love to you
was the ultimate crescendo of ecstasy

Once, Tonight

And now I know with tears I cannot hide
The place your heart and mind went for awhile
To write and write and write but not to bide
Your time with me until you saw my smile
I've been through this with you too many times
And all you do is hang your head for now
But someone else will always catch your eye
With better prose minus the precious vow
So now my pen resides inside its box
The hurt will keep its love and words at bay
Those words that gave us life will now be locked
The poetry in my mind fades to grey

Once, a word from you was like a soft kiss
Tonight I feel like nothing but a tryst

Unoriginal Rhyme

Forget traditional forms
and iambic rules
you hurt me deeply
I feel like a fool
These words were all I had
for you at one time
and now they are simply
lines of unoriginal rhyme
This place contains
a diary of my soul:
memories of our flesh
and stories we haven't told
You treat it like some
time consuming aferthought
listening closer
only when we have fought
But I felt it tonight
and knew you were preoccupied
when I read it I felt
perpetual pain rise inside
It does come first
and I should understand
you have so much to do
to accomplish your plan
But balance and limits
are echoes of fear
You shouldn't condone them
not with me here
I think of those times
at the foot of your bed
or the stunning moments
when you finally said
How much you love me
and need me in your life
but tonight I feel
the jagged edge of your knife
Salted wounds of envy
break open, sting and burn
while pangs of regret bleed
what I should have learned
Maybe it doesn't matter
when I take the time
to praise your clever songs
and share what is on my mind
Oh how you inspire
every part of me
If you could only feel my touch
I know that you would see

How very much I love you...

But Why am I bothering to speak?
You are already asleep

Ridiculous Ramble

Where is my pen?
I must go and write!
This sadness is growing
and replacing the light
that our love once brought
in the middle of the day
and I'm not sure why
it has gone away
My words are simple
bordering on trite
but you're the reason I'm awake
in the darkness of night
when others are sleeping
arm around arm
and a sigh keeps them safe
like a loving alarm
Do you think I write poetry
to hear myself whine
I'm defeated by your will
and your lack of time
If I had known long ago
that your ability to stay cool
would transform me into
 a ridiculous rambling fool...
Would I have allowed love
to be so unkind and cruel

Sleep

Sleep waits for me
I sense her near
And some years from now
I will finally leave
your careless silence
leaning against the wall
and crawl into my bed
of permanent hibernating dreams

Ungrasped

Slowly
Steadily
I am transforming
into the one
you thought you wanted
This metamorphasis
is dangerously disarming
my will to stay close
is constantly fading
I'll hold my breath
for as long as I can
remaining silent
until you finally speak;
Releasing it only
to kiss which hand
had promised to hold mine
while climbing up this peak
As quickly as your pseudo-grasp
loosens its grip --

I end this trip

Crash

I'm soaring like a bird upon this high
surrounded by the beauty of your love
My breath inhales a calm and then I sigh
through passing clouds and happiness above
But with a word or lack of one I crash
unable to remain in flight alone
I close my eyes and will for it to pass
But sadness overwhelms me and I'm done
My wings lose strength and fold to mask my heart
while gravity pulls swiftly at my height
The force begins to rip my mind apart
Helplessly I fall far out of your sight

When I finally slam into the ground
I lay broken with no one around

Viewing

Her hands disturbed me the most
Not the ghostlike eerie sleep
imposed upon her frozen shell
Her mouth fell slightly at the corner
as if she were only dreaming
unaware of people around her 
sighing and weeping
But I could tell at once
life had truly taken leave of her
When I lightly brushed her skin
and the lifegiving, sustaining blood
had simply vanished within

Goodnight to Dreams

I said goodnight to you
but the night refused
to grant me rest
under such unhappy news
The dream of family and hearthside calm
has turned to nightmarish places
where final lines are drawn
And the peaceful home
I have desperately sought
is simply a broken branch
of the twisted oak tree
high above the ground
where old fruit rots

Different Reasons

Remember that sweet summer breeze in June
Just as the sun would set upon our day
That comforting presence within the room
While we talked and I watched our children play
An exclamation point to our goodbye
Would cleverly mask life’s uncertainty
But the growing softness in your replies
Easily soothed my insecurities
Time rushes away with our past in hand
I scrape your cold dinner into the trash
Calendars remind you to meet demands –
But never the ones that I gently ask

Does it all disappear due to seasons
Or will I leave for different reasons

Inspiration

Inspiring words
Thoughts breathe life from a writer
Tranquil and serene

Broken

Silent and confused
                        Broken heart never mended
                        Forgotten love dies

Kiss

Breeze through a window
Softest kiss upon my brow
Memories taste sweet

Your Biography

Your biography broke me apart tonight
I know she was at the start with you
steel hoop around your heart
but it's as if we never existed
Your pride for her shines through louder
than the tears she will never let you cry
I stand silently and get no reply...
You mention her everywhere
and I'm no longer there
Not like before
when you came through the door
and held home inside of your arms
Now you ignore the alarms going off
inside of your mind
You've replaced affection
and careless protection
with important tasks
and I'm afraid to ask to be loved
and nurtured
for fear of hurting you
into the usual anger
It was real!
But I can't remind you
to feel the softness of my skin
or the salty sadness in my tears
You don't really see my smile
and it's been awhile since we have...
Your priorities are beyond numbering
and we are constantly fumbling for ways
to tell each other
"I'm so sorry"
Tonight there is a feeling
I just can't shake --

I am nothing but your mistake

Holiday Hallucination

The shimmering bright lights are blurry
holiday hallucinations -- reminders of the time
you don't have to spend with me
or even pretend to want to
9:30 PM leaves a bad taste in my mouth
like some stupid one hit wonder
And so the second hand chimes
pulling the rug out from underneath my stability
The ability to hold my breath escapes me
and I am falling to the floor
Passive moments place forced comments
inside of my heart
and they age me
like a sour wine --
they ferment into emptiness
and start to multiply uneasiness
My stomach feels the queasiness
like it did upon seeing the box today
I tried so hard to convey how much you mean to me
with a gift --
a small gift
but battered and torn
it didn't come out that way...
You are worn and have had enough
of me, of us
It's just as well
that I have nothing else to say

You wouldn't fucking notice anyway

Soft Memory

Come with me love, into night's memory
where dogwoods grow under moonlit skies
Our kisses sing passion like symphonies
the wind whispers breath to sustain our sighs
Your strong hands guide my deep longing to be
inside of your soul, inside of your heart
Nothing between us but sweet reverie
and the warmth of our skin reflected by stars
Stay with me love, in our own ecstasy
entwined with a promise of love and bliss
Where morning birds bring their soft melody
A sunrise glows on the edge of our kiss

Take me away love, again to that place
of neverending peacefulness and grace

R.S.V.P.

Their snide, rude comments ignite my fury
Whispers shared behind my well aware back
And feigned conern fuels my acrimony
So I smile to keep them way off track

One narrows her eyes and looks down her nose
Reminding me somewhat of a vulture
I respite her queries with calm repose
As another tries to crush my stature

The worst of the clique is the one who coos
At my infant child and pretends to care
All about my life as she drinks my booze
Are those devil's horns underneath her hair?

Your complements are masked with false sweetness;
But don't mistake my silence for weakness

Locks

I rub my eyes past midnight
My desire to respond so intense
Squelched like a child's hand upon a firefly
When I encounter your first line of defense

Praying for mistaken identity --
Perhaps a slip of my hand?
I attempt to reenter the doorway's sanctity
But am unable to move where I stand

Guards are flashing RED
My cheeks are flushed the same
My mind is racing ahead
My heart is covered with shame

I'm not on the inside looking out
The key won't fit the lock
I'm the ship among other boats
Tied to someone else's dock

My watery eyes look away
My shaking hands won't cooperate
I tell myself that's enough for today
Too melancholy now to investigate

Locks and bars represent lack of trust
Now I wonder if that's how you feel about us

Hope

I started to type
"a punch in the stomach"
but flasbacks of your anger
deleted those words
I felt slightly betrayed
by my own question
but couldn't take back
what I'd already heard
Hope simply means
forever to me
but cannot possibly
exist among three...

Stranger

I really do support the desire
though don't fully comprehend the need
My fears watch closely, carefully
should the fire begin to breed
Flames that could reignite
or new ones from your heart
burn slowly and unchaperoned
and we are so far apart
The ones you know from my past
let me go with unrestrained pause
for the same opinion you have of me
and my disappointing flaws
But the difference between my past and present
and those feelings like you that I carried
is they cannot be reconnected or satisfied
with one who is dead and buried