Voices

I had the conversation once or twice
And every word I spoke made so much sense
He's fucked me over now he pays the price
I'll reclaim every moment, each expense
That I've paid for remaining in this life
Losing all I am and wanted to be
I don't care that I am his fucking wife
The bastard's gonna pay you wait and see
I'll lure him with a flutter of my eyes
And lead him to the kitchen to his meal
Where I have fed his greed 'till I despise
Small talk he makes and smells of rotten veal
I'll wash dishes, tell him to go lay down
Then leave the room without making a sound

When he's in bed I will pretend to sleep
With one eye peeled for signs of him dreaming
No I love you between the worn out sheets
I've spent my nights here just waiting, scheming
At first I thought a gun would be just fine
Then realized the shot would make noises
A rope across the neck takes too much time
So many ways -- there are too many choices
At last I settle on using a knife
I know there will be blood -but blood is good
I'll take him from behind after we fight
And hide him in the snow beneath the wood
The cold will freeze his body for awhile
I'd better chop him up --that's more my style

You know you will not kill him, you're too weak
Just shut up! All of you! I'll do it now!
You failed at everything, you are too weak
Just shut up! I will prove to you somehow!
You should not have been born just as you say!
But this is your demon not his, or theirs.
Just shut up! I will make the bastard pay
Just shut up all of you I am prepared!
Then do it --right now do it -- stab his heart!
No! Rip it out right of his fucking chest!
Tear it in half, dagger it in two parts?
Yes, go! This time we will expect no less
Whatever - just lean over raise the blade
Oh God!  I've made a terrible mistake!

There's too much blood to see --what do I do?
I think he's dying but he's still awake!
You idiot!  You didn't cut straight through.
You're right you've made a terrible mistake!
He's not murdered he's writhing there in pain.
I'm watching him and I don't feel a thing
Can you not see he's dying -- feel some shame!
For doing such an evil, greedy deed?
Fuck off I've got a gun and will use that!
Where were those bullets --God he's getting loud.
Oh yes, in the desk drawer under his hat
I've loaded it and feel a little proud.
Just like I planned until the knife broke off
I shoot the gun, inhale the smoke, and cough

The blood is drying up too fast to clean
I know there's gasoline out in the shed
I'll dump it on the floor and light the scene
With weapons and his body on the bed
I'm glad it is still winter and the snow
Will cover up the arson for awhile
I'm not sure where to hide or where to go
I refuse to face arrest or stand trial
This fucking blood is everywhere on me!
Well clean it up! You look like shit you know
That oozing blood is making me woozy
I'll start a roaring fire so I can show
All of you I killed the bastard for good
Like I always told all of you I would.

 *for r and m