Pushed

Do you know how hard it is
to be the one to speak
I feel like you enjoy this
see me as foolish and weak
I didn't tell you immediately
now you've lied to me as well
you told me you would try harder
not to put me through such hell
With your silence and your jaw clenched
You own my every thought
 "I don't want to lose you"
the very last time we fought
This poetry is crappy
unread and misunderstood
I'm saying you've chosen to hurt me
when I've asked for forgiveness
just like I said you would
I meant it when I said
through falling tears --play god much?
It seems insane and incredible
that you didn't feel it in my touch
The promises I made to you
I've kept and still plan to keep
While you write, or whatever else you're doing
I'm broken, incomplete
I tried tonight --you know I tried my best
I took that very first scary leap
You just pushed me down the mountain

we climbed together ---

and went to sleep.