I m p er f e ctly

No more icy backgrounds
You've found solace in sushi
and sleepless nights
when the bed creaks
slightly to the right
and you don't have to say anything
if you turn it all on me
Except how we
should just stop
the stupid game
we don't play
What game?
The same one
we vehemently deny
until I cry so hard
my guts turn into blood
like an emotional flood
that you will never tread
because you've never really listened
to those feelings in your head
And your heart?
What heart?
Locked behind a steel trap
years ago
And if anyone asks
You fumble over
calculated, fabricated sighs
murmuring you misplaced it
somewhere in her eyes
It wasn't her fault?
Then was it yours?
When you pole vaulted into me
Feeling so certain, so sure
that my soul was your posession
and irresistably impure...
Now I see it too clearly
Looking in the mirror
through acidic, burning tears
you never asked me to stay
but always ran fast and far
always, always went away
You stopped the silence
only to bring more
Then turning on a smile
walked out the door
for more conversation
and sensational loving
with someone else.
Leave me on your shelf
next to your faux religion
and surface dreams
Where you lie
unsafe and unhappy
inside of your screams
while disregarding my love for you
like the melting ice cream
that dribbled down my cup
in the afterglow scene...
To some
I might seem used and abused
To me
you are indifferent to real love
because you choose to be --
or maybe just a sociopath
pretending to be confused
But my God!
wishes not dollars
buy a little boy
a nice, much needed pair of shoes
with compensation left over
to paint a different hue
over the permanent punch in my stomach
a walking and talking blue-eyed bruise
a growing, large visible reminder
of all you stand to lose
The one you continually ignore
every time you leave me
for some other whore
The one playing next to me quietly
while I silently crumble
onto a familiar floor
While you say
I don't want to do this anymore
Stealing my soul from me
and everything else we'd be
I still had so much left
to give to you for free
The perfect murder!
You carried it out!
You planned it all...
didn't you?
You must have
for it to end so
i m p er f e ctly
for two